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Un coup de main pour un oral écrit
Message de a2line12 posté le 01-05-2007 à 22:46:56 (S | E | F | I)
Bonjour à tous
Voilà je présente dans quelques jours un oral d'anglais et dedans je dois parler des stages que j'ai éeffectué.
J'ai donc pour fait un petit texte qui doit être rempli de fautes ! 
Je vous l'ai tapé si quelqu'un peut m'aider ce serait sympa merci 
During the third year of my formation, I completed my third placement in an estate agent's. I began it on the twenty of November two thousand and seven for finished on the twenty two of November two thousand and seven. This training session lasted four weeks. This firm is a small sized firm made up of five estate agent’s, one management assistant and the manager.
During my first week, I met the various staff members. I observed the organisation of the firm. My placement officer explained to me what I would be doing on a daily basis. I carried out various tasks :
- I performed a lot of payment adjustments who have been send to the tenants.
- Sometimes when the assistant was out of the office I was in charge of the reception, I answered the phone to give informations, I wrote a lot of letters who have been send to the tenants
- I realized a study of competitor to situate the firm among the concurrent
Contrary to the other training course I was never alone in this is firm that is to says I couldn’t work in autonomy but there was always somebody who could help me.
This third placement was very interesting, it allowed me to discovered the work of an management assistant (assistante de gestion) in an estate agent’s that I never seen in my other training. I think that I would like to work in this sector in a few year. I was able to put into practise that I have been learning in school. However, I have been disappointed because the director has not given me his trust.
Merci premièrement pour l'avoir lu et deuxièmement pour ne pas se moquer lol et oui j'ai 9 ans d'anglais scolaire dernière moi sa paye bien
Message de a2line12 posté le 01-05-2007 à 22:46:56 (S | E | F | I)
Bonjour à tous
Voilà je présente dans quelques jours un oral d'anglais et dedans je dois parler des stages que j'ai éeffectué.
J'ai donc pour fait un petit texte qui doit être rempli de fautes ! Je vous l'ai tapé si quelqu'un peut m'aider ce serait sympa merci During the third year of my formation, I completed my third placement in an estate agent's. I began it on the twenty of November two thousand and seven for finished on the twenty two of November two thousand and seven. This training session lasted four weeks. This firm is a small sized firm made up of five estate agent’s, one management assistant and the manager.
During my first week, I met the various staff members. I observed the organisation of the firm. My placement officer explained to me what I would be doing on a daily basis. I carried out various tasks :
- I performed a lot of payment adjustments who have been send to the tenants.
- Sometimes when the assistant was out of the office I was in charge of the reception, I answered the phone to give informations, I wrote a lot of letters who have been send to the tenants
- I realized a study of competitor to situate the firm among the concurrent
Contrary to the other training course I was never alone in this is firm that is to says I couldn’t work in autonomy but there was always somebody who could help me.
This third placement was very interesting, it allowed me to discovered the work of an management assistant (assistante de gestion) in an estate agent’s that I never seen in my other training. I think that I would like to work in this sector in a few year. I was able to put into practise that I have been learning in school. However, I have been disappointed because the director has not given me his trust.
Merci premièrement pour l'avoir lu et deuxièmement pour ne pas se moquer lol et oui j'ai 9 ans d'anglais scolaire dernière moi sa paye bien
Réponse: Un coup de main pour un oral écrit de sdtriton, postée le 02-05-2007 à 08:09:27 (S | E)
During the third year of my formation, I completed my third placement in an estate agent's. (<-- désolé mais je ne comprends pas cette phrase - c'est à dire, une agence immobilière?). I began November 20, 2007 (tu as donc commencé dans l'avenir?) to finish November 22, 2007. This training session lasted four weeks. It is a small firm made up of five estate agents, one management assistant, and the manager.
During my first week, I met the various staff members. I observed the organisation of the firm. My placement officer explained to me what I would be doing on a daily basis. I carried out various tasks :
- I performed a lot of payment adjustments that have been sent to the tenants.
- Sometimes when the assistant was out of the office and I was in charge of the reception, I answered the phone to give informations and wrote lot of letters that have been sent to the tenants ( ou plutôt, "wrote a lot of letters to send to the tenants, si , à l'époque, tu n'as pas encore écrit ces lettres)
- I studied the competitors to situate the firm among the competition
Contrary to the other training course I was never alone in this firm. That is to say, I couldn’t work independantly but there was always somebody who could help me.
The third placement was very interesting, it allowed me to discover the work of an management assistant (assistante de gestion) in an estate agent’s (encore, je ne comprends pas "estate agent") that I have never seen in my other training. I think that I would like to work in this sector in a few years. I was able to put into practise what I have been learning in school. However, I have been disappointed because the director has not given me his trust.
