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    Old values ?

    << Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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    Old values ?
    Message de blackberry posté le 09-04-2010 à 01:10:23 (S | E | F)

    Bonjour tout le monde,
    j'ai un "essay" à faire sur la question suivante :
    "Some people believe that we should go back to old values and enforce more discipline and respect in schools today. Do you agree ?"
    Voilà ma composition, je voudrais que vous m'aidiez à corriger mes fautes et à juger la qualité de mon premier "essay"
    Merci.

    "Nowadays, the discipline and the respect at school have change since Victorian’s society. Methods are not the same and the present are very fewer strict and links between teachers, pupils … Have change too. All this modifications lead to problems which didn’t exist before so the expression “old values” which is a conservative ideology are advocate by some people, for them it might be the solution to problems of discipline and respect in schools.

    In Victorian’s society, the school was very very strict. Children couldn’t speak on classroom and they have to learn their lessons by heart. If they didn’t respect this rules, they must be victims of punishment like caning, or other corporal punishment. This punishment was go with humiliation like wearing a large dunces’s cap, to stand in a corner or kneel on the floor. Punishments and humiliation are use most of the time for pupils who were late for school, didn’t work hard enough or were disrepectful. Teachers were important in this society, they were feared and respected by every children. They had many rights and they could do corporal punishment to their bad pupils. We can’t forget that in that time, religion had a big place at school, for example, the beginning and the ending of the school contained prayers.
    Nowadays, the school seems to be released. Now, pupils can easily speak on the class , the only rule is to put up one's hand for speak with the permission by the teacher. The lessons aren’t learning by heart every day, it’s only (not for every pupils) the case when there is/are test(s) in a day or else, pupils don’t know their lessons perfectly. Punishments aren’t so strict now, a pupil who doesn’t learn his lesson had a bad mark but it’s all; a pupil who speak a lot with his friend must to copy out page(s) or at worst, this pupil could be send back from the classroom. The school is more broad-minded and more understanding with its pupils. Even if teachers are respected, it’s not like before, they are not feared nowadays. Because they can’t use the violence to correct their pupils and pupils and teachers build different relationships between them. This relationship which didn’t exist or was always the same before lead to problems, some pupils turn against their teachers and they are sometimes victims of violence even if it’s infrequent. The religion mustn’t exist today, the public school must lay and so there are no prayers …
    I’m not agree with people who think that we should go back to old values and enforce more discipline and respect in schools today. I can say that before, pupils had more knowledges because they learn all by heart, they are more efficient too, they were very respectful between others. But, this way was narrow-minded and too authoritarian. Now, pupils can differentiate themselves by their personalities, they can all show their skills in every area. They maybe demonstrate interest and curiosity in the different subjects at school. I think that just few rules could be taken to enforce the respect at school because, some teachers don’t have the control of their class and some pupils profit of their weakness. The large dunce’s cap is a good method but the violence must stay forbidden in my opinion.

    Finally, going back to old values is not something that should be done. Pupils want their freedom. However, it would be great for different problems like discrimination for example which could be resolved but more discipline would bring the solution in my point of view."

    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 09-04-2010 06:06


    Réponse: Old values ? de sushis, postée le 09-04-2010 à 02:28:44 (S | E)
    Hello, là comme ça j'ai vu quelques fautes (je ne dis pas que le reste est juste bien sûr, mais comme je n'ai pas le niveau pour les voir toutes et qu'en plus ton texte est assez long... ^^) :

    "Nowadays, the discipline and the respect at school have change since Victorian’s society. Methods are not the same and the present are very fewer strict and links between teachers, pupils … Have change too. All this modifications lead to problems which didn’t exist before so the expression “old values” which is a conservative ideology are advocate by some people, for them it might be the solution to problems of discipline and respect in schools.

    In Victorian’s society, the school was very very strict. Children couldn’t speak on classroom and they have to learn their lessons by heart. If they didn’t respect this rules

    Pour les this la leçon est là : Lien Internet

    Et pour les "have change" je pense que tu trouveras tout seul
    Au cas ou revois la leçon sur les temps ça ne fait pas de mal : Lien Internet


    Et aussi une autre faute : I’m not agree with people


    Réponse: Old values ? de prescott, postée le 09-04-2010 à 06:26:10 (S | E)
    Bonjour,

    C'est intéressant mais c'est long! Alors juste une petite tranche au petit déjeuner. En rouge les grosses fautes, en bleu les constructions problématiques.
    En rose, les mauvais choix ou "mal dit":

    "Nowadays, the discipline and the respect at school have change[pp required] since Victorian's society. Methods are not the same[trouver une formule plus forte, pensez aussi à mettre des adverbes: "ont considérablement changé depuis..."] and the present are very fewer strict [OMG! ça, c'est du français!] and links between teachers, pupils …Have change too. All this modifications lead to problems which didn't exist before so the expression "old values" which is [relève d'une] a conservative ideology are advocate[pp] by some people[:] for them[,] it might be the solution to problems of [plutôt que "problem" utilisez un mot précis: au recul/manque de] discipline and respect in schools.

    En bleu:
    Court-circuit (les plombs sautent) dans cette construction entre "Nowadays"... et "since" Victorian's society. Si vous supprimez "Nowadays", le courant passe bien!

