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    City Council of Lille /Correction

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    City Council of Lille /Correction
    Message de antoine02 posté le 24-11-2009 à 18:53:16 (S | E | F)

    Bonjour ! Pourriez-vous me corriger quelques fautes sur ce texte ? Je pense qu'il y en a énormément, je vous demande pas forcément de tout corriger, mais au moins de me dire les quelques plus graves, comme ça je ne les ferais plus. Merci

    The subject of my dissertation is The City Council of Lille from 1750 to 1774. First, Il will talk about the history of Lille in the modern era. Then, Il will present the city of Lille in the eighteenth century. Finally, I will talk about the municipal power in the city of Lille.

    In early modern times the city of Lille is in the Netherlands who became Spanish after the Pragmatic Sanction of 1549. In the sixteenth century, the city suffered wars of religion and the plague. In 1667, the city is besieged by Vauban and became French in 1668 by the treaty of Aix-la-Chapelle. Vauban was appointed governor of Lille.
    During the war of Spanish succession, Lille is besieged by John Churchill, 1rst Duke of Marlborough. Lille garrison, commanded by Marshal Boufflers, capitulates. The city is occupied for 5 years by troops of the European coalition and is returned to France at the treaty of Utrecht of April 1713.
    Lille in the eighteenth century is regarded as “The Paris of the Netherlands”. In 1714, a passenger said “It is the capital of French Flanders”. Many descriptions dating from the eighteenth century glorify the city. For example, Abbe Expilly, in his “dictionary of Gauls”: “This city, big, strong, beautiful and rich”. He described the citadel and the district created by Vauban. He appreciates the City Hall. The city of Lille has a population of about sixty thousand inhabitants in the eighteenth century which there are exactly sixty four thousand four hundred thirty nine in year seventeen forty-nine.
    They are divided into seven parishes: Saint-Etienne, Saint-Maurice, Sainte-Catherine, Saint-Sauveur, Saint-André, Saint-Pierre et La Madeleine. It is strongly affected by poverty. Approximately one third of the population is considered poor. In seventeen forty-three opens hospital general for assistance to the poor.

    The monarchy is present in the city one side by the governor general. It governs the Flanders and Hainaut. An intendant is also present. It has the primary function of maintaining order and bringing in money in the generality of Lille.

    The main institution of local government to Lille is the City council, called Magistrat. It possesses administrative, financial and judicial powers. The magistrate is mainly composed of noble and merchants. It meets several times a month (there are seventy eight meetings for the year seventeen fifty). It mentioned issues such as public works (for example, in seventeen fifty-three to be building a new channel for Deûle which give rise to many decisions), the assistance to the poor, the guilds, welcoming personalities and taxes. These decisions are then listed in records arranged chronologically. In good condition, it is these records which are the main source of my dissertation.


    -------------------
    Modifié par bridg le 24-11-2009 18:58


    Réponse: City Council of Lille /Correction de seb06000, postée le 24-11-2009 à 19:21:26 (S | E)
    bonsoir,

    je vous indique cela

    The subject of my dissertation is The City Council of Lille from 1750 to 1774. First, I will talk about the history of Lille in the modern era. Then, Il( pronom sujet 'I) will present the city of Lille in the eighteenth century. Finally, I will talk about the municipal power in the city of Lille.

    In early modern times the city of Lille is (temps) in the Netherlands who (relatif) became Spanish after the Pragmatic Sanction (voc) of 1549. In the sixteenth century, the city suffered (il manque une préposition après Suffer) wars of religion and the plague. In 1667, the city is besieged by Vauban and became French in 1668 by the treaty of Aix-la-Chapelle. Vauban was appointed governor of Lille.
    During the war of Spanish succession, Lille is besieged by John Churchill, 1rst Duke of Marlborough. Lille garrison, commanded by Marshal Boufflers, capitulates. The city is occupied for 5 years by troops of the European coalition and is returned ( la forme passive est inutile) to France at the treaty of Utrecht of April 1713.

