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    Text correction- stylistic touch (1)

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    Text correction- stylistic touch
    Message de mikhail posté le 02-03-2009 à 14:08:19 (S | E | F)

    Hi there,

    I am translating my home assignment - an amazing text about SOY BEANS lol

    It looks ok, but I do think a native speaker could easily reveal some inaccuracies.

    So, it would be great if somebody could have a look at it at and maybe give me a couple of comments.

    Thanks a lot=)
    _____________________________________________________

    Not only did Henry Ford, a famous automanufacturer, promote soy plastic, soy varnishes and soy paints for motor cars, but also he used to wear clothes made of soy fibers! And nowadays the soy is used for manufacturing plastic, medicines, biofuel, in textile, soap-producing, perfumery, pharmaceutical, food and many other industries. Moreover, consumption of soy protein has greatly increased within 20 years.

    In the antiquity in South-East Asia countries it was a custom to scatter soy beans on the floor on the New Years’ eve to scare away the evil spirits and to welcome the good ones. “Great beans” – soy beans in Chinese interpretation – were first cultivated in China. A mythological emperor Shen-Nun who lived 4320 years ago was teaching in one of his medicine scrolls that soy along with rice, wheat, barley and millet is one of five sacred plants. Even Chinese emperors would sow the seeds of these plants during solemn ceremonies. Surprisingly enough, already thousands of years ago Chinese, Japanese, Korean and Manchurian people knew an innumerable number of recipes of various medicines based on soy.

    The first fermented soy products to appear at the beginning of III c. AD were salted black beans. And these beans which turn black by salting are still a part of Chinese cuisine. “Things a person could not live a day without are woods, rice, vegetable oil, salt, soy sauce, vinegar and tea” – says the Chinese wisdom. A traditional process of manufacturing soy sauce can take from six months to two years. And this sauce greatly assists digestion of rough vegetable food, stimulates digestion, improves food taste and increases appetite.

    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 02-03-2009 14:13
    Sorry, I'm not a native English speaker !


    Réponse: Text correction- stylistic touch de azer3, postée le 02-03-2009 à 18:29:28 (S | E)
    Bonjour,
    Voici quelques éléments de correction.
    Not only did Henry Ford, a famous automanufacturer, promote soy plastic/l'adjectif se place avant le sujet/, soy varnishes and soy paints for motor cars, but also he used to wear clothes made of/with/ soy fibers! And nowadays the soy is used for manufacturing plastic, medicines, biofuel, in textile, soap-producing, perfumery, pharmaceutical, food and many other industries. Moreover, consumption of soy protein has greatly increased within 20 years.

    In the antiquity in South-East Asia countries/virgule/ it was a custom to scatter soy beans on the floor on the New Years’ eve to scare away the evil spirits and to welcome the good ones. “Great beans” – soy beans in Chinese interpretation – were first cultivated in China. A mythological emperor Shen-Nun who lived 4320 years ago was teaching in one of his medicine scrolls that soy along with rice, wheat, barley and millet is one of the five sacred plants. Even Chinese emperors would sow the seeds of these plants during solemn ceremonies. Surprisingly enough, already thousands of years ago Chinese, Japanese, Korean and Manchurian people knew an innumerable number of recipes of various medicines based on soy.

    The first fermented soy products to appear at the beginning of III c. AD were salted black beans. And these beans which turn black by salting are still a part of Chinese cuisine. “Things a person could not live a day without are woods, rice, vegetable oil, salt, soy sauce, vinegar and tea” – says the Chinese wisdom. A traditional process of manufacturing soy sauce can take from six months to two years. And this sauce greatly assists digestion of rough vegetable food, stimulates digestion, improves food taste and increases appetite.
    Vérifie l'emplacement des adjectifs..

    -------------------
    Modifié par azer3 le 02-03-2009 18:30


    Réponse: Text correction- stylistic touch de mikhail, postée le 02-03-2009 à 21:39:20 (S | E)
    THANKS A LOT=)


    Réponse: Text correction- stylistic touch de brettdallen, postée le 03-03-2009 à 01:03:50 (S | E)
    Hello Mikhail,
    As you did a very good job, there are few corrections to make! besides, the topic quite interesting in itself!

    Not only did Henry Ford, a famous automanufacturer(good, or "car manufacturer"), promote soy plastic, soy varnishes(the plural is not necessary, unless you think of varieties) and soy paints(same comment) for motor cars, but also(after "he") he used to wear clothes made of(it's correct) soy fibers! And nowadays the(no article needed) soy is used for manufacturing plastic, medicines, biofuel, in textile, soap-producing, perfumery, pharmaceutical, food and many other industries(from "for manufacturing " to industries": be careful about the syntax!). Moreover, consumption of soy protein has greatly increased within(good, or "in the last") 20 years.

    In the(not necessary) antiquity in South-East Asia countries it was a custom to scatter soy beans on the floor on the New Years’("Year's") eve to scare away the evil spirits and to welcome the good ones. “Great beans” – soy beans in Chinese interpretation – were first cultivated (or "grown", less formal)in China. A mythological emperor Shen-Nun who lived 4320 years ago was teaching("taught" ou "used to teach") in one of his medicine scrolls that soy along with rice, wheat, barley and millet is("was") one of five sacred plants. Even Chinese emperors would sow the seeds of these plants during solemn ceremonies. Surprisingly enough, already(better before "knew") thousands of years ago Chinese, Japanese, Korean and Manchurian people knew an innumerable number of recipes of various medicines based on soy.

    The first fermented soy products to appear at the beginning of III c. AD were salted black beans. And these beans which turn black by salting are still a part of Chinese cuisine. “Things a person could not live a day without are woods, rice, vegetable oil, salt, soy sauce, vinegar and tea” – says the Chinese wisdom. A traditional process of manufacturing soy sauce can take from six months to two years. And this sauce greatly assists digestion of rough vegetable food, stimulates digestion(so here, it's in general? or you could stick the verb to "assists"), improves food taste and increases appetite.

    Hope this helps, bye!



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