-------------------
Modifié par sdtriton le 02-05-2007 08:09
Réponse: Un coup de main pour un oral écrit de a2line12, postée le 02-05-2007 à 08:40:09 (S | E)
re
During the third year of my formation, I completed my third placement in an estate agent's. (oui c'est bien une agence immobilière)I began November 20, 2006 (jE me suis trompée c'était en 2006 !!!) to finish November 22, 2006. This training session lasted four weeks. It is a small firm made up of five estate agents, one management assistant, and the manager.
During my first week, I met the various staff members. I observed the organisation of the firm. My placement officer explained to me what I would be doing on a daily basis. I carried out various tasks :
- I performed a lot of payment adjustments that have been sent to the tenants.
- Sometimes when the assistant was out of the office and I was in charge of the reception, I answered the phone to give informations and wrote lot of letters that have been sent to the tenants ( ou plutôt, "wrote a lot of letters to send to the tenants, si , à l'époque, tu n'as pas encore écrit ces lettres)
- I studied the competitors to situate the firm among the competition
Contrary to the other training course I was never alone in this firm. That is to say, I couldn’t work independantly but there was always somebody who could help me.
The third placement was very interesting, it allowed me to discover the work of an management assistant (assistante de gestion) in an estate agent’s that I have never seen in my other training. I think that I would like to work in this sector in a few years. I was able to put into practise what I have been learning in school. However, I have been disappointed because the director has not given me his trust
Merci à toi d'avoir pri le temps de lire, c'était pas si mauvais je croi lol ;)
Réponse: Un coup de main pour un oral écrit de a2line12, postée le 02-05-2007 à 11:47:13 (S | E)
Bonjour voici le texte que j'ai re re re re re modifié pour atteindre la perfection dans une centaine d'année
During the third year of my formation, I completed my third placement in an estate agent's. I began it on November the twentieth two thousand and six, to finish on November the twenty second two thousand and six. This training session lasted four weeks. It is a small firm made up of five estate agents, one management assistant, and the manager.
During my first week, I met the various staff members. I observed the organisation of the firm. My placement officer explained to me what I would be doing on a daily basis. I carried out various tasks :
- I performed a lot of payment adjustments that have been sent to the tenants.
- Sometimes when the assistant was out of the office and I was in charge of the reception, I answered the phone to give information and wrote a lot of letters send to the tenants
- I studied the competitors to situate the firm among the competition
Contrary to the other training course I was never alone in this firm. That is to say, I couldn’t work independently but there was always somebody who could help me.
Before this third training session, I realized two other placement, the first one in a driving school where I was constantly alone all the time. But the advantage is that I was always at the contact of the client. The second training was realized in a small business that sells art products of table. It was the less interesting of all because my placement officer do not give me his confidence.
The last placement was very interesting, it allowed me to discover the work of a management assistant in an estate agent’s that I have never seen in my other training. I think that I would like to work in this sector in a few years. I was able to put into practise what I have been learning in school. However, I have been disappointed because the director has not given me his trust.
Bonne réception
Réponse: Un coup de main pour un oral écrit de sdtriton, postée le 03-05-2007 à 05:40:58 (S | E)
During the third year of my formation, I completed my third placement in an estate agent's. I began it on November the twentieth two thousand and six, to finish on November the twenty second two thousand and six. This training session lasted four weeks. It is a small firm made up of five estate agents, one management assistant, and the manager.
During my first week, I met the various staff members. I observed the organisation of the firm. My placement officer explained to me what I would be doing on a daily basis. I carried out various tasks :
- I performed a lot of payment adjustments that have been sent to the tenants.
- Sometimes when the assistant was out of the office and I was in charge of the reception, I answered the phone to give information and wrote a lot of letters send to the tenants
- I studied the competitors to situate the firm among the competition
Contrary to the other training course I was never alone in this firm. That is to say, I couldn’t work independently but there was always somebody who could help me.
Before this third training session, I realized two other placement, the first one in a driving school where I was constantly alone all the time. But the advantage is that I was always at the contact of the client. The second training was realized in a small business that sells art products of table. It was the less interesting of all because my placement officer do not give me his confidence.
The last placement was very interesting, it allowed me to discover the work of a management assistant in an estate agent’s that I have never seen in my other training. I think that I would like to work in this sector in a few years. I was able to put into practise what I have been learning in school. However, I have been disappointed because the director has not given me his trust.
"At an estate agent's" est correct, mais un peu familier.
"I began it" - et encore, "it" est pas nécessaire et un peu redondant.
Et pour les dates, il vaudrait mieux écrire les nombres au lieu des mots.
"competitors to situate the firm among the competition" - c'est mieux de ne pas utiliser le même mot deux fois, pas incorrect mais pas élégant.
I realized two other placement - concordance!
where I was constantly alone all the time. - et encore c'est redondant de dire "constantly" et aussi "all the time" car ils veulent dire la même chose
art products of table - je comprends pas
It was the less interesting of all - car c'est un superlatif, il faut écrire "least" ou "most," et également, pour un comparatif "less" ou "more."
INDISPENSABLES : 