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    Correction de ce texte niveau 3e

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    Correction de ce texte niveau 3e
    Message de deutsche12 posté le 16-10-2010 à 22:33:54 (S | E | F)
    Bonjour à tous,

    Pourriez-vous me dire si ce texte niveau 3e comporte des erreurs ? Merci d'avance !


    Once upon a time, there was a mother tiger called "Dina", who lived in the jungle, with her three babies : Kina, Fifer and Tini. She looked after them, she protected them, she loved them. As for them, they were very happy ant they felt very good with their mother.
    One day, Dina has been/was caught by poachers, while she was hunting. They put her in a cage and left to Californie ; unfortnunately, the poachers left there without knowing three babies were now alone and lost in the jungle. Kina, Fifer and Tini were very sad because their mother wasn't with them. And they never saw her again.
    Two days later, Dina arrived on a place, where stand elefunts, giraffes, rhinoceros, ... Monkeys amused (???) themselves with lianas and went from branche to branche, while turtles swam slowly. The looked happy, but Dina didn't understand why : they were closed all the time ! She didn't feel very well. She lost her babies, who were actually abandoned in the jungle. Moreover, they must be hungry, but she couldn't make anything. So she thought she wouldn't be happy anymore. Now, she was closed and she felt sad, very sad.
    When she arriverd, veterinarians had to examine her. To everbody's surprise, they found out she had had babies a month ago. They understood babies were still in the jungle.
    The days "passed" (??). Dina fell into a depression. She didn't eat very much and stayed sitting all day long. Veternarians had to make something ! According to them, Dina could feel besser if she had another babies. So the zoo keepers and the director went looking for babies tiger, vainly.
    Nearby, a few days later, two zoo keepers told the director a mother pig was died in the night and there were now foor "orphan" piglets. Quickly, the idea came to him to give these foor "orphans" to the tigress. But when he sayed it to the vets, most people laughed at this strange idea, exept one of them, who found it very intersting. For three days, they both try to find a solution to Dina doesn't eat the piglets when they will be together. And they found a solution, which appealed to everybody. So, the following day, the zoo keppers and the vets wrapped the piglets in tiger skin, to the mother believe babies were babies tiger. And it worked ! Dina accepted them and looked upon them as her own babies.

    [...]



    Réponse: Correction de ce texte niveau 3e de gerondif, postée le 17-10-2010 à 11:24:00 (S | E)
    Bonjour,
    oui, il comporte des erreurs d'orthographe, d'écriture, d'inversions de lettres,d'inventions de mots, d'écriture phonétique de mots, de mots restés en français, et de structures très calquées sur le français comme si un traducteur avait fait du mot-à-mot. Mais beaucoup de mes troisièmes ne feraient pas aussi bien ....

    Once upon a time, there was a mother tiger called "Dina", which (ok mais si on lui donne un prénom et qu'on la personnifie, paut-être pourrait-on aller jusqu'a who) lived in the south amercian jungle, the Amazon, with her three babies : Kina, Fifer and Tini. She looked after them, she protected them, she loved them. As for them, they were very happy ant they felt very well ("ils se sentaient très bien " sonne bizarre en mot-à-mot)with their mother.
    On e(vous venez d'inventer un nouvel article indéfini. "Un jour" ne se traduit pas comme cela)) day, Dina has been/was caught by poachers, while she was hunting. They put her in a cage and left to Californie ; unfortunately, (manque un article défini, ce ne sont pas n'importe quels braconniers mais les braconniers qui l'ont enlevée)poachers left there without knowing her three babies were now alone and lost in the jungle. Kina, Fifer and Tini were very sad because their mother wasn't with them. And they never saw her again.
    Two days later, Dina arrived on a place (si on prend le point de vue de la captive, on pourrait dire in a strange place where there were ...), where stand(prétérit inventé, voir liste) elefunts(nouvelle race ?), giraffes, rhinoceros(mettre au pluriel, double cliquez !), ... Monkeys amused (???) themselves (français traduit)with lianas and went from branche to branche, while turtles swam slowly. The looked happy, but Dina didn't understand why : they were closed(que voulez vous dire ? enfermées, alors c'est un autre verbe; ) all the time ! She didn't feel very well. She lost(elle perdit ses bébés ? non, ella avait perdu , plus que parfait) her babies, who were actually abandoned(non puisqu'elle a été enlevée) in the jungle. Moreover, they must be hungry, but she couldn't make anything. So she thought she wouldn't be happy anymore. Now, she was closed(fermer et différent d'enfermer) and she felt sad, very sad.
    When she arriverd, veterinarians had to examine her. To everybody's surprise, they found out she had babies a month ago.(non, elle avait eu des bébés unmois auparavant changez had et ago) They understood (article, ces bébés sont définis)babies were still in the jungle.

