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    Correction/Myths and heroes

    Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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    Correction/Myths and heroes
    Message de lalob19 posté le 04-01-2018 à 15:50:45 (S | E | F)
    Bonjour,
    je prépare mes oraux pour le bac, pouvez vous m'aider à corriger les fautes....
    Merci d'avance.

    I will talk about the subject myth and heroes. At first don't confuse a myth and a hero. A myth can be defined as a story about gods or heroes, it can be a popular belief or a tradition or a false notion. A hero can be a mythological figure, a person who is admired for his courage or his outstanding achievement.
    To what extent did Rosa Parks/ Martin Luther King/ Norman Rockwell contribute to the improvement of black American’s rights? To answer this question we will see 3 different heroes.
    To my mind, the documents that seem to best illustrate the notion are the painting to Norman rockwell who shows the story of Ruby Bridge, and the wall painting by Mr Brainswash and whose reeal name is Thierry Guetta to illustrate 2 heroes : Martin luther king and rosa parks.

    In the first document, on the 14th November 1960, Ruby Bridges was the first African-American child to attend William Frantz Elementary school, it's an all-white school in the South.
    The painter commemorated her chaotic walk to her first day in the white school. There was a large crowd of angry people outside. They wanted to kill her. The treats and rejection had never really ceased even if members of the white community later showed support. Ruby Bridges formed in 1999 the Ruby Bridges Foundation to promote values and she received many awards for her actions.

    Then, in the wall painting by Mr Brainswash, It represents Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King Jr and Barack Obama, portrayed standing next to each other. On the left side of the wall, we can read a text. On another wall next to it, the words “Follow your dreams” are also painted.The three of them embody the evolution of Afro-american rights since the 1950s. The repetition, and choices of the verbs, refer to specific actions accomplished by these emblematic figures.
    Rosa Parks, she, was one of the first people to actively challenge the America's segregation laws. She symbolized the civil rights movement. Everyone hailed her courage and strength by her refusal to give her seat to a white man on an Alabama bus, in December 1955.
    The law required blacks passengers give their seat to the whites passengers. She was convicted of breaking the law and fined 10$. Her action sparked the most famous bus boycott that lasted 381 days. Simultaneous, legal challenges led to a Supreme Court decision that forced Montgomery to desegregate its bus system and quashed other discriminatory laws throughout America's South. In 1999, the US Senate described Ms Parks as "a living icon for freedom in America".

    Despite, Martin Luther King, wanted black and white Americans to live happily together. On the third Monday in January, many Americans honor this hero. Martin Luther King, was a black pastor. He was born in Atlanta, Georgia on 15 January, 1929. He was the leader of the Civil Rights movement demanding equality for black people. Many Southern states in the USA like Georgia, were segregated in the 1950s: black children couldn’t go to the same schools as whites; Blacks and Whites couldn’t sit in the same bus seats, theatres or use the same public toilets. As previously said In December 1955, Rosa Parks refused to give a place to a white man in a bus, she was arrested. so King who was working in Montgomery, led a black protest. Dr King was now famous and he continued with many other protests. Some white people supported him, but many opposed him. His house was bombed. In 1964, he received the Nobel Peace Prize. But he continued to have enemies and on April 4, 1968 he was assassinated. Ironically, the death of this non-violent man provoked riots all over America.

    To conclude, the documents shows that some people, like here Ruby Bridges, Rosa Parks, Norman rockweel, rosa parks stand for equality between blacks and whites. It's thanks to people like them that there was a progression of the state of mind.
    These are today real heroes in the eyes of everyone, they are known for their courage, are admired because of their achievements, or messages. They represent a model, an ideal man. For some people they are models, even if some other their ideas could be bad.

    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 04-01-2018 15:59



    Réponse : Correction/Myths and heroes de laure95, postée le 05-01-2018 à 17:25:11 (S | E)
    Bonsoir,
    - it can be a popular belief or a tradition or a false notion: enlever un "or".
    - Martin luther king and rosa parks: majuscules!

    - on the (pas de "the" à l'écrit)14th November 1960
    - it's (passé)an all-white school in the South.
    - members of the white community later showed (mettre un possessif)support.

    - in the wall painting by Mr Brainswash, It represents Rosa Parks: mal construit.
    - portrayed standing next to each other: each other ne s'emploie que pour 2 personnes, ici il y en a 3!
    - The three of them embody the evolution of Afro-american rights since the 1950s: since + present perfect.
    - The repetition,(enlever la virgule) and choices of the verbs,(enlever la virgule) refer to specific actions accomplished by these (these ne s'emploie pas au passé) emblematic figures.
    -Rosa Parks, she,(pas de répéptition de sujet) was one of the first people
    - The law required blacks passengers (préposition)give their seat (pluriel) to the (pas de the)whites (pas au pluriel) passengers.
    - Simultaneous : mettre l'adverbe.

