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Oral bac
Message de lizie posté le 16-11-2007 à 13:48:24 (S | E | F | I)
Bonjour,
Nous avons le commentaire d'un oral de bac à préparer. Pourriez-vous me dire si ce que j'ai fait convient ?
Merci d'avance
The text we are invited to study entitled FIGHTING BACK dating back to 1937 is taken from A book entitled BLACK BOY written by RICHARD WRIGHT and deals with the theme of the violence.
It can be divided into 3 parts.
I will focus my attention on the first part which can be entitled « how to become a real man? » before dealing with the Young boy’s feelings and the final reversal of situation.
In the first place, Richard has just been beaten and robbed by a gang of white boys, as he has just had a narrow escape, Richard explains to his mother what has just happened to him.
Instead of supporting him; the mother adopts an overbearing tone; indeed, she uses imperative sentences. L.4
Richard gasps and begs his mum to enter the house but it is surprising that she should want her son not to come back into the house maybe he will be killed.
Maybe because she wants to make her son a real man because she thinks that it is time for him to become a real man.
Furthermore, may be she wants to be proud of him.
The mother of Richard would’t like that her son come back into her house without those groceries and If he comes back home whitout the groceries, she will whip him. L26-27
Nevertheless, she knows that if he goes back into the street, he could be beaten by the gang of boys.
His mother is heartless.
And for her , if Richard doesn’t come back into the groceries, the segregation will continue.
In short,Richard is caught in the middle; he has no way out.
He is bound to be beaten.
That is why he is scared to death.
As for me, may be she wants that her son come back into the groceries because returning means that the blacks are not afraid of whites.
Furthermore, Richard is frightened out of his wits
L.29 « I shook with fright »; he tries to weigh the pros and cons and prefers to go to the street because it is the only way for him to get a chance to defend himself and according to me, it is the occasion for him to get a chance to defend himself against the gang.
And he decides to take his courage into both hands.
To finish, not to renounce is already a victory for the black and for Richard.
Moreover, Richard is alone whereas the boys are several.
All in all, they are not on an equal footing.
Richard didn’t stop hitting the boys and they hadn’t the time to ripost; and the boys are crying.
They can’t believe their eyes.
Richard became a real man with a new personality; and has also IN A SENSE freed the blacks from the whites; indeed,now, he
won the right to the streets of MEMPHIS.
L.50
It is a real victory for him.
Moreover,The mother of Richard will be proud of her son.
He has become a man; won his independance.
Besides, maybe Richard has won against the gang of white boys because He fought at night and Richard is black; so night kelped him and the end is symbolically dominated by the black colour to show the black boy’s victory.
The whites were darkened by Richard.
As a conclusion, Richard mother wanted to give her son a lesson which is that…..
Futhermore, I may say that segregation in poor ghettos hasn’t disppeared today.
If I had been RICHARD, I would have left my family because as for me, a mother is here to protect her son and not to whip him if he comes back home.
A mother is here to prevent violence.
Message de lizie posté le 16-11-2007 à 13:48:24 (S | E | F | I)
Bonjour,
Nous avons le commentaire d'un oral de bac à préparer. Pourriez-vous me dire si ce que j'ai fait convient ?
Merci d'avance
The text we are invited to study entitled FIGHTING BACK dating back to 1937 is taken from A book entitled BLACK BOY written by RICHARD WRIGHT and deals with the theme of the violence.
It can be divided into 3 parts.
I will focus my attention on the first part which can be entitled « how to become a real man? » before dealing with the Young boy’s feelings and the final reversal of situation.
In the first place, Richard has just been beaten and robbed by a gang of white boys, as he has just had a narrow escape, Richard explains to his mother what has just happened to him.
Instead of supporting him; the mother adopts an overbearing tone; indeed, she uses imperative sentences. L.4
Richard gasps and begs his mum to enter the house but it is surprising that she should want her son not to come back into the house maybe he will be killed.
Maybe because she wants to make her son a real man because she thinks that it is time for him to become a real man.
Furthermore, may be she wants to be proud of him.
The mother of Richard would’t like that her son come back into her house without those groceries and If he comes back home whitout the groceries, she will whip him. L26-27
Nevertheless, she knows that if he goes back into the street, he could be beaten by the gang of boys.
His mother is heartless.
And for her , if Richard doesn’t come back into the groceries, the segregation will continue.
In short,Richard is caught in the middle; he has no way out.
He is bound to be beaten.
That is why he is scared to death.
As for me, may be she wants that her son come back into the groceries because returning means that the blacks are not afraid of whites.
Furthermore, Richard is frightened out of his wits
L.29 « I shook with fright »; he tries to weigh the pros and cons and prefers to go to the street because it is the only way for him to get a chance to defend himself and according to me, it is the occasion for him to get a chance to defend himself against the gang.
And he decides to take his courage into both hands.
To finish, not to renounce is already a victory for the black and for Richard.
Moreover, Richard is alone whereas the boys are several.
All in all, they are not on an equal footing.
Richard didn’t stop hitting the boys and they hadn’t the time to ripost; and the boys are crying.
They can’t believe their eyes.
Richard became a real man with a new personality; and has also IN A SENSE freed the blacks from the whites; indeed,now, he
won the right to the streets of MEMPHIS.
L.50
It is a real victory for him.
Moreover,The mother of Richard will be proud of her son.
He has become a man; won his independance.
Besides, maybe Richard has won against the gang of white boys because He fought at night and Richard is black; so night kelped him and the end is symbolically dominated by the black colour to show the black boy’s victory.
The whites were darkened by Richard.
As a conclusion, Richard mother wanted to give her son a lesson which is that…..