    J'espère que quelqu'un vous conseillera pour la suite.
    Bonne journée!


    Réponse: Old values ? de blackberry, postée le 09-04-2010 à 14:24:16 (S | E)
    Merci pour vos aides. Je vais reposter ici uniquement ce que j'ai changé pour ne pas surcharger le sujet ;) !

    "Discipline and respect at school have evolved since Victorian’s society. Methods have considerably changed since Victorian’s time and the present are very fewer strict and links between teachers, pupils … Have change too. All these variations lead to problems which didn’t exist before so the expression “old values” which pick up a conservative ideology are advocated by some people, for them it might be the solution to a lack of discipline and respect in schools.

    In Victorian’s society, the school was very very strict. Children couldn’t speak on classroom and they have to learn their lessons by heart. If they didn’t respect these rules"

    "I disagree"

    Par contre vous m'avez préconiser des changements mais pour certains je n'ai pas su les reformuler. Je voudrais suite à vos conseils exprimer : le verbe prôner qui est ici advocate est mal dit selon vous et l'expression "beaucoup moins stricte" qui est ici "very fewer strict" et qui est tres mauvais pour vous. Merci


    Réponse: Old values ? de ricou81, postée le 09-04-2010 à 14:35:25 (S | E)

    bonjour,

    less strict suffira





    Réponse: Old values ? de prescott, postée le 09-04-2010 à 15:06:42 (S | E)
    "advocate" est à conserver mais pas au présent, mais si vous dites "are advocate" [pp! participe passé]. Vous l'avez corrigé à présent. OK

    [Education(al)] methods have evolved...
    OK mais c'est trop évident comme affirmation, alors + un adverbe (beaucoup / considerablement)

    "...since Victorian [c'est un adjectif, donc sans " 's"] times".

    'a lot less strict" ou "much less strict"

    "links between teachers, [and> pupils … Have change [pp] too. [convient pour le langage parlé, mais pas ici]

    "The relationship between students and teachers has also changed".
    autre exemple (fictif):
    "The student-teacher relationship has also changed drastically, where teachers now need to respect students."

    Time to go to bed here,

    Bon courage!




    Réponse: Old values ? de notrepere, postée le 10-04-2010 à 06:01:54 (S | E)
    Nowadays, the discipline and the respect at school have changed since Victorian’s society the Victorian era. Methods Methodologies are not the same and the links between pupils and teachers have changed toothe present are very fewer strict and links between teachers, pupils … Have change too. All this of these modifications lead have led to problems which didn’t exist before so the expression “old values”, which is a conservative ideology, are is advocated by some people. For them it might be the solution to the problems of discipline and respect in schools.


    Réponse: Old values ? de notrepere, postée le 10-04-2010 à 06:24:16 (S | E)
    In Victorian’s society, the school was very, very strict. Children couldn’t speak on in the classroom and they have had to learn their lessons by heart. If they didn’t respect this these rules, they must be were the victims of punishment like caning, or other corporal punishment. This punishment was go with would often include humiliation like wearing a large dunces’s cap, to stand standing in a corner or kneel kneeling on the floor. Punishments and humiliation are use were used most of the time for pupils who were late for school, didn’t work hard enough or were disrespectful. Teachers were important in this society. They were feared and respected by every children. They had many rights and they could do utilize corporal punishment to for their bad pupils. We can’t forget that in at that time, religion had played a big large place role at in schools. For example, the beginning and the ending of the school contained day included prayers.


    Réponse: Old values ? de blackberry, postée le 17-04-2010 à 19:25:52 (S | E)
    Me revoila encore à vous ! Je vous poste ce qu'il me reste encore a verifier/corriger par vos soins s'il vous plait .

    Nowadays, the school seems to be released. Now, pupils can easily speak on the class , the only rule is to put up one's hand for speak with the permission by the teacher. The lessons aren’t learning by heart every day, it’s only (not for every pupils) the case when there is/are test(s) in a day or else, pupils don’t know their lessons perfectly. Punishments aren’t so strict now, a pupil who doesn’t learn his lesson had a bad mark but it’s all; a pupil who speak a lot with his friend must to copy out page(s) or at worst, this pupil could be send back from the classroom. The school is more broad-minded and more understanding with its pupils. Even if teachers are respected, it’s not like before, they are not feared nowadays. Because they can’t use the violence to correct their pupils and pupils and teachers build different relationships between them. This relationship which didn’t exist or was always the same before lead to problems, some pupils turn against their teachers and they are sometimes victims of violence even if it’s infrequent. The religion mustn’t exist today, the public school must lay and so there are no prayers …
    I disagree with people who think that we should go back to old values and enforce more discipline and respect in schools today. I can say that before, pupils had more knowledges because they learn all by heart, they are more efficient too, they were very respectful between others. But, this way was narrow-minded and too authoritarian. Now, pupils can differentiate themselves by their personalities, they can all show their skills in every area. They maybe demonstrate interest and curiosity in the different subjects at school. I think that just few rules could be taken to enforce the respect at school because, some teachers don’t have the control of their class and some pupils profit of their weakness. The large dunce’s cap is a good method but the violence must stay forbidden in my opinion.

    Finally, going back to old values is not something that should be done. Pupils want their freedom. However, it would be great for different problems like discrimination for example which could be resolved but more discipline would bring the solution in my point of view.




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