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    Oral anglais; pouvez vous m'aider? (1)

    << Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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    Oral anglais; pouvez vous m'aider?
    Message de fraghealt posté le 12-11-2007 à 19:23:04 (S | E | F | I)

    Bonsoir à tous et à toutes,

    Je dois faire une petite intervention en anglais et j'aimerais savoir si vous pouviez m'aider à corriger les fautes les plus flagrantes...
    Merci par avance,
    Amicalement,
    Thomas

    Hey guys !

    My name is Arnaud and I want becoming a reporter. That’s why I wrote a blog which deals with the most important conflict of the twentieth century : the second World War II. This was not only an international conflict, but this was the embodiment of cruelty.
    1933…Adolph Hitler elected chancellor of Germany. People had faith in him, but, in fact, he was only a heartless dictator. Adolph invaded Europe in 1939 and engaged France, Belgium, the Netherlands and many others, for years. Adolph perpetrated an ugly genocide. Most of people were afraid: they didn’t want to hit back at those experiences. However few inhabitants still fought, alone, against the Axis. There were too many deathly…
    Nowadays, we don’t have to fight, we live peacefully thanks to ours ancestors who passed on to defend freedom.
    Do you think we are forgetting this conflict? Why?
    Nicolas Sarkozy want us to read a resistant fighter’s letter : Guy Môquet. What do you think about it?
    In my mind, we mustn’t forget our history because we can’t remake the same errors.


    -------------------
    Modifié par mariebru le 12-11-2007 20:39


    Réponse: Oral anglais; pouvez vous m'aider? de marlond, postée le 12-11-2007 à 19:47:19 (S | E)
    Hi,
    I've had a look over it - it looks quite good. Read through what I've put, and if you want anything explaining, feel free to ask.

    marlond

    Hey guys !

    My name is Arnaud and I want becoming a reporter. That’s why I wrote a blog which deals with the most important conflict of the twentieth century : the second World War II. This was not only an international conflict, but (this was) the embodiment of cruelty.

    *”I want becoming” -> would you say ‘I want going to the cinema’?
    * “the second World War II” -> either ‘the Second World War’ or ‘World War II’, not a combination of the two

    1933…Adolph Hitler elected chancellor of Germany. People had faith in him, but, in fact, he was only a heartless dictator.
    *’he was ONLY a heartless dictator’ -> to me, this sounds like you’re playing down the significance of Hitler. Perhaps something more like: “People initially trusted him, but later he was exposed for what he really way: a heartless dictator.”
    * ‘chancellor’ -> capital C

    Adolph invaded Europe in 1939 and engaged France, Belgium, the Netherlands and many others, for years. Adolph perpetrated an ugly genocide.
    *It’s strange to refer to Hitler as simply ‘Adolph’ – it sounds like you’re trying to be his friend… Call him ‘Hitler’.
    * ‘engaged’ -> You can’t just say ‘engaged’ – ‘engaged France etc… IN CONFLICT’ would work.
    *No need for comma before ‘for years’.

    Most of people were afraid: they didn’t want to hit back at those experiences. However few inhabitants still fought, alone, against the Axis. There were too many deathly…

    *’Most of people’ -> an error you should be able to see yourself
    *’hit back’ -> I’m not entirely sure what you mean there.
    *” However few inhabitants still fought, alone, against the Axis” -> look again at the punctuation because this is ambiguous.
    *‘there were too many deathly’ -> ‘deathly’ is an adjective – you need a noun with this construction.

    Nowadays, we don’t have to fight, we live peacefully thanks to ours ancestors who passed on to defend freedom.

    *’ours’ -> error you can probably see for yourself
    *’passed on’ -> ‘to pass on’ often implies to die peacefully, in one’s sleep for example. It’s quite a polite way of saying ‘to die’, but these soldiers died in war, so something stronger is necessary: “who have their lives to defend…” is the idiom usually used in this context.

    Do you think we are forgetting this conflict? Why?
    Nicolas Sarkozy want us to read a resistant fighter’s letter : Guy Môquet. What do you think about it?
    In my mind, we mustn’t forget our history because we can’t remake the same errors.

    *’in my mind’ -> sounds a little awkward. Better: ‘To my mind’, or simply ‘in my opinion’, or even ‘I really believe that we…’
    *’remake’ -> Be careful when translating verbs prefixed with ‘re’ in French into English. English does have the same prefix to mean ‘to do again’, but it’s nowhere near as common, e.g.: ‘retéléphoner’ = ‘to call back/again’, never ‘retelephone’ . The word ‘remake’ does exist, usually as a noun to describe a new version of a film, or occasionally as a verb, but again used mainly for cinema. Much more common is to use ‘again’ “we can’t/mustn’t make the same errors/mistakes again”


    Réponse: Oral anglais; pouvez vous m'aider? de fraghealt, postée le 12-11-2007 à 23:02:58 (S | E)
    Thanks a lot !
    But, I don't know what the word "way" means in : [...]he was exposed for what he really way: a heartless dictator.”
    Can you explain me please?
    Thanks again ;)



    Réponse: Oral anglais; pouvez vous m'aider? de marlond, postée le 13-11-2007 à 08:53:59 (S | E)
    for what he really waS

    Lol. Sorry. It was a typing error - I should have read it back before posting!

    Also:
    "Can you explain me please?" -> "Can you explain IT TO ME please?" or "Can you explain please" or "Can you explain IT please?".

    marlond




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