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    Expression écrite/correction

    Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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    Expression écrite/correction
    Message de fannyb posté le 09-06-2019 à 23:25:00 (S | E | F)
    Bonjour,
    je dois créer un dialogue entre une personne qui est harcelée à l’école et une autre personne qui lui donnerait des conseils.
    Merci de m’informer si vous remarquez des erreurs .
    Le personnage A est Brian (celui qui donne des conseils) et le personnage B est Lucie ( celle qui est harcelée).

    A- Hey Lucie how are you ?
    B- Hey Brian... oh, I feel so so...
    A- Why ? Tell me what’s your problem ?
    B- It’s at school...
    A- What happened at school ?
    B- Well, the girls ridicule me at school, they talk me names, they hit me, they get my lunch pack, I can’t stop crying !
    A- How long they do that ?
    B- Two months.
    A- Two months ! Lucie, why you didn’t tell me that before ?
    B -Because they threatened me, I shouldn’t say anything.
    A- Oh it’s very serious ! You don’t accept that, or you will regret it later !
    B- Yes, you agree, but what can I do ?
    A- As far as I’m concerned, you’d better not keep silent because you must never let it go. I think too that you must talk to a headmaster ! Denounce the bullies ! Tell it to the police, they represent justice.
    B - Yes, Yes ! You agree, you have opened my eyes. I can’t go on this way anymore! I will react, I will report them !
    A - That’s it, hang in there and dénonce those bullies.
    B - Thank you Brian, you have comforted me.
    A - Oh you’re welcome, take care of yourself, bye !
    B- Bye .

    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 09-06-2019 23:33


    Réponse : Expression écrite/correction de gerondif, postée le 10-06-2019 à 00:08:00 (S | E)
    Bonsoir
    erreurs en bleu
    A- Hey Lucie how are you ?
    B- Hey Brian... oh, I feel so so...
    A- Why ? Tell me what’s your problem ? soit What's your problem ? au style direct, soit tell me what your problem is au style indirect.
    B- It’s at school...
    A- What happened at school ?
    B- Well, the girls ridicule me at school, they talk(verbe appeler) me names, they hit me, they get my lunch pack, I can’t stop crying !
    A- How long they do that(présent perfect en ing enforme interrogative avec inversion donc auxiliaire sujet verbe) ?
    B- For Two months.(for au sens de depuis)
    A- Two months ! Lucie, why you didn’t tell me that before ? (inversion en forme interrogative)
    B -Because they threatened me, (ici, rajoutez elles m'ont dit que)I shouldn’t say anything.
    A- Oh it’s very serious ! You don’t(mettez plutôt un auxiliaire devoir en forme négative) accept that, or you will regret it later !
    B- Yes, you(JE suis d'accord, erreur de sujet) agree, but what can I do ?
    A- As far as I’m concerned, you’d better not keep silent because you must never let it go. I think too that you must talk to a(pourquoi un principal, plutôt le principal) headmaster ! Denounce the bullies ! Tell it to the police, they represent justice.
    B - Yes, Yes ! You agree,(vous devez confondre je suis d'accord avec you are right, tu as raison) you have opened my eyes. I can’t go on this way anymore! I will react, I will report them !
    A - That’s it, hang in there and dénonce those bullies.
    B - Thank you Brian, you have comforted me.
    A - Oh you’re welcome, take care of yourself, bye !
    B- Bye .



    Réponse : Expression écrite/correction de fannyb, postée le 10-06-2019 à 21:04:51 (S | E)
    Bonsoir

    A- Hey Lucie how are you ?
    B- Hey Brian... oh, I feel so so...
    A- Why ? Tell me what your problem is ?
    B- It’s at school...
    A- What happened at school ?
    B- Well, the girls ridicule me at school, they call me names, they hit me, they get my lunch pack, I can’t stop crying !
    A- How long do they doing that ?
    B- For two months.
    A- Two months ! Lucie, why didn’t you tell me that before ?
    B -Because they threatened me, they told me that I shouldn’t say anything.
    A- Oh it’s very serious ! You should’nt accept that, or you will regret it later !
    B- Yes, I agree, but what can I do ?
    A- As far as I’m concerned, you’d better not keep silent because you must never let it go. I think too that you must talk to the headmaster ! Denounce the bullies ! Tell it to the police, they represent justice.
    B - Yes, Yes ! You are right, you have opened my eyes. I can’t go on this way anymore! I will react, I will report them !
    A - That’s it, hang in there and denonce those bullies.
    B - Thank you Brian, you have comforted me.
    A - Oh you’re welcome, take care of yourself, bye !
    B- Bye .



    Réponse : Expression écrite/correction de fannyb, postée le 11-06-2019 à 18:37:35 (S | E)
    Ai-je bien corrigé ?



    Réponse : Expression écrite/correction de here4u, postée le 12-06-2019 à 10:18:30 (S | E)
    Hello!