    The days passed(français traduit. days go by). Dina fell into a depression. She didn't eat very much and stayed sitting all day long. Veternarians had to make something ! According to them, Dina could feel besser(Ach! DaB ist Deutsch !!) ih she had another babies(un autre singulier bébés pluriel)
    à suivre.....




    Réponse: Correction de ce texte niveau 3e de gerondif, postée le 17-10-2010 à 11:33:39 (S | E)
    So the zoo keepers and the director went looking for babies tiger(dansles noms composes, sauf cas partivulier, le permier élément adjectival est invariable, le second prend le pluriel: telephone-cardes, exercise-books, baby elephants, vous avez fait le contraire), vainly.
    Nearby(signifie près de, à côté, peut-être avez vous écrit "à près" au lieu d'après"), a few days later, two zoo keepers told the director a mother pig (manque un auxiliaire)died (était morte, avait trépassé, plus que parfait donc) in the night and there were now foor(orthographe de 4)"orphans" piglets(mot composé, 1er élément invariable). Quickly, the idea came to him to give these foor "orphans" to the tigress. But when he sayed(verbe irrégulier, d'ailleurs tell irait mieux, irrégulier lui aussi) it to the vets, most people(ce mot ne représente pas vets mentionné juste avant) laughed at this strange idea, except one of them, who found it very interesting. For three days, they both try(préterit, attention au y) to find a solution to Dina doesn't eat the piglets(pour que Dina ne mange pas, construction incorrecte) when they will be(erreur de temps ) together. And
    they found a solution, which appealed(mauvais choix de verbe) to everybody. So, the following day, the zoo keepers and the vets wrapped the piglets in tiger skin, to the mother believes babies(pour que la mère croie que, mauvaise construction) are(mauvais temps)étaient !) babies tiger. And it worked ! Dina accepted them and looked upon(les considérer comme ou s'occuper de?) them as her own babies.





    Réponse: Correction de ce texte niveau 3e de deutsche12, postée le 17-10-2010 à 12:59:20 (S | E)
    Je remercie d'abord gerondif de m'aider !
    Je n'ai pas traduit un texte français sur un traducteur en ligne, j'ai écrit moi-même ce texte, sans aucune aide, et c'est pour cela que je tenais à vérifier si c'était juste. Et je constate que j'ai fait des erreurs de tape ... Mais, les erreurs sont là !

    Voici mon texte que j'ai corrigé, mais je sais qu'il doit encore y avoir des fautes ! Pourriez-vous préciser certaines notions, s'il-vous-plaît ?

    Once upon a time, there was a mother tiger called "Dina", who lived in the south amercan jungle, the Amazon, with her three babies : Kina, Fifer and Tini. She looked after them, she protected them, she loved them. As for them, they were very happy ant they felt good with their mother.
    One day, Dina has was caught by poachers, while she was hunting. They put her in a cage and left California ; unfortnunately, the poachers left there without knowing three babies were now alone and lost in the jungle. Kina, Fifer and Tini were very sad because their mother wasn't with them anymore. And they never saw her again.
    Two days later, Dina arrived on a place, where stood elephants, giraffes, rhinoceroses, ... Monkeys enjoyed themselves with lianas and went from branch to branch, while turtles swam slowly. The looked happy, but Dina didn't understand why : they were (shuted up ????) all the time ! She didn't feel very well. She had lost her babies, who were actually abandoned in the jungle. Moreover, they must be hungry, but she couldn't do anything. So she thought she wouldn't be happy anymore. Now, she was closed and she felt sad, very sad.
    When she arriverd, veterinarians had to examine her. To everybody's surprise, they found out (je ne comprends pas ce que vous avez voulu dire, pourriez-vous me réexpliquer s'il vous plaît ?) .They understood the babies were still in the jungle.
    The days went by. Dina fell into a depression. She didn't eat very much and stayed sitting all day long. Veternarians had to do something ! According to them, Dina could feel better (je fais allemand LV1, c'est pour ça !) if she had other babies. So the zoo keepers and the director went looking for baby tigers, vainly.
    Nearby (je voudrais dire Non loin de là en fait, et je ne vois pas comment le dire ...) , a few days later, two zoo keepers told the director a mother pig was died in the night and there were now for "orphan" piglets. Quickly, the idea came to him to give these for "orphans" to the tigress. But when he told it to the vets, the most laughed at this strange idea, except one of them, who found it very interesting. For three days, they both tried to find a solution so that the tigress didn't eat the piglets when they will be together (je ne vois pas du tout comment exprimer ce que je veux dire, nous n'avons pas vu cette notion ...) . And they found a solution, which appelead (pareil, nous n'avons pas vu plaire) to everybody. So, the following day, the zoo keeppers and the vets wrapped the piglets in tiger skin, so that the mother believes babies were baby tigers. And it worked ! Dina accepted them and looked upon (les considérer comme) them as her own babies.