Futhermore, I may say that segregation in poor ghettos hasn’t disppeared today.
If I had been RICHARD, I would have left my family because as for me, a mother is here to protect her son and not to whip him if he comes back home.
A mother is here to prevent violence.
Réponse: Oral bac de shamrock72, postée le 16-11-2007 à 20:51:32 (S | E)
J'aimerais d'abord savoir dans quelle section tu es.
Réponse: Oral bac de lizie, postée le 17-11-2007 à 10:12:42 (S | E)
je suis en terminal ES
Réponse: Oral bac de shamrock72, postée le 17-11-2007 à 20:48:52 (S | E)
Oral en LV2, spécialité ou éventuellement pour le second tour?
Réponse: Oral bac de lizie, postée le 18-11-2007 à 09:39:19 (S | E)
LVR
Réponse: Oral bac de shamrock72, postée le 18-11-2007 à 19:46:03 (S | E)
Sans rentrer dans les détails, il faudrait éviter le "the text is divided into..." surtout en spécialité, langue de complément.
Il serait plutôt souhaitable d'utiliser des tournures comme: First the writer explains / shows..., then he alludes to...., finally he insists on....à adapter en fonction du nombre de parties dans le texte bien sûr et des idées centrales de chacune de ces parties. Les mots de liaison sont incontournables tant à l'écrit qu'à l'oral que ce soit pour la première partie de l'épreuve que pour la seconde (inconnue).
Globalement cela me semble un peu court, surtout si l'on considère que cette partie doit durer 10 minutes comme la seconde d'ailleurs.
Il faut approfondir le support en travaillant le fond et la forme et l'implicite bien sûr. L'opinion personnelle sur le support et le thème traité ne s'improvise pas le jour de l'oral.
J'espère que ces quelques conseils pourront t'aider dans ta préparation orale avec ton professeur en classe.
Shamrock72
Réponse: Oral bac de lizie, postée le 19-11-2007 à 23:05:02 (S | E)
Pourriez-vous me dire ce qu'il faudrait que je change.........
Merci
Je suis perdu
Réponse: Oral bac de lizie, postée le 20-11-2007 à 20:15:56 (S | E)
Alors voilà notre professeur nous a donné une fiche d'aide pour la présentation et " divided into...." "I will focus my attention on...." en font partie; donc je ne sais pas car si le jour du bac les professeurs ne pensent pas pareil que faire?.
De plus elle nous a dit que notre commentaire devait faire une copie double; je ne vois pas ce que je pourrais rajouter de plus.....!!!
Un grand besoin d'aide
Je voudrais savoir si mes idées s'enchainent avec logique?
merci
Réponse: Oral bac de lizie, postée le 21-11-2007 à 19:45:26 (S | E)
Correction:
Est-ce bon??
Merci d'avance
The text I am going to comment upon entitled FIGHTING BACK dates back to 1937.
It is an extract from a novel entitled BLACK BOY written by RICHARD WRIGHT and deals with the theme of violence.
It can be divided into 3 parts.
First I will focus my attention on Richard a Young black boy who comes home shuddering and crying because he has just been beat en and robe by a gang of boys before dealing with the Young boy’s feelings and the final reversal of situation.
Firstly, Richard a young black boy has just been beaten and robbed by a gang of white boys. As he has just had a narrow escape, Richard explains to his mother what has just happened to him.
But instead of supporting him ,his mother adopts an overbearing tone; indeed, she uses imperative sentences: L.4 « Don’t you come in here »
Richard gasps and begs his mum to enter the house but it is surprising that she should not want her son to come into the house: he may be killed when staying outside.
It ‘s maybe because his mother wants him to become a real man because she thinks that it is time for him to become a real man.
Maybe she thinks that he He has to face his difficulties. For her, it’s that bécane a real man.
Furthermore, she may want to be proud of him.
Richard’s mother wouldn’t like her son to come back home without those groceries and if he came back whitout the groceries, she would whip him. L26-27
Nevertheless, she knows that if he goes back into the street, he could be beaten by the gang of boys: his mother is heartless.
And for her , if Richard doesn’t to go to the grosseries, segregation will continue.
In short, Richard is caught in the middle: he has no way out. He is bound to be beaten.
That is why he is scared to death.
As for me, she may want her son to go to the grocer’s because returning means that the blacks are not afraid of the whites.
In addition, Richard is frightened out of his wits: L.29 « I shook with fright »; he tries to weigh the pros and cons and prefers to go to the street because it is the only way for him to get a chance to defend himself and , according to me, it is the opportunity for him to get a chance to defend himself against the gang.
And he decides to take his courage into both hands.
To sum it up, not to renounce is already a victory for the blacks and for Richard as well.
Moreover, Richard is alone whereas the boys form a gang of several people
All in all, they are not on an equal footing.
Richard didn’t stop hitting the boys and they didn’t have the time to ripost; and the boys were crying.
They couldn’t believe their eyes.
Richard became a real man with a new personality; and has also IN A SENSE to some extent freed the blacks from the whites; indeed,now, he won the right to the streets of MEMPHIS. L.50
It is a real victory for him.
Moreover, Richard’s mother will be proud of her son: He has become a manand won his independance.
Besides, Richard may have won against the gang of white boys because he fought at night and he is black; so the night helped him and the end is symbolically dominated by the black colour to show the black boy’s victory.
The whites were darkened by Richard.
As a conclusion Richard’s mother vante to give her son a lesson which is that In the life you should never drop.
Furthermore, I may say that segregation in poor ghettos hasn’t disappeared today.
If I had been Richard, I would have left my family because for me, a mother is here to protect her children and not to whip her son if he comes back home. A mother is here to prevent violence.
INDISPENSABLES : 