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    Texte à corriger SVP! (1)

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    Texte à corriger SVP!
    Message de iris974 posté le 08-05-2008 à 09:32:52 (S | E | F)

    Bonjour quelqu’un pourrait-il me corriger SVP?

    The techno :

    Movement musical arises the USA in 80 years. The technology has gradually imposed as a cultural phenomenon and global levels. Its history is turbulent. Music repetitive dreamlike and tribal, techno appears in a context of crisis and redefinition of global values. In America in Africa, Asia to the West, today it symbolizes a generation faced with globalization, a youth in search of meaning and festive communion.

    I-History:
    The techno has been a real success in two decades. The DJ's from Detroit took the house music and music develops a deeper, more rhythmic, and faster, more hair is the techno! The techno is one of the first subdivisions of the house; the house was born of black music, techno she was born to music synthetic white and black. The white and black music became boring and hence the DJs began mixing their discs very different musical styles, this has created a sort of techno. The technology is thus born of the black music through white machines.
    The technology is therefore born in America but also growing in Europe. She began to conquer Europe via Manchester in England in the mid 80. The technology is there; however, crippled because of the closure of discotheques only 2am are the early rave parties. Thus the main organizers of rave will decide to share their passion for techno in the rest of Europe. It will arrive to settle in other countries in Europe during the 90 years. New techno scenes will then rise everywhere and the phenomenon will soon be an integral part of the global musical culture.

    II-The techno, which represents?
    Music born from the advent of home studio, including information technology, techno music owes its success to the technological progress of recent decades. It thus symbolizes the transition from industrial society to the technological society.
    The techno culture is above all a culture of communion and celebration. The techno is a mixture of each culture, each story to give a new genre. And so every country, every region, every DJ interpreter itself this music so as to give his personal vision, his state of mind of the staff and a stain on its way. The techno music vehicle emotions and not by word but by the non-verbal it emerges.


    The techno music has made no real face, nor precise origins as it is the result of globalization and it is based on all existing music.
    Je vous remercie d’avance! A bientôt !




    Réponse: Texte à corriger SVP! de gee, postée le 08-05-2008 à 13:17:35 (S | E)
    The techno :

    Movement musical arises the USA in 80 years.
    [adj. before noun:
    Techno: musical movement arisen in the USA in the eighties.
    or:
    Techno: a musical movement which arose in the USA in the 80s. (1980s)]

    The technology has gradually imposed as a cultural phenomenon and global levels.
    [I presume you mean : … at global levels.
    I’d say techno and not technology which is not used for that kind of music.]

    Its history is turbulent. Music repetitive dreamlike and tribal, techno appears in a context of crisis and redefinition of global values.
    [adj. before noun:
    Repetitive music, dreamlike and tribal, appeared ….
    or:
    Repetitive, dreamlike and tribal music appeared…
    In English it is not usual like in French to use the present to tell what happened in the past. This remark applies to further sentences hereafter.]

    In America in Africa, Asia to the West, today it symbolizes a generation faced with globalization, a youth in search of meaning and festive communion.
    [Why not Western Asia?]

    I-History:
    The techno has been a real success in two decades. The DJ's from Detroit took the house music and music develops a deeper, more rhythmic, and faster, more hair is the techno![I suppose you mean that the DJs of Detroit started from the house music
    to develop it in a more rhythmic and faster speed…
    "More hair is the techno": I can’t catch that. Maybe because I am too old. Please hand me some explanations over.]

    [You write house music as in French: musique house.
    You write black and white music.
    I don’t know but I wonder whether it wouldn’t be better to write House for the music which is a particular style worth of a proper name and Black and White music as the color is not of the music but of the people.
    I am not sure I am right. Might someone more informed come out qith their opinion.]

    The techno is one of the first subdivisions of the house; the house was born of black music, techno she was born to music synthetic white and black.
    [the techno was born of both Black and White synthetic music.]

    Coming short of bits, I switch over to a second reply.
    (not proofread – non relu)





    Réponse: Texte à corriger SVP! de gee, postée le 08-05-2008 à 13:33:42 (S | E)
    The white and black music became boring and hence the DJs began mixing their discs [of] very different musical styles, this has created a sort of techno. The technology is [was] thus born of the black music through white machines.
    The technology is therefore born in America but also [a verb is missing] growing in Europe. She began to conquer Europe via Manchester in England in the mid 80 [80s].

    The technology is there; however, crippled because of the closure of discotheques only 2am are the early rave parties. [is it that: The techno is there, however crippled due to the closure of discotheques as soon as 2 AM. That phenomenon gave birth to the early rave parties.]

    Thus [isn’t it better: therefore?] the main organizers of rave will [would: see not on tense here above] decide to share their passion for techno in [with] the rest of Europe.

    It will arrive to settle [I’d say: They came to settle] in other countries in Europe during the 90 years.[the 90s/the nineties] New techno scenes will then rise everywhere and the phenomenon will soon be an integral part of the global musical culture.

    II-The techno, which represents? [What does it represent?]
    Music born from the advent of home studio, including information technology, techno music owes its success to the technological progress of [in] recent decades. [Is you sentence well balanced?] It thus symbolizes the transition from industrial society to [the] technological society.
    The techno culture is above all a culture of communion and celebration. The techno is a mixture of each culture [several cultures], each story [history? the history of each one?] to give a new genre. [gave birth to a new genre.]

    And so every country, every region, every DJ interpreter [that’s a noun. Use the verb to interpret] itself [neutral!! > themselves] this music so as to give his [their] personal vision, his [the] state of mind of the staff and a stain on its way. [a stain, c’est une tache! Do you mean : that they make a name for themselves on their way to procude music ? or that put their own mark on their personal music?]

    The techno music vehicle [accord 3e pers.] emotions and not by word but by the non-verbal it emerges. [v.i. ??]

    The techno music has made no real face nor [has] precise origins (*) as it is the result of globalization and it is based on all existing musics.
    (*) je suppose que tu veux dire qu'elle n'a fait de façon en intégrant diverses musiques existantes. Mais la phrase pour tenir debout, pourrait peutêtre s'écrire ainsi:
    The techno music has neither really made a face nor has precise origins...

    Keep it up!
    Warning: I’m not a native nor an E. teacher.
    (not proofread - non relu)




    Réponse: Texte à corriger SVP! de iris974, postée le 09-05-2008 à 16:06:18 (S | E)
    Merci pour votre aide!!! Elle m'est bien utile! A bientôt!





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