Comme des milliers de personnes, recevez gratuitement chaque semaine << Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas
Correction de texte svp :)
Message de mamalexou posté le 27-09-2007 à 19:30:17 (S | E | F | I)
bonjour j'ai fait un texte pouvez vous me le corriger ou me dire vraiment les grosse fautes??
"in this day and age there are too much things to change for a good life. (j'ai mis they are car c'est plusieurs choses dc pluriel mais je ne suis pas sure)Because there are too much things negative but they found good things. People are narrow-minded about religion, thought...
They are too much violence for nothing. Young people nowadays of some countries grow up with violence and mistrust because they are affect by the war, for example in Irak, childrens become soldiers when they are young.
On top of that people are racist because they are frightened of the ukniw. The trade dispute are numerous in the big cities, discrimation too.
I would like a world whithout violence, a wolrd where the money is not a problem.
All countries will be equals; i would like that all childrens will be happy, and doesn't ill, they will have their parents.
I wish doesn' have kids who suffer of poverty.
it's my idyllic view of things."
voila merci d'avance
Message de mamalexou posté le 27-09-2007 à 19:30:17 (S | E | F | I)
bonjour j'ai fait un texte pouvez vous me le corriger ou me dire vraiment les grosse fautes??
"in this day and age there are too much things to change for a good life. (j'ai mis they are car c'est plusieurs choses dc pluriel mais je ne suis pas sure)Because there are too much things negative but they found good things. People are narrow-minded about religion, thought...
They are too much violence for nothing. Young people nowadays of some countries grow up with violence and mistrust because they are affect by the war, for example in Irak, childrens become soldiers when they are young.
On top of that people are racist because they are frightened of the ukniw. The trade dispute are numerous in the big cities, discrimation too.
I would like a world whithout violence, a wolrd where the money is not a problem.
All countries will be equals; i would like that all childrens will be happy, and doesn't ill, they will have their parents.
I wish doesn' have kids who suffer of poverty.
it's my idyllic view of things."
voila merci d'avance
Réponse: Correction de texte svp :) de aud18, postée le 27-09-2007 à 20:15:59 (S | E)
Bonjour ! Voilà pour moi tes fautes à corriger :
"in this day and age(en un seul mot ça te donne...) there are too much things to change for a good life . Because there are too much things negative (indice "that's a good thing")but they found good things(que veux-tu dire ?d'où viens ce they ?). People are narrow-minded about religion, thought...
They are too much violence for nothing. Young people nowadays of(mauvais préposition) some countries grow up with violence and mistrust XX (mistrust...cf dico) because they are affectXX by the war, for example in Irak, childrens
become soldiers when they are young.On top of that people(allons donc, tu peux faire mieux!) are racist because they are frightened of the ukniw(quel est ce mot ?inconnu au bataillon!). The trade dispute(si tu veux dire les bagarres,ce n'est pas ça!) are numerous in the big cities, discrimation too.
I would like a world whithout
violence, a wolrd
where the money is not a problem.All countries will be equals; i would like that allchildrens
will be happy, and doesn't (indice:"I'm ill, sick" donc...)ill, they will have their parents(que veux-tu dire ?qu'ils ne soient pas orphelins non?! ).I wish doesn' (non...mets plutôt"ne plus voir")have kids who suffer of (suffer....
) poverty.it's my idyllic view of things(je te propose mieux dans ton sens :"c'est ma vision idyllique d'un monde meilleur"à prendre ou à laisser.")
Alors en résumé c'est pas trop mal,mais utilise mieux ton dictionnaire, tu aurai eu beaucoup moins de fautes !
A toi de jouer
-------------------
Modifié par aud18 le 27-09-2007 20:27
Réponse: Correction de texte svp :) de mamalexou, postée le 27-09-2007 à 20:48:17 (S | E)
alors
"today there are too much things to change for a good life . Because there are too much that's a good thing (c'est correct? je n'ai pas compris ce que tu a voulu que je corrige ici désolée) but they found good things (ici je veux dire qu'on trouve aussi de bonne choses donc j'ai traduit "on" par "they"....)
