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    Correction /artificial heart (1)

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    Correction /artificial heart
    Message de loupevivante posté le 05-12-2008 à 01:26:17 (S | E | F)

    Hello Could you correct that text quickly please? Thank you

    This biomaterial artificial heart is related to homo faber because it was created by a team of aerospace engineers. The idea of this prototype comes from human mind. These people who did that heart must think about every minute details because without that creation state, the patients who will receive that heart could die. This invention improves the quality of life.

    Both elephants and plastic bags are related to environment area. First, there are not many elephants on earth, but they are essential to our world development, they form a part of our biodiversity. So, we should take care about their health. Also, plastic bags become a world problem. There are too much of them on the earth. When we produce those bags, we pollute our planet because they are made with oil. In addition, when we use them only one time, we throw them away and it’s why they form garbage dumps where elephants eat them and die. So, these bags are dangerous for our environment and they do not participate to maintain an environment fit for the future.

    The fact that this restaurant has started offering a lunchtime anti-crisis menu for just one euro is related with community service because this act helps customers face up to the sharp economic slowdown. This restaurant doesn’t want to make profit, it is just hoping to help his community to get through that economic crisis without big difficulty. The owners want to make an effective contribution to society.

    Women played and play always a very role in our society. Because of them, we solved some problems in the pass and we got through big difficulties. For example, without their implication during the two World Wars, nobody was able to defend his country. However, our society didn’t consider that important fact. But, it’s very important to achieve equality to live in a great community. So, we should educate people around us about women’s rights for that! It’s why that article is related to health and social education area.

    By teaching yoga to children, the authorities of India help them to reduce the prevalence of diseases such as diabetes and hypertension. They allow these children to learn how take care of themselves. It’s certain that they can just say that information to these students, but they will forget it more quickly than by learning yoga. Also, yoga is more attractive for children than sheets and papers with information on them. So, it is another way to teach, to show something to these kids. It’s why that fact is related with approaches to learning.

    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 05-12-2008 06:16
    titre



    Réponse: Correction /artificial heart de laure95, postée le 05-12-2008 à 12:14:10 (S | E)
    Bonjour, voici ce que tu dois reprendre:
    This biomaterial artificial heart is related to homo faber because it was created by a team of aerospace engineers. The idea of this prototype comes from human mind. These people who did (mets 1 verbe + précis) that heart must think about every minute details because without that creation state, the patients who will receive that heart could die. This invention improves (changer de temps) the quality of life.

    Both elephants and plastic bags are related to environment area ?. First, there are not many elephants on earth, but they are essential to our world development, they form a part of our biodiversity. So, we should take care about their health. Also, plastic bags become (present perfect ou present progressif) a world problem. There are too much (much pour les noms indénombrables) of them on the earth. When we produce those bags, we pollute our planet because they are made with oil. In addition, when we use them only one time (une fois = once), we throw them away and it’s (that's) why they form garbage dumps where elephants eat them and die. So, these bags are dangerous for our environment and they do not participate to maintain an environment fit for the future.

    The fact that this restaurant has started offering a lunchtime anti-crisis menu for just one euro is related with (to) community service because this act helps customers to face up to the sharp economic slowdown. This restaurant doesn’t want to make profit, it is just hoping (hope: verbe d'état donc pas en -ing) to help his community to get through that economic crisis without big difficulty (pluriel!). The owners want to make an effective contribution to the society.

    Women have played and play always (place de l'adverbe de fréquence!) a very important role in our society. Because of (thanks to) them, we solved some problems in the pass ? and we got through big difficulties. For example, without their implication during the two World Wars, nobody was able to defend his country. However, our society didn’t consider that important fact. But, it’s very important to achieve equality to live in a great community. So, we should educate people around us about women’s rights for that! It’s (that's why) why that article is related to health and social education area ?.

    By teaching yoga to children, the authorities of India help them to reduce the prevalence of diseases such as diabetes and hypertension. They allow these children to learn how to take care of themselves. It’s certain that they can just say (change de verbe) that information to these students, but they will forget it more quickly than by learning yoga. Also, yoga is more attractive for children than sheets and papers with information on them. So, it is another way to teach, to show something to these kids. It’s (that's) why that fact is related with (to




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