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    Description/ oeuvre

    Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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    Description/ oeuvre
    Message de jane37 posté le 12-07-2018 à 20:42:36 (S | E | F)
    Bonjour,
    serait-il possible de corriger les fautes de grammaire et de vocabulaire dans une description de l'œuvre de Berthe Morisot "La chasse aux papillons "?
    Merci beaucoup .

    DESCRIPTION OF THE WORK (La chasse aux papillons by Berthe Morisot)
    We are witnessing a butterfly hunt on a summer afternoon.
    In the foreground, in the center of the painting, a young woman in a white dress looks at the painter.
    She holds in her hands a net to catch butterflies.
    The handle of the butterfly net forms a line of force in diagonal dynamism in a canvas otherwise quiet.
    The young woman, the little girl in black dress and the trees form vertical vanishing lines.

    The face of the young woman has an enigmatic air.
    His very discreet but nevertheless mischievous smile suggests a return to childhood.
    The young woman is the point of fixation of the painting, attracting the attention of the spectator while keeping a timid and reserved attitude.
    The black hat of the young woman seems to be a halo.

    In the background, on his right and next to the tree stands a little girl.
    She seems to be staring at her mother with admiration.
    His clothes are the exact opposite of those worn by his mother.
    White dress and black hat for the mother, black dress and white hat for the little girl.

    Her sister, a blond little creature crouching back like a chrysalis, picking something and adopting a charming and naive attitude like children's
    The depth is suggested in this painting by a shades of green that become darker and darker as the viewer approaches, thus suggesting the closed and shaded space of a clearing.
    The play of lights is also participative of this impression: the zones are thus delimited by soft transitions characteristic of the impressionist style.
    The young woman seems protected by greenery.

    On the other hand, chromatic scale is very small, non-white and black as well as brown and green are the unique creators of sensation of sweetness.
    This aspect of softness is supported by the blur lines; the contours shaded the painting in little indistinct touches.
    The colors tend towards the warm tones expressing the soothing and the freshness.
    Finally, where are the butterflies? We cannot discern any ... Paradox
    And yet the light shawl folded over the shoulders forming a bow tie.
    The young woman seems to insinuate that she is herself a butterfly with fragile wings
    Since then, who hunts, what is hunted?
    Would not it be the three characters
    The real butterfly hunter is actually other than Berthe Morisot who captures these fragile women real delicate and powdery creatures in full flight.
    Berthe Morisot thus displays here her own style of painting, prints her paw while defining the notion of impressionism: To grasp the ephemeral and the everyday

    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 12-07-2018 21:39


    Réponse : Description/ oeuvre de here4u, postée le 13-07-2018 à 17:48:53 (S | E)
    hello!

    Le temps de la description est le présent en -ing.

    DESCRIPTION OF THE WORK (La chasse aux papillons by Berthe Morisot)
    We are witnessing a butterfly hunt on a summer afternoon.
    In the foreground, in the center of the painting, a young woman in a white dress looks (présent en ing) at the painter.
    She holds (ing) in her hands a net (ordre des mots = sujet verbe, compléments - le premier est le COD) to catch butterflies.
    The handle (stick) of the butterfly net forms (ing) a line of force in (a diagonal dynamism in a canvas (which is) otherwise quiet.(static?)
    The young woman, the little girl in a black dress and the trees form (ing) vertical vanishing lines.

    The face of the young woman( un cas possessif serait mieux ici!) has an enigmatic air.
    His(??? Si c'est celui de la femme, le pronom est inexact.) very discreet but nevertheless mischievous smile suggests a return to childhood.
    The young woman is the point of fixation (? the focus?) of the painting, attracting the attention of the spectator while keeping a timid and reserved attitude.
    The black hat of the young woman(idem pour cas possessif) seems to be a halo.

    In the background, on (his= wrong pronoun) right and next to the tree (stands a little girl.(S V - present en ing- COD.)
    She seems to be staring at her mother with admiration.
    His(idem) clothes are the exact opposite of those worn by his(idem) mother.
    White dress and black hat for the mother, black dress and white hat for the little girl.(Ceci n'est pas une phrase ... )

    Her sister, a blond little creature is crouching at the back like a chrysalis, picking something and adopting a charming and naive attitude like children's.
    SUIVRE L'ordre ... (=2- The depth is suggested) (= 1- in this painting) (=3 by a shades of green that (become = présent en ing) darker and darker as the viewer approaches, thus suggesting the closed and shaded space of a clearing.
    The play of lights( light effect) is also a part(icipative of this impression: the zones are thus delimited by soft transitions characteristic of the impressionist style.
    The young woman seems to be protected by greenery.

