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    DM - Letter /Correction

    << Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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    DM - Letter /Correction
    Message de mikoo57 posté le 19-09-2010 à 15:06:41 (S | E | F)
    Bonjour,
    J'ai une rédaction d'Anglais à faire pour demain, je l'ai faite mais j'aimerais qu'on m'aide à corriger les fautes, qui je pense sont très nombreuses, mon Anglais étant assez mauvais.
    Merci d'avance.

    Dear Parents,
    I write you a letter to have news about you. I wish you were goog ! Soon, it's Christmas, I'm pressed to see you. Can we'll go to Calcutta ? I'd like to be with grandma and all the family. Please !
    For my part, all is good, today is the end of my first semester at Langford and I'm so happy : i received my grades. I'm proud, but I had to work harder to maintain my grades, the academic level is higher than the indian. And a lot of changes appear in my life : I have to wear a jacket in class and call teachers " masters ". I even have to go to the church on Sundays.
    But, I did all I could to adapt to the new situation : I was the only Indian student and I'm yet (people assume I was born in India, and compliment my accent !).
    Now, I practice swimming competitively and I've a lot of friends : I call them by their last name particurlarly John , with who i share my room. His parents live in London , like me he's arrived for sophomore year, and like me he was without friends . We were all the time together : in classes, to lunch ... John has a lot of qualities : honesty, generosity, humor. He's sociable, it's thank to him if today I have my other friends.
    Dad, you had reason, Langford is the best school where I'm gone. In this campus, I'm sure : I'll graduates. Thank you so much for this !
    Amit.
    PS : Dad, Do your research progressing ? I know it's very important for you, your work it's your life. Mom, I don't miss you too ? You kave to know I'm very good here, I eat well.
    -------------------
    Modifié par bridg le 19-09-2010 15:31
    Titre


    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 19-09-2010 18:45



    Réponse: DM - Letter /Correction de notrepere, postée le 19-09-2010 à 21:05:58 (S | E)
    Hello!

    Dear Parents,
    I write [present continuous] you a letter to have news about you. I wish you were goog ! Soon, it's [future] Christmas, I'm pressed [un autre mot] to see you. Can we'll [mal contraction; vous voulez dire Can we all go?] go to Calcutta? I'd like to be with grandma and all the family. Please!
    T
    For my part, all is good, [Mauvaise ponctuation: "Run-on comma splice" on doit utiliser un point et commencer une nouvelle phrase] Today is the end of my first semester at Langford and I'm so happy : [pas de deux points] i received (after receiving] my grades. I'm proud, but I had to work harder to maintain my grades, [Mauvaise ponctuation: "Run-on comma splice"; on doit utiliser un point et commencer une nouvelle phrase] The academic level is higher than the indian [Le pays ne pas le nationalié]. And a lot of changes appear [present continuous; le verbe est moche; 'happen' est mieux] in my life: [Pas d'espace avant toute la ponctuation en anglais] I have to wear a jacket in class and call teachers "masters". I even have to go to the church on Sundays.
    But, I did all I could to adapt to the new situation : I was the only Indian student and I'm yet (people assume I was born in India, and compliment my accent !).
    Now, I practice swimming competitively and I've [Pas de contraction avant 'a lot'] a lot of friends : I call them by their last name particurlarly John , with who (whom) I share my room. His parents live in London , [Mauvaise ponctuation: "Run-on comma splice"; il faut utiliser un point et commencer une nouvelle phrase] Like me he's arrived for sophomore year, and like me he was without friends. We were all the time together : in classes, to lunch ... John has a lot of qualities : [Pas de deux-points; utilisez 'such as'] honesty, generosity, and humor.

    He's sociable, and it's thank [pluriel] to him if (that) today I have my other friends.

    Dad, you had reason [Mauvaise traduction de l'expression 'Tu as raison'], Langford is the best school where I'm gone [mal dit]. In this campus, I'm sure : I'll graduates. Thank you so much for this !
    Amit.
    PS : Dad, Do ['Comment' + verbe être] your research progressing? I know it's very important for you, your work it's your life. Mom, I don't miss you too [Mal dit]? You kave [orthographe] to know I'm very good here, and I eat well.

    ------------------------------------

    Il faut éliminer la plupart de "deux-points" dans votre texte. La virgule ne doit pas être employée à séparer deux phrases. N.B. Pas d'espace avant toute la ponctuation en anglais.

    Cordialement





    Réponse: DM - Letter /Correction de gerondif, postée le 19-09-2010 à 21:24:51 (S | E)
    Bonsoir,

    Quelques microscopiques rajouts à la correction de notrepère:
    I wish you were goog
    j'espère que vous allez bien?
    to wish: souhaiter
    to hope : espérer.
    je vais bien: I am fine.
    à vous de jouer.

    Maintenant si le sens était: j'espère que vous vous êtes bien comportés, que vous n'avez pas fait de sottises (pour ranimer ce vieux mot), alors
    ("I hope you ..." + le verbe être au present perfect + good )conviendra.