People are narrow-minded about religion, thought...
They are too much violence for nothing. Young people nowadays to some countries grow up with violence and mistrust (euhh je ne sais pas quelle préposition peut être "of" car je veux dire qu'ils sont méfiant en général) because they are affecting (??) by the war for example in Iraq, child (ou childs) become soldiers when they are young. More are racist because they are frightened of the unknow. The trade dispute (je veux dire les conflits sociaux....) are numerous in the big cities, discrimination too.
I would like a world without violence, a world where the money is not a problem.
All countries will be equals; i would like that all child/s will be happy and aren't ill (je ne suis pas sur pr la négation), they will have their parents (je veux dire qu'il est leurs parents dc oui qu'ils ne soit pas orphelin lol)
I wish not to see have ho suffer of poverty (euhh je ne vois pas ce qui ne vas pas avec "of" désolée)
it's my idyllic view of better world."
merci pr ton aide!! c'est trop cool
Réponse: Correction de texte svp :) de aud18, postée le 27-09-2007 à 23:20:12 (S | E)
"Nowadays (plutôt que today, plus global) there are too much things to change for having * a good life . Because there are too much negative things (je voulais que tu inverses !good thing > tu calques> negative things) but we can (alors le they je le remplace par we, can pour montrer que c’est possible de trouver de bonnes choses malgré tout, can+B.V. >can find) find good things
People are narrow-minded about religion, thought...
They are too much violence for nothing. Nowadays (mieux en début de phrase), young people in (dans les grandes villes, pas de to qui exprime le but ) some countries grow up with violence and are suspicious (dans ce cas, change de mot si tu ne sais pas ! c’est plus simple !) because they are affected (be+participe passé) by the war for example in Iraq, children (child >pluriel>children ! pas de s à la fin ! tu mets ici children plutôt que child car tu parle des enfants en général) become soldiers when they are young. More and more people are racist because they are frightened by the strangers (mauvaise préposition, frightened by …mais surement pas par l’inconnu ! inconnu en tant que personne se dit stranger). The social conflicts are numerous in the big cities, discrimination too.
I would like a world without violence, a world where (plutôt in which) the money is not a problem.
All countries will be equals; i would like that all children (cf plus haut) will be happy and not be ill (be ill= être malade, "not" seul car "will" n'est pas très loin, on sait que c'est lié avec le "and"), that they have their parents (dans ce cas, enlève will,depuis le début de ta phrase, on sait que c’est ton espérance. Sinon , tu peux mettre « that they don’t become orphans »)
I wish I no more saw ** children suffer from poverty (suffer from !!!)
That's (mieux que it’s, c’est comme si en un mot tu disais « tout ceci » ici) my idyllic vision (mieux que view ici) of a (petit article) better world."
* change for having a good life : changer pour avoir une vie meilleure. For>préposition>have+ing (car « for ») . Je pense que better à la place de good serait bien.
** I wish + pronom + prétérit (à sens subjonctif)= exprime le souhait, regret. I wish I no more saw (saw, prétérit de see)….
Et voilà ! A bon travail mérite bonne nuit
Réponse: Correction de texte svp :) de TravisKidd, postée le 28-09-2007 à 02:14:30 (S | E)
"In this day and age" est tout à fait une bonne expression, et va bien là.
(Je n'ai pas regardé le reste du texte.)
Réponse: Correction de texte svp :) de aud18, postée le 28-09-2007 à 10:22:59 (S | E)
Je ne connaissais pas cette expression, je n'ai pas dit qu'elle était fausse mais personnellement je préfère "nowadays" .
A choisir alors
Réponse: Correction de texte svp :) de mamalexou, postée le 28-09-2007 à 18:16:37 (S | E)
MOuhahahaha, je te remercie aud18!
