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    entrainement oral (1)

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    entrainement oral
    Message de chacharlotte posté le 10-05-2008 à 12:56:40 (S | E | F)

    Bonjour,

    Je m'entraine pour un oral et je dois présenter un texte et le commenter. J'ai essayé d'apporter des informations personnelles. Mais je ne sais ps si tout ce que j'ai dit est bien structuré et si c'est assez complet ou si je dois détailler davantage.
    Pouvez vous me donner votre avis s'il vous plait?
    Je vous remercie d'avance.

    Voici le texte :


    The first holiday
    By Monica Ali
    Thirsty or so years after he arrived in London, Chanu decided that it was time to see the sights. “All I saw I was the Houses of Parliament. And that was in 1979.” It was a project. Much equipment was needed. Preparations were made. Chanu bought a pair of shorts. He tried them on and filled the numerous pockets with a compass, guide-book, binoculars, bottled water, maps and two types of disposable camera. He made a list of tourist attractions. The girls would enjoy themselves. […]
    On a hot Saturday morning towards the end of July the planning came to fruition. “I’ve spent more than half my live here,” said Chanu, “but I hardly left these few streets. All this time I have been struggling and struggling, and I barely had time to lift my head and look “It’s like this”, Chanu said, “when you have all the time in the world to see something, you don’t brother to see it. Now that we are going home, I have become a tourist. Nazneen decided she would make this day unlike any other. She would not allow this day to disappoint him.
    The conductor came to collect fare. “Two at pound, and two children please,” said Chanu. He received his tickets, “Sightseeing”, he announced, “family holiday”.
    “Right,’ said the conductor.
    “Can you tell me something ? To your mind does British Museum rate more highly than the National Gallery ? Or would you recommend gallery over museum?”
    “In my rating system,” explain Chanu, “they are neck and neck. It would be good to take an opinion from a local.”
    “Where’ve you come from, mate ?”
    “Oh, just two blocks behind, said Chanu. “But this is the first holiday for twenty or thirty years”.

    Adapted from Brick Lane 2003

    Voici mon "oral" :

    The first holiday is an extract from a book which was written by Monica Ali and adapted from Brick Lane in 2003.
    The text deals with the first holiday in London of Chanu.
    Chanu lives in London for a half of his life. He has never visit the Kapital only the Houses of Parliament in 1979. So he decided to visit the sights. He’s needed much equipment like a tourist.
    He travels with Nazneen, maybe his wife and 2 children.

    I think it is strange that he visit his city after 20 or 30 years. Besides his city is the Kapital and there are a lot of famous monuments like… There are many tourists who visited London although he doesn’t live here, that why I don’t understand that one doesn’t know his town.
    I think it’s a shame to visit his city after have spent the half of his live.
    Maybe some people work hard as a result they don’t spend any holiday. But I think that in spite of everything it’s possible to take for a drive in his town the week end, for example.

    Of course it was in 1979, but if I compare In France 4 weeks of paid holiday are granted the working population since 1968.
    At present there are more and more peoples and teenagers which travel. In fact the School proposes teenagers travelling abroad in order to learn the language, for example ERASMUS. Moreover there are also more and more schooling exchange with abroad.
    For my part, I was travel to German by my penfriend. I think it’s instructive because one discover other customs, other life’s habitude, another gastronomy.
    Besides I have opportunity to travel to a lot of country, for example Norway and Swede, Greek and Sicily. It’s was a holiday camp organized with my father’s work. I left during about 3 weeks with 15 other teenagers that I didn’t know. And we camped and we travel abroad the country by minibus. I keep beautiful memories of his journeys.



    Réponse: entrainement oral de kelleher, postée le 10-05-2008 à 17:44:49 (S | E)
    The first holiday is an extract from a book which was written by Monica Ali and adapted from Brick Lane in 2003.
    The text deals with the first holiday in London of Chanu.
    Chanu lives (passé) in London for a half of his life. He has (had,now it’s done, ça dépend du point de vue) never visit the Kapital only the Houses of Parliament in 1979. So he decided to visit the sights. He’s needed much equipment like a tourist.
    He travels with Nazneen, maybe his wife and 2 children.

    I think it is strange that he visit[ ] his city after 20 or 30 years. Besides his city is the Kapital and there are a lot of famous monuments like… There are many tourists who visited London although he doesn’t (many tourists) live here, that why I don’t understand that (some)one doesn’t know his (own) town.
    I think it’s a shame to visit his city after have (il vit encore dans la ville, présent continue) spent the (pas besoin)half of his live.
    Maybe some people work[ ] hard as a result they don’t spend (have use or spent ........ to ) any holiday . But I think that in spite of everything (Despite this) it’s possible to take for a drive (pas sur, j’utiliserai spent a WE )in his town the week end, for example.