    On the other hand, the chromatic scale is very small, non-white and black as well as brown and green are the unique creators of the sensation of sweetness.
    This aspect of softness is supported by the blu(r lines; the contours shaded(are shading) the painting in little indistinct touches.
    The colors (tend= are +Ving) towards the warm tones expressing (the) soothing and (the) And yet the light shawl folded over the shoulders (is forming a bow tie.
    The young woman seems to insinuate (imply?) that she is herself a butterfly with fragile wings
    Since then, (be more explicit! avec un verbe...: we may Wonder ...who hunts, what is hunted?
    Would not it be the three characters
    The real butterfly hunter is actually other than Berthe Morisot who capture(s= captured here ) these fragile women, real delicate and powdery creatures in full flight.
    Berthe Morisot thus display(s here her own style of painting, prin(ts her paw (= non! Lien internet
    while defining the notion of impressionism: To grasp(ing the ephemeral and the (everyday = daily routine?

    Ceci n'est pas uniquement une description ... Il y a de l'interprétation personnelle => aussi du commentaire.



    Réponse : Description/ oeuvre de jane37, postée le 13-07-2018 à 21:11:17 (S | E)


    Bonsoir ;Merci beaucoup pour cette correction, je n'avais pas du tout penser à la forme "ing " ce qui rend cette description beaucoup plus vivante et intéressante
    Je me permets de vous soumettre à nouveau le texte corrigé par rapport à vos remarques et suggestions
    EN souhaitant avoir amélioré cette description et interprétation de cette œuvre ..MERCI BEAUCOUP !

    DESCRIPTION OF THE WORK (La chasse aux papillons by Berthe Morisot)
    We are witnessing a butterfly hunt on a summer afternoon.
    In the foreground, in the center of the painting, a young woman in a white dress is looking at the painter.
    She is holding in her hands a net to catch butterflies.
    The handle of the butterfly net is forming a line of force in a diagonal dynamism in a canvas which is otherwise quiet. (static?)(j’hésite encore)
    The young woman, the little girl in a black dress and the trees are forming vertical vanishing lines.

    the young woman’s face has an enigmatic air.
    Her very discreet but nevertheless mischievous smile suggests a return to childhood.
    The young woman is the focus of the painting, attracting the attention of the spectator while keeping a timid and reserved attitude.
    The young woman’s black hat seems to be a halo.
    In the background, on her right and next to the tree is standing a little girl
    She seems to be staring at her mother with admiration.
    Her clothes are the exact opposite of those worn by her mother.
    White dress and black hat are wearing the mother, black dress and white hat are wearing the little girl (ing pour cette description ???)
    Her sister, a blond little creature is crouching at the back like a chrysalis, picking something and adopting a charming and naive attitude like children's.
    In this painting, the depth is suggested by a shades of green that are becoming darker and darker as the viewer approaches, thus suggesting the closed and shaded space of a clearing.
    The light effect is also a participative of this impression: the zones are thus delimited by soft transitions characteristic of the impressionist style.
    The young woman seems to be protected by greenery.

    On the other hand, the chromatic scale is very small, non-white and black as well as brown and green are the unique creators of the sensation of sweetness.
    This aspect of softness is supported by the blur lines; the contours are shading the painting in little indistinct touches.
    The colors are tending towards the warm tones expressing soothing and freshness
    Finally, where are the butterflies? We cannot distinguish any…Paradox
    And yet the light shawl folded over the shoulders is forming a bow tie.
    The young woman seems to imply that she is herself a butterfly with fragile wings
    since then, we may Wonder ...who hunts, what is hunted?
    Would not it be the three characters.
    The real butterfly hunter is actually other than Berthe Morisot who captured these fragile women, real delicate and powdery creatures in full flight.
    Berthe Morisot thus displays here her own style of painting, prints her mark while defining the notion of impressionism: is grasping the ephemeral and the daily routine?




    Réponse : Description/ oeuvre de here4u, postée le 13-07-2018 à 21:31:32 (S | E)
    Hello!


