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Message de mamadu27 posté le 25-04-2019 à 16:39:00 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
je suis en Terminale et c'est bientôt l'oral pour moi, j'aimerais si possible que l'on corrige mon texte s'il vous plait.
Merci d'avance.
I'm going to talk about the notion of “Myths and heroes”. First I will give a definition of heroe and a definition of a myth in my opinion. So for me, hero is a person who is admired for their courage or noble qualities. It can be the main character in a book or a film or a person with superhuman qualities. It can also be a person who has performed a heroic act or simply our own personal hero, our role model, who we look up to. And for a myth it's an old story, often about gods, heroes and magic. It also represents the traditions and popular beliefs that represent the ideals and institutions of society. Sometimes a myth also refers to a rumor or unfounded information.
So we may request in what the american dream is a myth ?
first we'll see what we think of the American dream and then we'll see what it really is.
In one part, the American dream is the belief that anyone, regardless of where they're born into what class, can attain their own version of success. It's not achieved by chance, but rather through sacrifice, risk and hard work. Native-born Americans as well as immigrants, can pursue the dream. That's unlike other political and economic system such as communist dictatorships. In the American Dream, upward mobility is possible for anyone and america's free entreprise system facilitates the circumstances, as they let people fulfill more than just their basic needs. The most cited example of attaining the American Dream is home ownership, the ability to control a piece of land instead of being subject to whims of a landlord. It symbolizes financial success and independence. Other examples are being able to own a business or being your own boss. The American Dream requires political and economic freedom and it offers the chance to make both large and small decisions that affect one's life. The tenets of the American dream are written in the Declaration of Independence.
But in another part, in reallity there are been three waves of immigration. The immigrants want fled poverty and persecution in own country but when arrived in United States many of them are dissapointed with what they discover. Life is not always easy and the American society is organised in such a way that the American dreams to be reserved to only a few people. Furthermore, the difficulty is even harder for illegal immigrants when they manage to enter the United States, they are trapped because once they are in, they cannot go back to their natives lands even for a holiday. Indeed, if they get caught at the border, they are arrested and sent back for good. Besides, they have to work very hard to make a living and once they have started making more money than their native lands, they become trapped by the consumer society because their relatives expect them to send more and more money. In fact, they become prisoners of a system on both sides of the border and the dream is more a nigthmare than a dream.
To conclude, the American dream is just a myth because the immigrants who went in a USA live in horrible conditions despite what is said about the American dream. So the American Dream to be reserved to only few people and not for the immigrants people.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 25-04-2019 17:12
Message de mamadu27 posté le 25-04-2019 à 16:39:00 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
je suis en Terminale et c'est bientôt l'oral pour moi, j'aimerais si possible que l'on corrige mon texte s'il vous plait.
Merci d'avance.
I'm going to talk about the notion of “Myths and heroes”. First I will give a definition of heroe and a definition of a myth in my opinion. So for me, hero is a person who is admired for their courage or noble qualities. It can be the main character in a book or a film or a person with superhuman qualities. It can also be a person who has performed a heroic act or simply our own personal hero, our role model, who we look up to. And for a myth it's an old story, often about gods, heroes and magic. It also represents the traditions and popular beliefs that represent the ideals and institutions of society. Sometimes a myth also refers to a rumor or unfounded information.
So we may request in what the american dream is a myth ?
first we'll see what we think of the American dream and then we'll see what it really is.
In one part, the American dream is the belief that anyone, regardless of where they're born into what class, can attain their own version of success. It's not achieved by chance, but rather through sacrifice, risk and hard work. Native-born Americans as well as immigrants, can pursue the dream. That's unlike other political and economic system such as communist dictatorships. In the American Dream, upward mobility is possible for anyone and america's free entreprise system facilitates the circumstances, as they let people fulfill more than just their basic needs. The most cited example of attaining the American Dream is home ownership, the ability to control a piece of land instead of being subject to whims of a landlord. It symbolizes financial success and independence. Other examples are being able to own a business or being your own boss. The American Dream requires political and economic freedom and it offers the chance to make both large and small decisions that affect one's life. The tenets of the American dream are written in the Declaration of Independence.