    Lille in the eighteenth century is regarded as “The Paris of the Netherlands”. In 1714, a passenger said “It is the capital of French Flanders”. Many descriptions dating from the eighteenth century glorify the city. For example, Abbe Expilly, in his “dictionary of Gauls”: “This city, big, strong, beautiful and rich”. He described the citadel and the district created by Vauban. He appreciates the City Hall. The city of Lille has a population of about sixty thousand inhabitants in the eighteenth century which there( Which n'est pas correct) are exactly sixty four thousand four hundred thirty nine in year seventeen forty-nine.

    They ( qui They?) are divided into seven parishes: Saint-Etienne, Saint-Maurice, Sainte-Catherine, Saint-Sauveur, Saint-André, Saint-Pierre et La Madeleine. It is strongly affected by poverty. Approximately one third of the population is considered poor. In seventeen forty-three opens hospital general for assistance to the poor.

    The monarchy is present in the city one side by the governor general. It governs the Flanders and Hainaut. An intendant is also present. It has the primary function of maintaining order and bringing in money in the generality of Lille.

    The main institution of local government to Lille is the City council, called Magistrat( est-ce que le Magistrat est l'institution principale? c'est une fonction je crois bien) . It possesses administrative, financial and judicial powers. The magistrate is mainly composed of noble and merchants. It meets several times a month (there are seventy eight meetings for the year seventeen fifty). It mentioned issues such as public works (for example, in seventeen fifty-three to be building a new channel for Deûle which give ( temps) rise to many decisions), the assistance to the poor, the guilds, welcoming personalities and taxes. These decisions are then listed in records arranged chronologically. In good condition, it is these records which (je simplifierais: this records are the main...) are the main source of my dissertation.


    Finalement, il n'y a pas tant de fautes que cela!

    Amicalement

    seb ( un ancien andrésien....)



    Réponse: City Council of Lille /Correction de gerondif, postée le 24-11-2009 à 19:43:32 (S | E)
    Bonjour !
    le texte dont vous vous inspirez était-il au présent de narration, parce que vous passez souvent du présent au passé et celà me gêne :
    par exemple: au début de l'époque moderne, La ville de Lille fait partie des les Pays Bas qui deviendront espagnols en 1549. Vous, vous commencez au présent puis passez au prétérit, moi je mettrais tout au prétérit. Sinon, restez au présent ou au futur.

    Sinon, vous n'avez pas tant de fautes que celà mais je ne touche qu'à vos temps!

    The subject of my dissertation is The City Council of Lille from 1750 to 1774. First, Il will talk about the history of Lille in the modern era. Then, Il will present the city of Lille in the eighteenth century. Finally, I will talk about the municipal power in the city of Lille.

    In early modern times,the city of Lille is (WAS PART OF) in the Netherlands who (ne convient pas comme relatif) became Spanish after the Pragmatic Sanction of 1549. In the sixteenth century, the city suffered wars of religion and the plague. In 1667, the city is(WAS) besieged by Vauban and became French in 1668 by the treaty of Aix-la-Chapelle. Vauban was appointed governor of Lille.
    During the war of Spanish succession, Lille is(WAS) besieged by John Churchill, 1st Duke of Marlborough. Lille garrison, commanded by Marshal Boufflers, capitulates(CAPITULATED). The city is (WAS) occupied for 5 years by troops of the European coalition and (WAS)is returned to France at(with) the treaty of Utrecht of April 1713.
    Lille in the eighteenth century is(WAS) regarded as “The Paris of the Netherlands”. In 1714, a passenger said “It is the capital of French Flanders”. Many descriptions dating from the eighteenth century glorify the city. For example, Abbe Expilly, in his “dictionary of Gauls”,SAID: “This city, big, strong, beautiful and rich”. He described the citadel and the district created by Vauban. He appreciates(APPRECIATED) the City Hall. The city of Lille has (HAD) a population of about sixty thousand inhabitants in the eighteenth century and there are(WERE) exactly sixty four thousand,four hundred AND thirty nine INHABITANTS in seventeen forty-nine.
    They are(WERE) divided into seven parishes: Saint-Etienne, Saint-Maurice, Sainte-Catherine, Saint-Sauveur, Saint-André, Saint-Pierre et La Madeleine. It (Que représente ce it: la ville, ou les paroisses)is(WAS) strongly affected by poverty. Approximately one third of the population is(WAS) considered poor. In seventeen forty-three, opens (ne pas inverser le verbe comme en français) a general hospital for assistance to the poor.