    DESCRIPTION OF THE WORK (La chasse aux papillons by Berthe Morisot)
    We are witnessing a butterfly hunt on a summer afternoon.
    In the foreground, in the center of the painting, a young woman in a white dress is looking at the painter.
    She is holding in her hands(mal placé!) a net to catch butterflies.
    The handle of the butterfly net is forming a line of force in a diagonal dynamism in a canvas which is otherwise quiet. (static?)(j’hésite encore)
    The young woman, the little girl in a black dress and the trees are forming vertical vanishing lines.

    the young woman’s face has an enigmatic air.
    Her very discreet but nevertheless mischievous smile suggests a return to childhood.
    The young woman is the focus of the painting, attracting the attention of the spectator while keeping a timid and reserved attitude.
    The young woman’s black hat seems to be a halo.
    In the background, on her right and next to the tree is standing a little girl pas d'inversion du sujet !)
    She seems to be staring at her mother with admiration.(sounds strange... there's a phrasal verb: to look up to somebody= admirer)
    Her clothes are the exact opposite of those worn by her mother: a White dress and black hat are wearing(here, you need a passive!) xx the mother, a black dress and white hat are wearing xx the little girl (ing pour cette description ??? serait possible, mais avec la construction choisie, le passif est parfait; )
    Her sister, a blond little creature is crouching at the back like a chrysalis, picking something and adopting a charming and naive attitude like children's.
    In this painting, the depth is suggested by a= singular, whereas the other elements are in the plural. shades of green that are becoming darker and darker as the viewer approaches, thus suggesting the closed and shaded space of a clearing.
    The light effect is also a participative of this impression: the zones are thus delimited by soft transitions characteristic of the impressionist style.
    The young woman seems to be protected by greenery.

    On the other hand, the chromatic scale is very small, non-white and black as well as brown and green are the unique creators of the sensation of sweetness.
    This aspect of softness is supported by the blur lines; the contours are shading the painting in little indistinct touches.
    The colors are tending towards the warm tones expressing soothing and freshness
    Finally, where are the butterflies? We cannot distinguish any… It's a Paradox
    And yet the light shawl folded over the shoulders is forming a bow tie.
    The young woman seems to imply that she is herself a butterfly with fragile wings
    since then, we may Wonder ...who hunts( ing), what is hunted?
    Would not it = there(pas certaine que "would" est vraiment ce que vous voulez exprimer ...) be the three characters.
    The real butterfly hunter is actually other than Berthe Morisot who captured these fragile women, real delicate and powdery creatures in full flight.
    Berthe Morisot thus displays here her own style of painting, prints her mark while defining the notion of impressionism: is grasping the ephemeral and the daily routine?







    Réponse : Description/ oeuvre de jane37, postée le 13-07-2018 à 22:11:01 (S | E)
    Encore quelques doutes
    DESCRIPTION OF THE WORK (La chasse aux papillons by Berthe Morisot)
    We are witnessing a butterfly hunt on a summer afternoon.
    In the foreground, in the center of the painting, a young woman in a white dress is looking at the painter.
    She is holding a net to catch butterflies.(Je prend l’option d’enlever “in her hands “cela me semble superflu ‘what do you think about that ?
    The handle of the butterfly net is forming a line of force in a diagonal dynamism in a canvas which is otherwise quiet. (static?)(j’hésite encore)
    The young woman, the little girl in a black dress and the trees are forming vertical vanishing lines.
    the young woman’s face has an enigmatic air.
    Her very discreet but nevertheless mischievous smile suggests a return to childhood.
    The young woman is the focus of the painting, attracting the attention of the spectator while keeping a timid and reserved attitude.

    The young woman’s black hat seems to be a halo.
    In the background, on her right and next to the tree a little girl is standing
    She seems to look up her mother with admiration.
    Her clothes are the exact opposite of those which are worn by her mother:
    a White dress and black hat which are worn by the mother, a black dress and white hat which are worn by the little girl .(j’ai encore beaucoup de doutes pour cette phrase !)
    Her sister, a blond little creature is crouching at the back like a chrysalis, picking something and adopting a charming and naive attitude like children's.
    In this painting, the depth is suggested by shades of green that are becoming darker and darker as the viewer approaches, thus suggesting the closed and shaded space of a clearing.
    The light effect is also a participative of this impression: the zones are thus delimited by soft transitions characteristic of the impressionist style.
    The young woman seems to be protected by greenery.

    On the other hand, the chromatic scale is very small, non-white and black as well as brown and green are the unique creators of the sensation of sweetness.
    This aspect of softness is supported by the blur lines; the contours are shading the painting in little indistinct touches.
    The colors are tending towards the warm tones expressing soothing and freshness
    Finally, where are the butterflies? We cannot distinguish any… It's a Paradox
    And yet the light shawl folded over the shoulders is forming a bow tie.
    The young woman seems to imply that she is herself a butterfly with fragile wings
    since then, we may Wonder ...who are hunting ? what is hunted?
    it is not certain that it is the three characters.
    The real butterfly hunter is actually other than Berthe Morisot who captured these fragile women, real delicate and powdery creatures in full flight.
    Berthe Morisot thus displays here her own style of painting, prints her mark while defining the notion of impressionism: is grasping the ephemeral and the daily routine?





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