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Message de go posté le 15-10-2007 à 19:15:12 (S | E | F | I)
Bonjour
J'ai rédigé ce petit article sur le fait d'être mère et d'avoir une carrière et j'aimerais bien que quelqu'un plus doué que moi me le corrige Merci à l'avance!!!
Nowadays, most of women have a career and manage to be mothers too.
First of all, when a newborn comes in a family, her mother has a maternity leave which let her to take care of him during a few months. Moreover, for some years fathers can have a leave too. Nevertheless it’s often less long than for mothers. Then when mothers are going to work back they can trust their baby to a nanny or to a child care centre which are often organized by their works council in leading firm. However a good organisation at home is required. 100
That’s why the father has a prominent role. They can lay out their timetable in order to attend to their children. They can also share housework, cooking, washing… However it’s often harder when parents are divorced. But, sometimes, teenagers can help them at home too. A mother works often halftime or not on Wednesday to spend time or to come with them if they make sport. If parents have a good earning they can also hire a cleaner lady and buy delicatessen if they have no time at all cook.
To put it in a nutshell, women can manage to have a career and be mothers thanks to many things and mainly thanks to a good organisation.
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Modifié par bridg le 15-10-2007 19:17
Réponse: correction mother/career de tiniflo, postée le 15-10-2007 à 23:13:40 (S | E)
Nowadays, most of women have a career and manage to be mothers too.
First of all, when a newborn comes in a family, her mother has a
maternity leave which let her to take care of him during a few months.
Moreover, since few years fathers can have a leave too. Nevertheless
it’s often less long than for mothers. Then when mothers are going to
work again they can trust their baby to a nanny or to a child care
centre which are often organized by their works council in leading
firms. However a good organisation at home is required. 100 (je n'ai pas compris)
That’s why the father has a prominent role. They (=>qui ?) Parents can lay out their
timetable in order to attend to their children. They can also share
housework, cooking, washing… However it’s often harder when parents are
divorced. But sometimes teenagers can help them at home too. A mother
works often halftime or not on Wednesday to spend time or to come with them (=>qui ?) or accompany them if they make sport. Parents with a good earning can also
hire a cleaner lady and buy food in a delicatessen if they have no time at all
to cook.
To put it in a nutshell, women can manage to have a career and be
mothers thanks to many things but mainly thanks to a good organisation.
Voilà ce que j'ai repéré.
Réponse: correction mother/career de marie11, postée le 16-10-2007 à 01:59:29 (S | E)
Bonjour.
Voici quelques erreurs relevées au hasard de ma lecture.
a newborn !! (newborn adjectif) ──► a newborn child/baby.
for some years.....+ present perfect.
When mothers resume work .....entrust...to.
They
Réponse: correction mother/career de willy, postée le 16-10-2007 à 19:35:30 (S | E)
Hello !
Quelques suggestions en plus :
- ... a newborn baby ...her
mother ... take care of him - ... centre which are
- share ... housework, ... cooking, ... washing
- ... a mother works often
- ... on Wednesday...
Réponse: correction mother/career de zodiac97500, postée le 17-10-2007 à 01:16:26 (S | E)
Bonsoir
J'ai mis entre parenthèses ce qui me semblait à corriger ou à améliorer
Nowadays, most () women have a career and manage to be mothers too.
First of all, when a newborn (child ) comes in a family, her mother has a maternity ( benefit >)( which gives her some time ) to take care of him during a few months. Moreover,( since )a few years fathers can have a( benefit) too. Nevertheless it’s often less long( er ) than mother('s). Then when mothers are going (back )to work they can(entrust) their baby to a nanny or to a child care centre which are often organized by their work council in leading firm. However a good organisation at home is required. 100
That’s why the father has a prominent role.( Both father and mother )can lay out their timetable in order to attend to their children. They can also share housework, cooking, washing… However it’s often harder when parents are divorced. But, sometimes, teenagers can help them at home too. A mother works often halftime( taking the ) Wednesday ( off ) ( in order )to spend time or to come with ( their child ) if they make sport. If parents have ()good earnings they can also hire a cleaner lady and buy delicatessen if they ( don't have enough time at all to cook. )To put it in a nutshell, women can manage to have a career and be mothers ( at the same time ) .Thanks to many things and (many )thanks to a good organisation.
To put it in a nutshell : en deux mots
bonne continuation
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Modifié par zodiac97500 le 17-10-2007 01:21
INDISPENSABLES : 