    The monarchy is present in the city one side by (aux côtés de ? )the governor general. It governs (the) Flanders and Hainaut. An intendant is also present. It has the primary function of maintaining order and bringing in money in the generality of Lille.

    The main institution of local government to Lille is the City council, called Magistrat. It possesses administrative, financial and judicial powers. The magistrate is mainly composed of nobles and merchants. It meets several times a month (there are seventy-eight meetings for the year seventeen fifty). It mentioned issues such as public works (for example, in seventeen fifty-three to be building (la construction d'un nouveau canal ? channel est un canal satellite)a new channel for Deûle which give rise(verbe et conjugaison) to many decisions), the assistance to the poor, the guilds, welcoming personalities and taxes. These decisions are then listed in records arranged chronologically. In good condition, it is these records which are the main source of my dissertation.


    Réponse: City Council of Lille /Correction de cecil_ward, postée le 25-11-2009 à 12:36:30 (S | E)
    > Il
    -> "I'll" (or "I will" which is perhaps more appropriate for an essay, less conversational)


    > the city of Lille .. in the Netherlands who became Spanish
    -> , _which_ became Spanish (not "who", because it is not a person)

    > returned to France at/with
    - the preposition needs to be "with"

    > a passenger said
    [?] "a visitor" ? (or "a traveller"?)

    (to use "passenger" you would need to establish a concept of some mode of transport that carries people, a carriage, ship, plane, train etc)

    > "dictionary of Gauls"
    - "of The Gauls" (definite article required)

    Is this the "Dictionnaire géographique, historique et politique des Gaules et de la France" ?

    Many writers would leave this title untranslated.

    [ Is this a correct word choice? De Expilly perhaps thought so. "Gauls" are people of ancient Celtic tribes that occupied the area that became the Roman province of Gallia now of course modern France. In English "a Gaul" is a person from a Gaulish tribe, "Gaulish" is their Celtic language, "Gaulish" is an adjective and "Gaul" is the region. Gaulish culture and their language were of course long gone. ]


    > sixty four thousand,four hundred AND thirty nine
    would probably be written with digits as it's too long otherwise

    > INHABITANTS in seventeen forty-nine.
    dates are always written with digits not in words


    > general hospital
    "a general hospital (was) opened.."

    > The monarchy is present in the city
    - don't understand this; I'm guessing "is represented in.." [?] (ie. the monarchy has a representative in the city, who is xxx)

    > It governs
    "he governs" (if this refers to "the governor general")
    but "it" if you are referring to "monarchy"

    [- note old Norman French word order present in English :-) here, with adjective after the noun. Quite correctly used here, and preserved in a few fixed expressions. (Eng. "the Attorney General")]

    > in the generality of Lille
    ? don't understand this - word choice

    > local government to Lille
    preposition needs to be "in"

    -- need to keep to past tense in last paragraph ("_was_ the City Council" .. was mainly" .. "It met several" etc



    > mentioned ... to be building a new channel
    "mentioned ... _the building of_ a new canal"
    Example: the local people all opposed [the building of a new airport]. (where "the building" means "the construction project/activity")

    > to many decisions
    - [?] don't understand this - need to rework/rethink this phrase

    > In good condition, it is these records which are the main source of my dissertation.
    - word order
    The following would be more natural and easier to read :-

    "These records, which are in good condition, are the main source..."

    or
    "It is these records, which are in good condition, that are the main source..."

    On the whole, excellent.













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