Merci ! J'espère que "Prison Break", c'était bien lol
Il y a juste un truc que je n'ai pas compris : c'est "because they are affected" car c'est un fait présent, enfin qui dure longtemps...enfin, avec cette forme, je comprends que c'est un fait passé, donc, je n'ai pas compris mais merci quand même ; ça m'a beaucoup aidé!
Réponse: Correction de texte svp :) de aud18, postée le 28-09-2007 à 20:17:25 (S | E)
"Nowadays , young people in some countries grow up with violence and are suspicious because they are affected by the war for example in Iraq, children become soldiers when they are young. "
Pourquoi sont-ils méfiants ? Parce qu'ils sont affectés par la guerre.
Ce n'est pas du tout un fait passé ! Si tel aurait été le cas, cela aurait donné "they were affected".
"they are affected" -> be est bien conjugué au présent donc un fait présent.
"they were affected" -> be est au prétérit donc un fait achevé
Est-ce plus clair ?
-------------------
Modifié par aud18 le 28-09-2007 20:25
Réponse: Correction de texte svp :) de tartaruga, postée le 29-09-2007 à 01:17:32 (S | E)
Hi! I tried to correct your text without reading what it has been told till now, in order to not be influenced in my opinion… And I hope that it is not too late for you to get my answer…
Well,
“Nowadays, there are too many things to be changed for a good life. Because there are too many negative things, but they found good things. (I’m sorry to tell you, but this last sentence doesn’t make much sense for me… Who are “they” who found the good things? And what is the sense of “because” here? ) People are narrow-minded about religion, thoughts (if you didn’t want to say “way of thinking”).
There is too much violence for nothing. Nowadays, the young people from some countries grow up with violence and mistrust, being affected by the war, like in Irak where children become soldiers when they are still very young.
What do you wanted to say by “On top of that”? … people are racists because they are frightened of the unknown (I suppose that your “ukniw” is unknown). The trade disputes are numerous in the big cities, and discrimination too.
I would like a world without violence, a world where money (without “the”) were not a problem.
All countries will be equals (but if you wanted to express a wish, it’s better “I wish all countries to be equals”); I would like all children to be happy (without “that”), and never ill, and having their parents (or “at the home of their parents"). (I translated it more in the perspective of a wish, not of an event that you are sure that it will happen).
I wish there weren’t kids suffering of poverty.
This is my idyllic view of things.”
I hope that my translation helped you a bit… It would have been easier having the text in French too, to be sure of what you wanted to say…
Réponse: Correction de texte svp :) de tartaruga, postée le 29-09-2007 à 01:58:41 (S | E)
I’ve just wrote what has been said above, and aud is right, it’s “suffering from poverty”. And if you wanted to say that people are frightened by the unknown persons, then she is right again, you have to say “strangers”, or better “foreigners”...
Réponse: Correction de texte svp :) de tartaruga, postée le 29-09-2007 à 02:19:16 (S | E)
I'm sorry, I wanted to say "I’ve just read what has been said above", and not wrote!!
Réponse: Correction de texte svp :) de TravisKidd, postée le 29-09-2007 à 04:47:01 (S | E)
To tartaruga:
You can always edit your posts by clicking on the E link at the top of the message.
Also, even though you meant to say "I've just read" instead of "I've just wrote", I hope you know that even if you meant to say "I've just wrote", you would have had to say "I've just written" instead.
Réponse: Correction de texte svp :) de mamalexou, postée le 29-09-2007 à 11:01:54 (S | E)
ouasi aud c'est plus clair maintenant merci
mais pr les autres utilisateurs je n'ai pas trop compris lol enfin merci a eux quand meme
Réponse: Correction de texte svp :) de tartaruga, postée le 29-09-2007 à 13:54:00 (S | E)
To TravisKidd:
Thanks for the "E" tip!
And don't worry for the "I've just written", I know it very well
INDISPENSABLES : 