But in another part, in reallity there are been three waves of immigration. The immigrants want fled poverty and persecution in own country but when arrived in United States many of them are dissapointed with what they discover. Life is not always easy and the American society is organised in such a way that the American dreams to be reserved to only a few people. Furthermore, the difficulty is even harder for illegal immigrants when they manage to enter the United States, they are trapped because once they are in, they cannot go back to their natives lands even for a holiday. Indeed, if they get caught at the border, they are arrested and sent back for good. Besides, they have to work very hard to make a living and once they have started making more money than their native lands, they become trapped by the consumer society because their relatives expect them to send more and more money. In fact, they become prisoners of a system on both sides of the border and the dream is more a nigthmare than a dream.
To conclude, the American dream is just a myth because the immigrants who went in a USA live in horrible conditions despite what is said about the American dream. So the American Dream to be reserved to only few people and not for the immigrants people.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 25-04-2019 17:12
Réponse : Notion/Mythes et héros de gerondif, postée le 26-04-2019 à 10:46:53 (S | E)
Bonjour
Quand je lis votre texte, je vois bien le collage de paragraphes rédigés en cours et remis ici, les quelques liens que vous y mettez étant plus hésitants. Pensez quand même qu'il ne suffira pas de réciter par cœur un anglais qui n'est pas le vôtre et qu'il faudra un peu tenir la route dans l'entretien qui suivra.
erreurs en bleu:
I'm going to talk about the notion of “Myths and heroes”. First I will give a definition of heroe ( a hero) and a definition of a myth in my opinion. So for me, a hero is a person who is admired for their courage or noble qualities. It can be the main character in a book or a film or a person with superhuman qualities. It can also be a person who has performed a heroic act or simply our own personal hero, our role model, who we look up to. And as for a myth it's an old story, often about gods, heroes and magic. It also represents the traditions and popular beliefs that represent the ideals and institutions of society. Sometimes a myth also refers to a rumor or unfounded information.
So we may request(mauvais choix de verbe) in what(maladroit) the american dream is a myth ?
first we'll see what we think(plutôt what people think) of the American dream and then we'll see what it really is.
In one part,(ne se dit pas) the American dream is the belief that anyone, regardless of where they're born into what class, can attain their own version of success. It's not achieved by chance, but rather through sacrifice, risk and hard work. Native-born Americans as well as immigrants, can pursue the dream. That's unlike other political and economic system such as communist dictatorships. In the American Dream, upward mobility is possible for anyone and america's free entreprise system facilitates the circumstances, as they let people fulfill more than just their basic needs. The most cited example of attaining the American Dream is home ownership, the ability to control a piece of land instead of being subject to whims of a landlord. It symbolizes financial success and independence. Other examples are being able to own a business or being your own boss. The American Dream requires political and economic freedom and it offers the chance to make both large and small decisions that affect one's life. The tenets of the American dream are written in the Declaration of Independence.(rien à dire sur ce paragraphe tout fait)
But in another part,(ne se dit pas) in reallity there are been(conjugaison mal faite, auxiliaire avoir) three waves of immigration. The immigrants want fled(le verbe fuir doit être à l'infinitif) poverty and persecution in their own country but when arrived(mettez un sujet et le verbe au présent) in the United States, many of them are dissapointed with what they discover. Life is not always easy and the American society is organised in such a way that the American dreams to be(à conjuguer au présent) reserved to only a few people. Furthermore, the difficulty is even harder (mal dit une difficulté est forcément dure, on ne voit pas de difficulté facile) for illegal immigrants when they manage to enter the United States, they are trapped because once they are in, they cannot go back to their natives lands even for a holiday. Indeed, if they get caught at the border, they are arrested and sent back for good. Besides, they have to work very hard to make a living and once they have started making more money than in their native lands (countries), they become trapped by the consumer society because their relatives expect them to send more and more money. In fact, they become prisoners of a system on both sides of the border and the dream is more a nigthmare than a dream.
To conclude, the American dream is just a myth because the immigrants who went in a to the USA (il est temps d'apprendre que c'est un nom pluriel) live in horrible conditions despite what is said about the American dream. So the American Dream to be(à conjuguer au présent) reserved to only few people and not for the immigrants(adjectif invariable) people.
Réponse : Notion/Mythes et héros de mamadu27, postée le 28-04-2019 à 13:08:28 (S | E)
Merci, effectivement je me suis beaucoup aidé du cours, car mon niveau d'anglais n'est pas terrible et j'aimerais avoir au moins un maximum de points sur la partie ou je dois parler pendant 5min, voici ma correction
I'm going to talk about the notion of “Myths and heroes”. First I will give a definition of hero and a definition of a myth in my opinion. So for me, a hero is a person who is admired for their courage or noble qualities. It can be the main character in a book or a film or a person with superhuman qualities. It can also be a person who has performed a heroic act or simply our own personal hero, our role model, who we look up to. And as for a myth it's an old story, often about gods, heroes and magic. It also represents the traditions and popular beliefs that represent the ideals and institutions of society. Sometimes a myth also refers to a rumor or unfounded information.
