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    Correction Jennifer cavelleri (1)

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    Correction Jennifer cavelleri
    Message de pop68 posté le 10-01-2009 à 16:31:06 (S | E | F)

    bonjour, me revoilà mais avec la suite de mon dm, je sais c'est un peu long et j'en suis vraiment désolée. Mais si vous poueeiez m'aider à me corriger ( encore une fois) s'il vous plait :$ Merci énormément.

    My favourite character is Jennifer. Firstly, she's fond of music and she's ambitious : she decides to go to Paris to study with a music teacher. In addition, she's not like the others girls who are in love with a sportsman. I think it's because of that ,Oliver falls in love with her. She doesn't like this kind of men and she resists to Oliver. When I started reading this short story, I thought the girl would be crazy about him from the first meeting. On the contrary, she's scorn because he lokks stupid and rich. Furthermore, I like her praudness; she doesn't hesitate to say what she thinks to Oliver. I love her culture : when he told her his name, she made a reference to the writer unlike other people would think of the building at H. University. She's quite simply unlike the other stupid girls.



    A book rich in love and moving moments, easy to understand ,t he author learn to us tragedies of life aren’t in the whole, bad.
    From the beginnig, we learn the death of Jenny . I think it’s interesting for the readers , brings to them suspense and they want to know why she’s dead. When you begin reading this book, you can’t stop it. As far as me, I think the characters are not typical ( except Oliver’s father ) as compared to the others one you can find in a book. In each page, you’re surprised of the reaction, decision of Jenny or Oliver and you can’t bore yourself.
    Firstly, I love the first meeting of Jenny and Oliver. They are so different, I would never think they would fall in love each other. Jenny is very scorn and oliver doesn’t like the way of her talking of him although she’s doesn’t know him. To put it bluntly, I think it’s nice to read a book which is not too romantic. I love the admiration of Oliver to Jenny. Of course, he doesn’t like her but basically he’s glad to meet a girl who is different of the others. It’s a very beautiful story which mixed love, reconciliation and tragedy. It’s all what I like. When a tragedy hurts the lovers, you feel close to them, feel their suffering and it’s the same for the happy moments !
    To my mind, this story is stable : there’s not too much love or sadness. At the end, Jenny’s death permits the reconciliation of Oliver and his father .It’s a magnificent moment with lots of tenderness. The passion of Oliver to Jenny lies in the acts of him : he did what she had always wanted and what she had learned to him .



    Merci pour tout. Biensur vous n'etes pas obligé de tout lire !! Un seul des deux textes me suffira amplement. En tout cas merci encore. Je sais j'en demande énormément mais c'est un gros dm avec un fort coefficient. Donc voilà merci pour tout (l)





    Réponse: Correction Jennifer cavelleri de laure95, postée le 10-01-2009 à 18:08:28 (S | E)
    Bonsoir,
    Nous sommes plusieurs à pouvoir t'aider à te corriger, donc ne t'inquiète pas, tu n'en demandes pas trop et tes textes ne sont pas trop longs du fait que tu nous les donnes en plusieurs fois:
    Voici ce que tu dois reprendre (en rouge):
    My favourite character is Jennifer. Firstly, she's fond of music and she's ambitious : she decides to go to Paris to study with a music teacher. In addition, she's not like the others girls who are in love with a sportsman. I think it's because of that (for that reason that) ,Oliver falls in love with her. She doesn't like this kind of men and she resists to Oliver. When I started reading this short story, I thought (je mettrais le prétérit en be+-ing) the girl would be crazy about him right from the (their) first meeting. On the contrary, she's scorn because he lokks stupid and rich. Furthermore, I like her praudness; she doesn't hesitate to say what she thinks to Oliver. I love her culture ? : when he told her his name, she made a reference to the writer unlike other people would think of the building at H. University. She's quite simply unlike the other stupid girls (girls who are stupid).


    A (this) book is rich in love and moving moments,. it is easy to understand ,t he author learn (teaches) to us the tragedies of life aren’t in the whole, bad.
    From the beginnig, we learn the death of Jenny . I think it’s interesting for the readers , it brings to them suspense and they want to know why she’s dead. When you begin reading this book, you can’t stop doing it. As far as for me, I think the characters are not typical ( except Oliver’s father ) as compared to the others one you can find in a (the) book. In each page, you’re surprised of (by) the reaction, decision of Jenny or Oliver and you can’t bore yourself (get bored).
    Firstly, I love the first meeting of Jenny and Oliver. They are so different, I would never think they would fall in love with each other. Jenny is very scorn and oliver doesn’t like the way of her talking of him although she’s doesn’t know him. To put it bluntly, I think it’s nice to read a book which is not too romantic. I love the admiration of Oliver to Jenny. Of course, he doesn’t like her but basically he’s glad to meet a girl who is different of (from) the others. It’s a very beautiful story which mixed love, reconciliation and tragedy. It’s all what I like. When a tragedy hurts the lovers, you feel close to them, feel their suffering and it’s the same for the happy moments !
    To my mind, this story is stable : there’s not too much love or sadness. At the end, Jenny’s death permits the reconciliation of Oliver and his father .It’s a magnificent moment with lots of tenderness. The passion of Oliver to (Oliver's passion for jenny) Jenny lies in the acts of him ?: he did what she had always wanted and what she had learned to (from) him .




    Réponse: Correction Jennifer cavelleri de pop68, postée le 10-01-2009 à 18:54:10 (S | E)

    Merci pour tout Vous etes tous supers !

    Mais j'ai encore quelques petites questions :$

    En fait pour la phrase : she doesn't hesitate to say what she thinks to Oliver. I love her culture ? J'voulais dire que j'aime qu'elle ai de la culture . Mais je ne suis pas sure de la bonne manière de le dire.

    Je voulais aussi dire que les tragédies de la vie ne sont pas totalement mauvaises. the tragedies of life aren’t in the whole, bad

    Oliver's passion for jenny Jenny lies in Oliver's acts: Et ici que la passion d'oliver pour jenny se retrouve dans ses actes.




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