Wanna go back (1)

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Wanna go back
Message de tidus10 posté le 21-08-2008 à 10:31:44 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,

Pouvez vous me corriger ces quelques lignes s'il vous plait.

It’s always the same, with different starts
That haunts me in my heart of hearts
I try to get these mistakes out of my mind
But I see how we sail close to the wind

Underneath this new sky of dust
I’m suffering ‘cause I loose trust
I feel alone
‘Cause I need life of my own

Wanna go back in a world less wrong
I need to be free
Wanna go back where a belong
I need to be me
Bring me there

I’m searching for this world to fade
Just new words I can said
To stop these minds of rage
Lock up for ever in this cage


Je veux juste que l'on me corrige mon anglais, tout en gardant les rimes de fin de phrase.

Merci.

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Réponse: Wanna go back de TravisKidd, postée le 21-08-2008 à 16:31:04 (S | E)
- "Mind" does not rhyme with the noun "wind" (although "mind" does rhyme with the verb "(to) wind")
- "lose" (not "loose")
- "go back to a world"
- I think you mean "where I belong".
- "I can said" is incorrect.
- "Locked up forever"

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