So we may wonder how the american dream is a myth ?
first we'll see what people think(plutôt what people think) of the American dream and then we'll see what it really is.
Firstly, the American dream is the belief that anyone, regardless of where they're born into what class, can attain their own version of success. It's not achieved by chance, but rather through sacrifice, risk and hard work. Native-born Americans as well as immigrants, can pursue the dream. That's unlike other political and economic system such as communist dictatorships. In the American Dream, upward mobility is possible for anyone and america's free entreprise system facilitates the circumstances, as they let people fulfill more than just their basic needs. The most cited example of attaining the American Dream is home ownership, the ability to control a piece of land instead of being subject to whims of a landlord. It symbolizes financial success and independence. Other examples are being able to own a business or being your own boss. The American Dream requires political and economic freedom and it offers the chance to make both large and small decisions that affect one's life. The tenets of the American dream are written in the Declaration of Independence.
However, in reality there were three waves of immigration. The immigrants want flee poverty and persecution in their own country but when the immigrants arrive in the United States, many of them are dissapointed with what they discover. Life is not always easy and the American society is organised in such a way that the American dreams to is reserved to only a few people. Furthermore, when the illegal immigrants manage to enter the United States, they are trapped because once they are in, they cannot go back to their native lands even for a holiday. Indeed, if they get caught at the border, they are arrested and sent back for good. Besides, they have to work very hard to make a living and once they have started making more money than in their native lands, they become trapped by the consumer society because their relatives expect them to send more and more money. In fact, they become prisoners of a system on both sides of the border and the dream is more a nigthmare than a dream.
To conclude, the American dream is just a myth because the immigrant who went in a United States live in horrible conditions despite what is said about the American dream. So the American Dream is reserved to only few people and not for the immigrant people.
Réponse : Notion/Mythes et héros de gerondif, postée le 28-04-2019 à 23:47:18 (S | E)
Bonjour erreurs en bleu
I'm going to talk about the notion of “Myths and heroes”. First I will give a definition of a hero and a definition of a myth in my opinion. So for me, a hero is a person who is admired for their courage or noble qualities. It can be the main character in a book or a film or a person with superhuman qualities. It can also be a person who has performed a heroic act or simply our own personal hero, our role model, who we look up to. And as for a myth it's an old story, often about gods, heroes and magic. It also represents the traditions and popular beliefs that represent the ideals and institutions of society. Sometimes a myth also refers to a rumor or unfounded information.
So we may wonder how (to what extent) the American dream is a myth ?
first we'll see what people think of the American dream and then we'll see what it really is.
Firstly, the American dream is the belief that anyone, regardless of where they're((prétérit) born into what class, can attain their own version of success. It's not achieved by chance, but rather through sacrifice, risk and hard work. Native-born Americans as well as immigrants, can pursue the dream. That's unlike other political and economic system such as communist dictatorships. In the American Dream, upward mobility is possible for anyone and America's free entreprise system facilitates the circumstances, as they let people fulfill more than just their basic needs. The most cited example of attaining the American Dream is home ownership, the ability to control a piece of land instead of being subject to whims of a landlord. It symbolizes financial success and independence. Other examples are being able to own a business or being your own boss. The American Dream requires political and economic freedom and it offers the chance to make both large and small decisions that affect one's life. The tenets of the American dream are written in the Declaration of Independence.
However, in reality there were three waves of immigration. The immigrants want to flee poverty and persecution in their own country but when the immigrants arrive in the United States, many of them are dissapointed with what they discover. Life is not always easy and the American society is organised in such a way that the American dreams to(à ôter) is reserved to only a few people. Furthermore, when the illegal immigrants manage to enter the United States, they are trapped because once they are in, they cannot go back to their native lands even for a holiday. Indeed, if they get caught at the border, they are arrested and sent back for good. Besides, they have to work very hard to make a living and once they have started making more money than in their native lands, they become trapped by the consumer society because their relatives expect them to send more and more money. In fact, they become prisoners of a system on both sides of the border and the dream is more a nigthmare than a dream.
To conclude, the American dream is just a myth because the immigrants who went in a to the United States live in horrible conditions despite what is said about the American dream. So the American Dream is reserved to only(à mettre derrière people) few people and not for the immigrant people.
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