    Of course it was in 1979, but if I compare In France 4 weeks of paid holiday are granted the working population (pour moi Workers, mais working pop est bon mais c ‘est un oral) since 1968.
    At present there are more and more peoples and teenagers which travel. In fact the (les écoles en général) School[ ] proposes teenagers travelling abroad in order to learn the language, for example ERASMUS. Moreover there are also more and more schooling exchange with abroad.
    For my part, I was travel to German[ ] (country) by my penfriend. I think it’s instructive because one discover other customs, other life’s habiudet (habits), another gastronomy.
    Besides I have (passé, je pense que c’est par rapport au voyage) opportunity to travel to a lot of country, for example Norway and Swede, Greek and Sicily. It’s was a holiday camp organized with my father’s work. I left (go ) during about 3 weeks with 15 other[ ] teenagers that I didn’t know. And we camped and we travel (passé) abroad the country by minibus (travel abroad, ce suffit a lui même). I keep beautiful memories of this journeys.

    Tu devrais peut être évoqué le fait qu’il y est de forte chance qu’il soit immigré, du moins il n’est pas née à Londres, il a peut être envoyé de l’argent chez lui ou il est rentré voir sa famille pendant ses vacances, ça te donne d’autres possibilité qui si tu sent que tu es courte, peuvent t’aider. Et il se sent parfaitement londonien, (two blocks, mate).



    Réponse: entrainement oral de violet91, postée le 10-05-2008 à 19:24:42 (S | E)
    Bonjour..il y a encore de quoi faire pour un oral.

    Présentation du texte :it deals with the first holiday of Chanu,probably a poor immigrant (India,Pakistan..his name and his wife's)who has a first opportunity of having a holiday. East London is full of people like that. He has lived in the capital for more than twenty-thirty years. he doesn't travel in London : he is going to visit it. many people are happy enough and have enough money to do so , although they live elsewhere.

    Chanu's holiday is a great event for him and family. They don't get (not spend) holidays. At week-ends..do you think he has free time ? money? a car ? Underground tickets? You can't imagine how poor some people can be.and how many hours a day,a week, they are at work. people (invar). Who (pronom rel.de l'humain) School : système scolaire en général.Exchanges.In France ,1936, first paid holidays. " As for me, I went to Germany, invited by my penfriend.One discovers (3è sg prst simple!!).Your father could afford to pay you an exchange. Erasmus is for people who can afford University.
    Other ways of living. other food. Check the spelling for foreign countries: Greece....A lot of countries. I stayed in holiday camps abroad,thanks to my father's work. travelled across the country by minibus. My journeys = these journeys (or trips).

    ceci est un récit d'une personne très démunie qui n'a rien ...et a de telles conditions de vie qu'il attend "une vie"pour offrir à sa famille une petite découverte de la capitale où ils habitent. Certains enfants et adultes parisiens ne connaissent pas la tour Eiffel et les points touristiques.

    Copie à revoir. ce sera bien. Bon courage. violet


    Réponse: entrainement oral de chacharlotte, postée le 12-05-2008 à 12:50:57 (S | E)
    J'ai essayé de corriger les erreurs que vous m'avez soulignées et j'ai légèrement apporter des modifications. Pouvez-vous me dire ce que vous en pensez s'il vous plaît ?

    The first holiday is an extract from a book which was written by Monica Ali and adapted from Brick Lane in 2003.
    The text deals with the first holiday in London of Chanu.
    Chanu lived in London for a half of his life. He had never visit the Kapital only the Houses of Parliament in 1979. So he decided to visit the sights. He’s needed much equipment like a tourist.
    He travelled with Nazneen, maybe his wife and 2 children.

    Given the fact Chanu visits his city after 20 or 30 years, I suppose Chanu is probably a poor immigrant who has a first opportunity of having a holiday.
    Many tourists can visit London although they don’t live here, because they afford contrary to Chanu and his family. I think it’s a shame to visit his city after have spending half of his live.


    Maybe some people works hard as a result they don’t spend to any holiday .

    At the present there are more and more opportunities to discover his city and another cities or country only if one can afford
    In fact, In France 4 weeks of paid holiday are granted the workers since 1968.
    Currently there are more and more peoples and teenagers which travel. In fact School[ ] (je ne comprends pas ce que je dois ajouter) proposes teenagers travelling abroad in order to learn the language, for example ERASMUS. Moreover there are also more and more schooling exchanges with abroad, but it concerns people who can afford University.
    For my part, I had travel to Germany by my penfriend. I think it’s instructive because one discovers other customs, other life’s habits, another gastronomy.
    Besides I have had opportunity to travel to a lot of countries, for example Norway and Swede, Greece and Sicily. I stayed in holiday camps abroad,thanks to my father's work. I went during about 3 weeks with 15 others teenagers that I didn’t know. And we camped and we travelled accross the country by minibus . I keep beautiful memories of this journeys and I 'm well aware of the luck which I have had.



