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    Correction/Chloé

    Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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    Correction/Chloé
    Message de fannyb posté le 18-04-2019 à 13:31:56 (S | E | F)
    Bonjour
    je dois faire un yearbook sur mon amie Chloé.
    Pouvez-vous le corriger s'il vous plait?
    Merci pour vos réponses.


    Chloé is fourteen years old and she is in 10th grade, She has one sister Annaelle. She can’t get enough of Tennis, she is a huge fan of Harry Potter, she has a figurine pop of Harry Potter . But she can’t stand mushrooms and heavy metal
    Her favourine place at school is schoolyard, because in schoolyard she can laugh with her friends .
    Furthermore she is into American series, particularly “ ma famille d’abord " and " Malcolm "
    She is special because she is very flexible
    Chloé is the kindest person on the class, but the class thinks she is so mean and she let others walk all over her
    For her achievements, she won silver trophy in ski
    And She had a better grades at school because she worked more
    Her favorite class is Art because she like drawing . In the future she would like to be an illustrator
    On the other hand, If she were an animal she’ll be a monkey because he is clever
    Finally Chloe is is sporty, reliable and very kind

    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 18-04-2019 14:11


    Réponse : Correction/Chloé de gerondif, postée le 18-04-2019 à 16:26:54 (S | E)
    Bonjour
    Chloé is fourteen years old and she is in 10th grade, She has one sister Annaelle. She can’t get enough of Tennis (sans majuscule), she is a huge fan of Harry Potter, she has a figurine pop of Harry Potter . But she can’t stand mushrooms and heavy metal.
    Her favourine place at school is the schoolyard /playground, because in the schoolyard she can laugh with her friends .
    Furthermore she is into American series, particularly “ ma famille d’abord " and " Malcolm "
    She is special because she is very flexible
    Chloé is the kindest person on the in class, but the class thinks she is so(plutôt very) mean and she let(le s du présent simple) others walk all over her.
    For her achievements, she won silver trophy in ski/ at skiing
    And She had a(à ôter) better grades at school because she worked more (mettez la phrase au présent simple)
    Her favorite class is Art because she like(le S!!) drawing . In the future she would like to be an illustrator.
    On the other hand, If she were an animal she’ll(conditionnel, pas futur !) be a monkey because he is clever
    Finally Chloe is is sporty, reliable and very kind.
    Mettez des points en fin de phrase.




    Réponse : Correction/Chloé de lemagemasque, postée le 18-04-2019 à 16:27:44 (S | E)
    Hello!

    Chloé is fourteen years old and she is in 10th grade, She has one sister (dont le nom est) Annaelle. She can’t get enough of Tennis, (pas la même phrase) because... she is a huge fan of Harry Potter, she has (même) a figurine pop (nom propre) of Harry Potter . But she can’t stand mushrooms and heavy metal
    Her favo(u)rine (j'enlèverais le -u- car vous écrivez en anglais américain) place at school is schoolyard, because, in schoolyard, she can laugh with her friends .
    Furthermore she is into American series, particularly (bof...) “ ma famille d’abord " and " Malcolm " (ce ne sont pas les titres originaux (pour les deux))
    She is special because she is very flexible (bof... attentionnée peut-être ?)
    Chloé is the kindest person on the class, but the class (répétition --> they) thinks she is so mean and she letX X (manque l'article) others walk all over her
    For (about, concerning (fait un peu formel dans votre texte cependant), as for) her achievements, she won X (manque l'article : "elle a gagné trophée d'argent" ?) silver trophy in skiing (comme en français, on dit en natation (activité), en ski...)
    And (changez le mot de liaison) She had (mauvais temps) a (une notes meilleures ??) better grades at school because she worked more
    Her favorite class is Art because she likeX drawing. In the future she would like to be an illustrator
    On the other hand, If she were an animal she’ll (si elle était un animal, elle sera ?) be a monkey because he (pas une personne, ni un être anthropomorphe ou personnifié) is clever
    Finally Chloe is is sporty (sporty = sportif effectivement, mais on ne le dit pas en anglais, on dit "aime le sport" (fond of sports)), reliable and very kind (déjà dit)

    Variez les mots de liaison et attention à la ponctuation.

    Bonne journée !