    Vos corrections doivent être en vert ! Le Bleu indique des fautes !

    A- Hey Lucie how are you ?
    B- Hey Brian... oh, I feel so so...
    A- Why ? Tell me what your problem is ?(pas de point d'interrogation avec une interrogative indirecte !)
    B- It’s at school...
    A- What happened at school ?
    B- Well, the girls ridicule me at school, they call me names, they hit me, they get my lunch pack, I can’t stop crying !
    A- How long do they doing that ?(un present perfect = auxiliaire "have"+ been doing)
    B- For two months.
    A- Two months ! Lucie, why didn’t you tell me that before ?
    B -Because they threatened me, they told me that I shouldn’t say anything.
    A- Oh it’s very serious ! You should’nt accept that, or you will regret it later !(should donne un conseil. gerondif aurait voulu un "devoir" !)
    B- Yes, I agree, but what can I do ?
    A- As far as I’m concerned, you’d better not keep silent because you must never let it go. I think too that you must talk to the headmaster ! Denounce the bullies ! Tell it to the police, they represent justice.
    B - Yes, Yes ! You are right, you have opened my eyes. I can’t go on this way anymore! I will react, I will report them !
    A - That’s it, hang in there and denonce those bullies. Lien internet

    B - Thank you Brian, you have comforted me.
    A - Oh you’re welcome, take care of yourself, bye!
    B- Bye .

    Tellement agréable d'avoir des "retours de corrections" !




    Réponse : Expression écrite/correction de fannyb, postée le 12-06-2019 à 21:57:34 (S | E)
    Bonjour

    A- Hey Lucie how are you ?
    B- Hey Brian... oh, I feel so so...
    A- Why ? Tell me what your problem is.
    B- It’s at school...
    A- What happened at school ?
    B- Well, the girls ridicule me at school, they call me names, they hit me, they get my lunch pack, I can’t stop crying !
    A- How long do they have been doing that ?
    B- For two months.
    A- Two months ! Lucie, why didn’t you tell me that before ?
    B -Because they threatened me, they told me that I shouldn’t say anything.
    A- Oh it’s very serious ! You mustn’t accept that, or you will regret it later !
    B- Yes, I agree, but what can I do ?
    A- As far as I’m concerned, you’d better not keep silent because you must never let it go. I think too that you must talk to the headmaster ! Denounce the bullies ! Tell it to the police, they represent justice.
    B - Yes, Yes ! You are right, you have opened my eyes. I can’t go on this way anymore! I will react, I will report them !
    A - That’s it, hang in there and denounce those bullies.

    B - Thank you Brian, you have comforted me.
    A - Oh you’re welcome, take care of yourself, bye!
    B- Bye .



    Réponse : Expression écrite/correction de here4u, postée le 13-06-2019 à 06:27:06 (S | E)
    Hello, Fanny!

    Dans la phrase :
    A- How long do they have been doing that ? vous construisez votre verbe « do » avec deux auxiliaires : « do » et « have » ... Il n’en faut qu’un ... celui du present perfect en ing à la forme interrogative.

    He’s been bullying me for 6 months => How long has he been bullying me ? C’est tout ! ...et c’est facile ! Changez le verbe et la personne ...
    À vous ! ( Bien pour les autres corrections ... Encore quelques petites maladresses qui « passent » !)



    Réponse : Expression écrite/correction de fannyb, postée le 13-06-2019 à 19:56:30 (S | E)
    Bonjour

    A- Hey Lucie how are you ?
    B- Hey Brian... oh, I feel so so...
    A- Why ? Tell me what your problem is.
    B- It’s at school...
    A- What happened at school ?
    B- Well, the girls ridicule me at school, they call me names, they hit me, they get my lunch pack, I can’t stop crying !
    A- How long have they been doing that ?
    B- For two months.
    A- Two months ! Lucie, why didn’t you tell me that before ?
    B -Because they threatened me, they told me that I shouldn’t say anything.
    A- Oh it’s very serious ! You mustn’t accept that, or you will regret it later !
    B- Yes, I agree, but what can I do ?
    A- As far as I’m concerned, you’d better not keep silent because you must never let it go. I think too that you must talk to the headmaster ! Denounce the bullies ! Tell it to the police, they represent justice.
    B - Yes, Yes ! You are right, you have opened my eyes. I can’t go on this way anymore! I will react, I will report them !
    A - That’s it, hang in there and denounce those bullies.
    B - Thank you Brian, you have comforted me.
    A - Oh you’re welcome, take care of yourself, bye!
    B- Bye .



    Réponse : Expression écrite/correction de here4u, postée le 13-06-2019 à 20:30:05 (S | E)




    Réponse : Expression écrite/correction de fannyb, postée le 14-06-2019 à 16:23:32 (S | E)
    Merci beaucoup pour votre aide




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