    Réponse: entrainement oral de kelleher, postée le 12-05-2008 à 20:31:51 (S | E)
    The first holiday is an extract from a book which was written by Monica Ali and adapted from Brick Lane in 2003.
    The text deals with the first holiday in London of Chanu.
    Chanu lived in London for a half of his life. He had never visit the Kapital only the Houses of Parliament in 1979. So he decided to visit the sights. He’s needed much equipment like a tourist.
    He travelled with Nazneen, maybe his wife and 2 children.

    Given the fact Chanu visits his city after 20 or 30 years, I suppose Chanu is probably a poor immigrant who has (his, simple suggestion, mais supprime le a)a first opportunity of having a (attention au h,à vérifier) holiday.
    Many tourists can visit London although they don’t live here, because they afford contrary to Chanu and his family. I think it’s a shame to visit his city after have spending (he have been spending) half of his live (in london or the city, this one is mine).


    Maybe some people works hard as a result they don’t spend to any holiday (to + something).

    At the present there are more and more opportunities to discover his city and another[ ] cities or country only if one can afford
    In fact, In France 4 weeks of paid holiday are granted (à qui) the workers since 1968 (aujourd'hui, c'est 5 et lorsqu'on parle des congés payés on évoque le front populaire même si en ce moment c'est à la mode mai 68).
    Currently there are more and more peoples and teenagers which travel. In fact School[s ] propose[s](à qui) teenagers(encore un) travelling abroad in order to learn the language, for example ERASMUS (for +ing ....., like ......) . Moreover there are also more and more schooling exchanges with abroad, but it concerns people who can afford University.
    For my part, I had travel to Germany by my penfriend. I think it’s instructive because one (toi et lui) discovers other customs, other life’s habits, another gastronomy.
    Besides I have had opportunity to travel to a lot of countries, for example Norway and Swede, Greece and Sicily. I stayed in holiday camps abroad,thanks to my father's work. I went during about 3 weeks with 15 others teenagers that I didn’t know (un autre mot R.......r, les emplacement ne sont pas suffisants, ;) ). And we camped and we travelled accross the country by minibus . I keep beautiful memories of this journeys and I 'm well aware of the luck which I have had.

    Essaye de modifier des tournures de phrase pour éviter, le nombre de "to", sinon ça devrait être pas mal, assure toi surtout de maitriser ce que tu est sensé dire.



    Réponse: entrainement oral de kelleher, postée le 12-05-2008 à 20:58:43 (S | E)
    these journeys, à la fin.

    schools parce que pour moi, il y a plusieurs types d'école fac, écoles d'ingé, grandes d'écoles et mêmes certains lycées obligent ou proposent de faire des stages ou séjours à l'étranger.

    but it concerns people who can afford University.
    L'université est quasiment gratuite en France, droit d'inscription ridicule, en ne comptant pas les à cotés (logements,...), nous sommes certainement le seul pays qui proposent ça. Eramus, correspond à une bourse européenne. Bien évidemment ça ne fait pas tout.


    Réponse: entrainement oral de chacharlotte, postée le 15-05-2008 à 10:58:02 (S | E)
    The first holiday is an extract from a book which was written by Monica Ali and adapted from Brick Lane in 2003.
    The text deals with the first holiday in London of Chanu.
    Chanu lived in London for a half of his life. He had never visit the Kapital only the Houses of Parliament in 1979. So he decided to visit the sights. He’s needed much equipment like a tourist.
    He travelled with Nazneen, maybe his wife and 2 children.

    Given the fact Chanu visits his city after 20 or 30 years, I suppose Chanu is probably a poor immigrant who has his first opportunity of having a holiday.
    Many tourists can visit London although they don’t live here, because they afford contrary to Chanu and his family. I think it’s a shame to visit his city after have been spending half of his live in london.


    Maybe some people works hard as a result they don’t spend to any holiday (to + something).

    At the present there are more and more opportunities to discover his city and anothers cities or country only if one can afford. In fact, In France 4 weeks of paid holiday are already granted to the workers since 1968 and 5 since 1982 This weeks of paid holidays have been accordeed thanks to the popular Frunt. Currently there are more and more peoples and teenagers which travel. In fact Schools propose to teenagers(encore un) je n'ai pas compris travelling abroad for learning the language, like ERASMUS. Moreover there are also more and more schooling exchanges with abroad, but it concerns people who can afford University.
    For my part, I had travel to Germany by my penfriend. I think it’s instructive because one discovers other customs, other life’s habits, another gastronomy.
    Besides I have had opportunity to travel to a lot of countries, for example Norway and Swede, Greece and Sicily. I stayed in holiday camps abroad,thanks to my father's work. I went during about 3 weeks with 15 others teenagers that I didn’t know (un autre mot R.......r, les emplacement ne sont pas suffisants, ;) je ne vois pas, c'est un mot pour remplacer le verbe know ?). And we camped and we travelled accross the country by minibus . I keep beautiful memories of these journeys and I 'm well aware of the luck which I have had.

