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    Childhood (Correction) (1)

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    Childhood (Correction)
    Message de loupevivante posté le 30-11-2008 à 23:15:32 (S | E | F)

    Please, could you correct my mistakes?

    Childhood is a magic period of our life, which seems to pass in no time because of that kind of naivety, which haunts children. They grow up in an imaginary world, which gives them a certain peace of mind that nobody except them can understand.

    It was in that imaginary world that I found the games I played when I was a child. I represented the living proof that toys were not essential to children in order that they had fun! I discovered, as the years went by, that we could do so many things with our mind than with objects…

    My room could represent a class as a hospital. My house’s back courtyard was sometimes a desert, and other times a jungle. I didn’t need any accessories, things took place in my head because of my fertile imagination. Sometimes, I didn’t even feel the need to talk because every actions happened in my mind. Therefore, never during my childhood I was bored thanks to my sister, with was my games partner, and my imagination, which always kept me nimble.

    My sister represented, for me, the better friend I never had because we shared the same ideas, the same mind. As me, she liked to invent her games world, which changed, evolved, as the days went by because of the new knowledge she acquired. That knowledge touched (concerned) her moral aspect (her manners) as much as her know-how. The same situation happened to me, which allowed my sister and me to become in no time responsible and realist facing to the different events that life puts on our way. In short, we sponged off our childlike mind while it was still time, which allowed us to make the most of that unique period of our life.

    In conclusion, concerning that field, I was a dirt cheap child!
    -------------------
    Modifié par bridg le 01-12-2008 06:45
    Titre distinctif


    Réponse: Childhood (Correction) de laure95, postée le 01-12-2008 à 11:50:29 (S | E)
    Bonjour, voici ce que tu dois corriger:

    Childhood is a magic period of (in) our life, which seems to pass in no time ? because of that kind of naivety, which haunts children. They grow up in an imaginary world, which gives them a certain peace of mind that nobody except them can understand.

    It was (is) in that imaginary world that I found (je mettrai plutôt le present perfect) the games I played with when I was a child. I represented ? the living proof that toys were not essential to children in order that they had fun! I discovered (présent perfect), as the years went by, that we could (utiliser BE ABLE TO ou MANAGE TO) do so many things with our mind than (rather than) with objects…

    My room could represent a class as a hospital. My house’s back courtyard was sometimes a desert, and other times a jungle. I didn’t need any accessories, things took place in my head because of my fertile imagination. Sometimes, I didn’t even feel the need to talk because every actions happened in my mind. Therefore, never pas à la bonne place) during my childhood I was bored thanks to my sister, with was my games partner, and my imagination, which always kept (present perfect) me nimble.

    My sister represented, for me, the better (superlatif) friend I never had (present perfect) because we shared the same ideas, the same mind. As me, she liked to invent her games world, which changed, evolved, as the days went by because of the new knowledge she acquired. That knowledge touched (concerned) her moral aspect (her manners) as much as her know-how. The same situation happened to me, which allowed my sister and me to become in no time responsible and realist facing to the different events that life puts on our way. In short, we sponged off our childlike mind while it was still time, which allowed us to make the most of that unique period of our life ?.

    In conclusion, concerning that field, I was a dirt cheap child!





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