    - Despite, Martin Luther King,(on ne met pas de virgule entre le sujet et son verbe conjugué!) wanted
    - On the third Monday in (pas la bonne préposition ici)January, many Americans honor this hero.
    - Martin Luther King, was a black pastor.
    - As previously said In (pas de majuscule) December 1955
    - she was arrested. so (majuscule)King who was working in Montgomery
    - Dr King was now (was et now ne sont pas compatibles)famous
    - the death of this (pas au passé) non-violent man provoked riots all over America.

    - To conclude, the documents shows (faute de conjugaison)that some people,
    - Norman rockweel, rosa parks (majuscule)stand (passé)for (article) equality between blacks and whites.
    - It's (passé)thanks to people like them that there was a progression of the state of mind.
    - They represent a model, an ideal man:?
    - even if (il manque un mot) some other (pluriel) their ideas could be bad.



    Réponse : Correction/Myths and heroes de here4u, postée le 05-01-2018 à 22:10:46 (S | E)
    Hello!

    I will talk about the subject "myth and heroes". At first don't confuse a myth and a hero. A myth can be defined as a story about gods or heroes, it can be a popular belief, or a tradition or a false notion. A hero can be a mythological figure, a person who is admired for his courage or his outstanding achievement.
    To what extent did Rosa Parks/ Martin Luther King/ Norman Rockwell contribute to the improvement of black American’s rights? To answer this question we will see 3 different heroes.
    To my mind, the documents that seem to best illustrate the notion are the painting to Norman rockwell who shows; (; he showed) the story of Ruby Bridge, and the wall-painting by Mr Brainswash and( whose reeal name is Thierry Guetta) to illustrate 2 heroes : Martin luther king and rosa parks.

    In the first document, on the 14th November 1960, Ruby Bridges was the first African-American child to attend William Frantz Elementary school, it's an all-white school in the South.
    The painter commemorated her chaotic walk to(for?) her first day in the white school. There was a large crowd of angry people outside. They wanted to kill her. The treats and rejection had never really ceased even if members of the white community later showed support. Ruby Bridges formed in 1999(en début de phrase) the Ruby Bridges Foundation to promote values and she received many awards for her actions.

    Then, in the wall-painting by Mr Brainswash, It represents Rosa Parks,(construction à revoir) Martin Luther King Jr and Barack Obama, portrayed standing next to each other. On the left side of the wall, we can read a text. On another wall next to it, the words “Follow your dreams” are also painted.The three of them embody the evolution of Afro-american rights since the 1950s. The repetition, and choices of the verbs, refer to specific actions accomplished by these emblematic figures.
    Rosa Parks, she, was one of the first people to actively (Yuk! a split infinitive!) challenge the America's segregation laws. She symbolized the civil rights movement. Everyone hailed her courage and strength by her = clumsy!) refusal to give her seat to a white man on an Alabama bus, in December 1955.
    The law required blacks passengers give= constructionup their seat to the whites passengers. She was convicted of breaking the law and fined 10$. Her action sparked the most famous bus boycott that lasted 381 days. Simultaneous,= adverb required legal challenges led to a Supreme Court decision that forced Montgomery to desegregate its bus system and quashed other discriminatory laws throughout America's South. In 1999, the US Senate described Ms Parks as "a living icon for freedom in America".

    Despite,= mauvais mot de liaison Martin Luther King, wanted black and white Americans to live happily together. On the third Monday in January, many Americans honor this hero. Martin Luther King, was a black pastor. He was born in Atlanta, Georgia on 15 January, 1929. He was the leader of the Civil Rights movement demanding equality for black people. Many Southern states in the USA like Georgia, were segregated in the 1950s: black children couldn’t go to the same schools as whites; Blacks and Whites couldn’t sit in the same bus seats,= very clumsy theatres or use the same public toilets. As previously said In December 1955, Rosa Parks refused to give a place to a white man in a bus, she was arrested. so King who was working in Montgomery, led a black protest. Dr King was now famous and he continued with many other protests. Some white people supported him, but many opposed him. His house was bombed. In 1964, he received the Nobel Peace Prize. But he continued to have enemies and on April 4, 1968 he was assassinated. Ironically, the death of this non-violent man provoked riots all over America.

    To conclude, the documents shows that some people, like here Ruby Bridges, Rosa Parks, Norman rockweel, rosa parks stand XX for equality between blacks and whites. It's thanks to people like them that there was a progression of the state of mind.
    These are today real heroes in the eyes of everyone, they are known for their courage, are admired because of their achievements, or messages. They represent a model, an ideal man. For some people they are models, even if XXX some other their ideas could be bad.




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