    Réponse : Correction/Chloé de fannyb, postée le 18-04-2019 à 19:22:38 (S | E)
    Merci beaucoup j’ai corrigé mais j’ai encore quelques doutes

    Chloé is fourteen years old and she is in 10th grade, she has one sister, her name is Annaelle. She can’t get enough of tennis because it’s her passion. Moreover she is a huge fan of Harry Potter, she has (même ) very/ even ?? a figurine Pop of Harry Potter . But she can’t stand mushrooms and heavy metal
    Her favorite place at school is the schoolyard, because, in the schoolyard, she can laugh with her friends .
    Furthermore she is into American series, especially (est ce meilleur ?) “ my wife and kids" and " Malcolm in the middle "
    In addition, she is special because she is very flexible (je veux dire souple )
    Chloé is the kindest person in the class, but they thinks she is very mean and she lets the others walk all over her
    Concerning her achievements, she won a silver trophy in skiing Also, She has better grades at school because she works more
    Her favorite class is Art because she likes drawing. In the future she would like to be an illustrator
    On the other hand, if she were an animal she’d be a monkey because it is clever
    Finally Chloe is fond of sports, reliable and very sociable



    Réponse : Correction/Chloé de fannyb, postée le 18-04-2019 à 19:48:17 (S | E)
    Merci beaucoup j’ai corrigé mais j’ai encore quelques doutes

    Chloé is fourteen years old and she is in 10th grade, she has one sister, her name is Annaelle. She can’t get enough of tennis because it’s her passion. Moreover she is a huge fan of Harry Potter, she has (même ) very/ even ?? a figurine Pop of Harry Potter . But she can’t stand mushrooms and heavy metal
    Her favorite place at school is the schoolyard, because, in the schoolyard, she can laugh with her friends .
    Furthermore she is into American series, especially (est ce meilleur ?) “ my wife and kids" and " Malcolm in the middle "
    In addition, she is special because she is very flexible (je veux dire souple )
    Chloé is the kindest person in the class, but they thinks she is very mean and she lets the others walk all over her
    Concerning her achievements, she won a silver trophy in skiing Also, She has better grades at school because she works more
    Her favorite class is Art because she likes drawing. In the future she would like to be an illustrator
    On the other hand, if she were an animal she’d be a monkey because it is clever
    Finally Chloe is fond of sports, reliable and very sociable



    Réponse : Correction/Chloé de lemagemasque, postée le 18-04-2019 à 20:32:53 (S | E)
    Chloé is fourteen years old and she is in 10th grade. She has one sister, whose (1) (= dont) name is Annaelle. She can’t get enough of tennis because it’s her passion. Moreover she is a huge fan of Harry Potter, she has (même) very/ even (2) a figurine Pop of Harry Potter . But/Yet she can’t stand mushrooms and heavy metal
    Her favorite place at school is the schoolyard, because, in the schoolyard, she can laugh with her friends .
    Furthermore she is into American series, especially (est ce meilleur mieux ? oui ) “ my wife and kids" and " Malcolm in the middle " (attention aux majuscules)
    In addition, she is special because/since she is very flexible (je veux dire souple )
    Chloé is the kindest person in the class, but they thinks she is very mean and she lets the others walk all over her
    Concerning her achievements, she won a silver trophy in skiing. Also, She has better grades at school because she works more
    Her favorite class is Art because she likes drawing. In the future she would like to be an illustrator
    On the other hand, if she were an animal she’d be a monkey because it is (very) clever
    Finally Chloe is fond of sports, reliable and very sociable

    (1) : Former le dont (personne, animal ou objet)
    - dont, complément du nom (= je peux enlever la proposition introduite par "dont" sans que la phrase soit bancale : La fille est...) : whose + nom La fille, dont la jupe est bleue, est... The girl, whose skirt (whose est l'article) is blue, is... Le chien, dont les oreilles sont pendantes, est... The dog, whose ears are floppy, is...

    - dont, complément du verbe (= je peux réagencer la phrase : Je parle de la fille qui est rousse) : cela dépend de la construction du verbe (souvent of, about, in) La fille dont je parle est rousse. The girl I'm talking about is ginger. (to talk ABOUT sb/sth)

    - composés de dont : dont la plupart (most of which (= objet ou animal)/most of whom (= personne)), dont les deux/trois sont (the two of whom/which), dont certains sont (some of whom/which)... Les filles, dont la plupart sont blondes, n'ont pas emporté leur sac à main. The girls, most of whom are blonde, have not taken their handbags

    Un cours plus complet : Lien internet


    (2) : Traduire même
    - Ce matin même : that very(= adjectif) morning
    - Elle n'est même pas venue : She hasn't even come
    - Il a le même T-shirt que moi : He's got the same T-shirt as I (have)



    Réponse : Correction/Chloé de fannyb, postée le 18-04-2019 à 20:39:28 (S | E)
    Merci beaucoup

    C’est très sympathique de m’avoir fait un mini cours sur whose



    Réponse : Correction/Chloé de fannyb, postée le 18-04-2019 à 20:54:08 (S | E)
    Remarquez vous d’autres erreurs ?



    Réponse : Correction/Chloé de lemagemasque, postée le 18-04-2019 à 21:00:32 (S | E)
    En plus de celles citées, non.
    Je pense que vous n'êtes pas obligée de nous renvoyer une nouvelle monture corrigée.
    Attention à la ponctuation cependant !

    Bonne soirée !




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