    Réponse: Correction de ce texte niveau 3e de gerondif, postée le 17-10-2010 à 13:42:05 (S | E)
    Bon travail de correction. Bon travail pour une LV2 mais vous étiez peut-être bilangue, sinon pour une vraie LV2, ce texte serait d'un bon niveau !

    Once upon a time, there was a mother tiger called "Dina", who lived in the south American amercan jungle, the Amazon, with her three babies : Kina, Fifer and Tini. She looked after them, she protected them, she loved them. As for them, they were very happy ant they felt good (very happy) with their mother.
    One day, Dina has was caught by poachers, while she was hunting. They put her in a cage and left for California ; unfortnunately, the poachers left there without knowing(l'idée ne va pas avec without : When they left, the poachers didn't know that ....) three babies were now alone and lost in the jungle. Kina, Fifer and Tini were very sad because their mother wasn't with them any more. And they never saw her again.
    Two days later, Dina arrived on a place, where stood elephants, giraffes, rhinoceroses, ... Monkeys enjoyed themselves (were having fun with)with lianas and went from branch to branch, while turtles swam slowly. The looked happy, but Dina didn't understand why : they were (shuted up ???? horreur !! enfermer à clef: to be locked in) all the time ! She didn't feel very well. She had lost her babies, who were actually abandoned in the jungle. Moreover, they must be hungry, but she couldn't do anything. So she thought she wouldn't be happy anymore. Now, she was closed and she felt sad, very sad.
    When she arriverd, veterinarians had to examine her. To everybody's surprise, they found out (ils découvrirent qu'elle avait eu des bébés, plus que parfait, aux have au prétérit + participe passé du verbe avoir) .They understood the babies were still in the jungle.
    The days went by. Dina fell into a depression. She didn't eat very much and stayed sitting all day long. Veternarians had to do something ! According to them, Dina would feel better if she had other babies. So the zoo keepers and the director went looking for baby tigers, vainly.
    A few days later, two zoo keepers living nearby told the director a mother pig was(erreur classique avaient passé l'arme à gauche... had died) died in the night and there were now four "orphan" piglets. Quickly, the idea came to him to give these four "orphans" to the tigress. But when he told it to the vets, the most most of them laughed at this strange idea, except one of them, who found it very interesting. For three days, they both tried to find a solution so that the tigress wouldn't eat the piglets when they will be were together . And they found a solution, which appelead(to suit somebody convenir à quelqu'un) (pareil, nous n'avons pas vu plaire) to everybody. So, the following day, the zoo keeppers and the vets wrapped the piglets in tiger skin, so that the mother would believe babies were baby tigers. And it worked ! Dina accepted them and looked upon (les considérer comme) them as her own babies.





    Réponse: Correction de ce texte niveau 3e de deutsche12, postée le 17-10-2010 à 14:50:12 (S | E)
    J'ai commencé l'angalis en 5e, dans notre collège, ça se passe ainsi. En fait, j'ai fait le texte avec les connaissances, et je les ai complétées avec certains mots du dictionnaire.

    Once upon a time, there was a mother tiger called "Dina", who lived in the south American jungle, the Amazon, with her three babies : Kina, Fifer and Tini. She looked after them, she protected them, she loved them. As for them, they were very happy ant they felt very happy with their mother.
    One day, Dina was caught by poachers, while she was hunting. They put her in a cage and left for California ; unfortunately, when they left, the poachers didn't know three babies were now alone and lost in the jungle. Kina, Fifer and Tini were very sad because their mother wasn't with them any more. And they never saw her again.
    Two days later, Dina arrived on a place, where stood elephants, giraffes, rhinoceroses, ... Monkeys were having fun with lianas and went from branch to branch, while turtles swam slowly. They looked happy, but Dina didn't understand why : they were locked in all the time ! She didn't feel very well. She had lost her babies, who were actually abandoned in the jungle. Moreover, they must be hungry, but she couldn't do anything. So she thought she wouldn't be happy anymore. Now, she was locked in and she felt sad, very sad.
    When she arriverd, veterinarians had to examine her. To everybody's surprise, they found out she had had babies one month before. They understood the babies were still in the jungle.
    The days went by. Dina fell into a depression. She didn't eat very much and stayed sitting all day long. Veternarians had to do something ! According to them, Dina would feel better if she had other babies. So the zoo keepers and the director went looking for baby tigers, vainly.
    A few days later, two zoo keepers living nearby told the director a mother pig had died in the night and there were now four "orphan" piglets. Quickly, the idea came to him to give these four "orphans" to the tigress. But when he told it to the vets, the most of them laughed at this strange idea, except one of them, who found it very interesting. For three days, they both tried to find a solution so that the tigress wouldn't eat the piglets when they were together . And they found a solution, which suited everybody. So, the following day, the zoo keeppers and the vets wrapped the piglets in tiger skin, so that the mother would believe babies were baby tigers. And it worked ! Dina accepted them and looked upon (les considérer comme) them as her own babies.