    Pourquoi je dois écrire "after he have been spending" ? Pour éviter de mettre des "to" je dosi donc faire mes phrases à la forme passives alors ?


    Réponse: entrainement oral de kelleher, postée le 16-05-2008 à 12:45:24 (S | E)
    Un verbe comme propose to ou have to, want to est suivi d' un infinitif, et apres du complement.

    I went during about 3 weeks with 15 others teenagers that I didn’t know (un autre mot R.......r, les emplacement ne sont pas suffisants, ;) je ne vois pas, c'est un mot pour remplacer le verbe know ?).
    ouhps, c est un verbe commence par un R et fini par un r en francais devrait etre plus facile comme ca.

    Pourquoi je dois écrire "after he have been spending" ? Pour éviter de mettre des "to" je dosi donc faire mes phrases à la forme passives alors ?

    Lien Internet


    Noter que l’on peut employer la forme progressive pour insister sur la durée de l’action

    She has been living here for five years
    attention have been accordeed
    Oui, mais tu peux aussi utilise d autres verbe que want, i have to, travel to qui viennent facilement a l esprit.
    schools propose to '' ''' '''
    schools can provide (provide peut etre utilise seul) some school exchanges overseas '''

    comme ca tu ameliore ton vocabulaire c est le plus important, a l'oral ce qui compte c est ton flux de parole si tu fait des erreurs de langue ou de grammaire, elles passeront mieux. Ton interlocuteur accepte tes errreurs si il ne trouve pas ton discours ennuyeux et trop hesitant, et un autre point crucial et si toi tu le comprends.
    l'important n'est pas d'avoir un anglais parfait mais d'avoir un anglais "fluent". Evidemment, les deux c est mieux.



    Réponse: entrainement oral de mariek123, postée le 16-05-2008 à 18:45:15 (S | E)
    Je suis anglaise, et je dirais:

    "The First Holiday" is an extract from a book which was written by Monica Ali and adapted from Brick Lane in 2003.
    The text deals with Chanu's first proper holiday in London.
    Chanu has lived in London for half of his life. He has never seen the capital properly, only the Houses of Parliament in 1979. So he decided to go sightseeing. He needed much equipment like a tourist.
    He travels with Nazneen, who may be his wife, and 2 children.

    I think it is strange that he only properly sees his city after 20 or 30 years. Besides his city is the capital and there are a lot of famous monuments like… There are many tourists who visit London although they don't live there, and that's why I don’t understand why he doesn’t know his own city.
    I think it’s a shame for him not to have seen his city properly after having spent half of his life there.
    Maybe some people work too hard and as a result they don’t have any time for holidays. But I think that in spite of everything it should be possible to take a drive in his city at the weekend, for example.

    Of course it was in 1979, but if I compare it to France, the working population have been granted 4 weeks of annual paid holiday since 1968.
    At present there are more and more people and teenagers who travel. In fact, schools propose teenagers should travel abroad more in order to learn languages, for example ERASMUS. Moreover there are also more and more school exchanges abroad.
    For my part, I travelled to Germany to stay with my penfriend. I think it’s educational because you discover each others' customs, each others' ways of life, and food.
    Besides I have had the opportunity to travel to a lot of countries, for example Norway and Sweden, Greece and Sicily. I stayed in holiday camps organized by my father’s work. I stayed for about 3 weeks with 15 other teenagers that I didn’t know. And we camped and we travelled across the countries by minibus. I still have beautiful memories of those journeys.

    -------------------
    Modifié par mariek123 le 16-05-2008 18:46


    Réponse: entrainement oral de chacharlotte, postée le 17-05-2008 à 09:56:39 (S | E)
    Merci pour ces corrections mais Kelleher je suis trop nulle aux devinettes,c'est quoi ce verbe R....r ?
    Quels verbes pourrais-je écrire à la place de have to et travel to ?


    Réponse: entrainement oral de kelleher, postée le 17-05-2008 à 10:46:35 (S | E)
    Salut,
    le verbe est rencontrer, qui modifie ta phrase mais pas le sens.

    Pour have to c'est pas évident, mais travel to => I visit.
    On dit souvent lorsqu'on s'exprime I want to go somewhere, mais tu peux utiliser le futur I will go somewhere, Il y a une différence de nuance,mais ne pas contracter le will dans ce cas là.

    Ce n'est pas applicable à tous les cas.


    Réponse: entrainement oral de chacharlotte, postée le 17-05-2008 à 11:31:04 (S | E)
    ok merci beaucoup




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