    "I was the only Indian student and I'm yet"
    J'étais le seul étudiant indien et je le suis encore, je le suis toujours.

    still: encore en phrase affirmative au sens de toujours:
    not yet:pas encore, phrase négative:
    I am still working ! I haven't finished yet !
    Are you still working ? Yes, I still am (place de l'adverbe en tag)! I haven't finished yet.

    I'm very good here,I eat well.Au sens de"je suis très bien ici, je mange bien"
    justement! good = adjectif: bon.
    well = adverbe = bien.
    fine: bien au niveau santé: I am fine, I feel fine.






    Réponse: DM - Letter /Correction de mikoo57, postée le 19-09-2010 à 21:45:05 (S | E)
    Merci beaucoup à vous deux, sinon voyez-vous encore des choses à redire ?

    Dear Parents,

    I'm writing you a letter to have heard from you. I hope you will fine! Soon, it will be Christmas, I'm impatient to see you. Can we will go to Calcutta? I'd like to be with grandma and all the family. Please!
    For my part, all is good. Today is the end of my first semester at Langford and I'm so happy, after receiving my grades. I'm proud, but I had to work harder to maintain my grades. The academic level is higher than the Indian. And a lot of changes are happening in my life: I have to wear a jacket in class and call teachers "masters". I even have to go to the church on Sundays.
    But, I did all I could to adapt to the new situation : I was the only Indian student and I'm still (people assume I was born in India, and compliment my accent !).
    Now, I practice swimming competitively and I have a lot of friends : I call them by their last name particurlarly John , with whom I share my room. His parents live in London. Like me he's arrived for sophomore year, and like me he was without friends. We were all the time together : in classes, to lunch ... John has a lot of qualities such as honesty, generosity, and humor.

    He's sociable, and it's thanks to him that today I have my other friends.

    Dad, you was right, Langford is a very best school. In this campus, I'm sure : I'll graduate. Thank you so much for this !

    Amit.

    P.S. : Dad, How be your research progressing? I know it's very important for you, your work it's your life. Mom, Don't you miss me too ? You have to know I'm very well here. I eat well.



    Réponse: DM - Letter /Correction de gerondif, postée le 19-09-2010 à 22:59:07 (S | E)
    Bonsoir,
    rouge = faux. bleu = maladroit, mal placé. vert: correction cadeau

    I'm writing you a letter to have heard from you. I hope you will fine! Soon, it will be Christmas, I'm impatient to see you. Can we will go to Calcutta? I'd like to be with grandma and all the family. Please!
    For my part, all is good. Today is the end of my first semester at Langford and I'm so happy, after receiving my grades. I'm proud, but I had to work harder to maintain my grades. The academic level is higher than the Indian one. And a lot of changes are happening in my life: I have to wear a jacket in class and call teachers "masters". I even have to go to the church on Sundays.
    But, I did all I could to adapt to the new situation : I was the only Indian student and I'm still (people assume I was born in India, and compliment my accent !).
    Now, I practice swimming competitively and I have a lot of friends : I call them by their last name (prénom?? first name )particurlarly John , with whom I share my room. His parents live in London. Like me he's arrived for sophomore year, and like me he was without friends. We were all the time together(à mettre avant all the time) : in classes, to(to indique un mouvement et votre we were together non) lunch ... John has a lot of qualities such as honesty, generosity, and humor.

    He's sociable, and it's thanks to him that today I have my other friends.

    Dad, you was(attention !! I was, you were !!) right, Langford is a very best school. In this campus, I'm sure : I'll graduate. Thank you so much for this !

    Amit.
    P.S. : Dad, How be (conjuguez cet infinitif !!) your research progressing? I know it's very important for you, your work it(reprise inutile, à supprimer)'s your life. Mom, Don't you miss me too ? You have to (must serait plus fluide, have to implique une obligation contraignante)know I'm very well here. I eat well.




    Réponse: DM - Letter /Correction de nevada, postée le 20-09-2010 à 11:06:44 (S | E)
    Bonjour,
    to get some news from you ( pas to have heard from you qui est du passé !!! )

    I hope you are fine

    I' m looking forward seeing you ( c'est ainsi qu'on dit ) ( au lieu de impatient...)
    Could we go to Calcutta ( votre phrase ne veut rien dire )
    Pas for my part all is good !!!! As for me everything's fine ( quant à moi je vais bien ) ( ou simplement I'm OK , I feel fine )
    etc

    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 28-09-2010 16:45



    Réponse: DM - Letter /Correction de gerondif, postée le 20-09-2010 à 13:12:34 (S | E)
    Hello Nevada,

    I look forward to + ing: I look forward to hearing from you, I look forward to seeing you.





    Réponse: DM - Letter /Correction de nevada, postée le 27-09-2010 à 10:57:51 (S | E)
    Hello,
    Oui gérondif...You're completely right
    I'm looking forward to est la forme à utiliser avec un verbe en -ing après ou un nom
    ex I'm looking forward to reading your message
    I'm looking forward to your message .

    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 28-09-2010 16:46






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