    Par contre, pourquoi dit-on un moment "anymore" et un autre "any more" ?

    Je vous remercie beaucoup pour votre aide ! Et j'attends la leçon sur le "subjonctif" en anglais, parce que je vois que c'est utile !

    Merci encore.




    Réponse: Correction de ce texte niveau 3e de gerondif, postée le 17-10-2010 à 15:18:28 (S | E)
    As for them, they were very happy ant they felt very happy with their mother.
    oups répétition)
    unfortunately, when they left, the poachers didn't know that her three babies were now alone and lost in the jungle.
    Two days later, Dina arrived on a place, where there were (on n'inverse pas dans le style de "où se trouvaient)elephants, giraffes, rhinoceroses, ... Moreover, they must (normalement au prétérit, cela donnerait, they had to be hungry, ils devaient avoir faim, mais parfois, l'anglais glisse sur la concordance)be hungry,
    When she arriverd, veterinarians had to examine her. To everybody's surprise, they found out she had had babies one month before (bien vu ! ago se réfère au présent,before au passé, auparavant). They understood the babies were still in the jungle.
    She didn't eat very much and stayed sitting (sonne bizarre pour moi mais ça se comprend) all day long. (les vétos en général ou ceux du texte, auquel cas the serait le bienvenu)Veterinarians had to do something ! According to them, Dina would feel better if she had other babies. So the zoo keepers and the director went looking for baby tigers, vainly/ but in vain (ne prêtera pas à confusion avec vainly, avec vanité)
    A few days later, two zoo keepers living nearby told the director a mother pig had died in the night and there were now four "orphan" piglets. Quickly, the idea came to him to give these four "orphans" to the tigress. But when he told it(that) to the vets, the most of them laughed at this strange idea, except one of them, who found it very interesting. For three days, they both tried to find a solution so that the tigress wouldn't eat the piglets when they were together . And they found a solution, which suited everybody. So, the following day, the zoo keeppers and the vets wrapped the piglets in tiger skin, so that the mother would believe babies were baby tigers. And it worked ! Dina accepted them and looked upon (les considérer comme, verbe un peu cérébral, to look after, s'occuper de, m'aurait plu) them as her own babies.

    Le would employé après so that amène une nuance de volonté, afin qu'elle veuille bien, reliée à son ancêtre allemand wollen.

    Une élève qui attend avec impatience une leçon sur le subjonctif ! Cachez-vous ! On va vous mettre sous globe !

    Je viens de corriger des copies de troisième où un malheureux m'écrit que "hay an cat" signifie j'ai un chat !(travail sur I have et I have got), donc je vous trouve un tout petit peu meilleure !

    Good luck !

    I don't see him any longer , I don't see him any more, I no longer see him.
    les deux existent le plus logique est celui ci mais on trouve bien sûr:
    Do you still see him ? not anymore.




    Réponse: Correction de ce texte niveau 3e de deutsche12, postée le 17-10-2010 à 15:50:46 (S | E)
    Once upon a time, there was a mother tiger called "Dina", who lived in the south American jungle, the Amazon, with her three babies : Kina, Fifer and Tini. She looked after them, she protected them, she loved them. As for them, they felt very happy with their mother. One day, Dina was caught by poachers, while she was hunting. They put her in a cage and left for California ; unfortunately, when they left, the poachers didn't know that her three babies were now alone and lost in the jungle. Kina, Fifer and Tini were very sad because their mother wasn't with them any more. And they never saw her again.
    Two days later, Dina arrived on a place, where elephants, giraffes and rhinoceroses stood. Monkeys were having fun with lianas and went from branch to branch, while turtles swam slowly. They looked happy, but Dina didn't understand why : they were locked in all the time ! She didn't feel very well. She had lost her babies, who were actually abandoned in the jungle. Moreover, they had to be hungry, but she couldn't do anything. So she thought she wouldn't be happy anymore. Now, she was locked in and she felt sad, very sad. When she arrived, veterinarians had to examine her. To everybody's surprise, they found out she had had babies one month before. They understood the babies were still in the jungle.
    The days went by. Dina fell into a depression. She didn't eat very much and stayed sitting all day long. The veterinarians had to do something ! According to them, Dina would feel better if she had other babies. So the zoo keepers and the director went looking for baby tigers, but in vain.
    A few days later, two zoo keepers living nearby told the director a mother pig had died in the night and there were now four "orphan" piglets. Quickly, the idea came to him to give these four "orphans" to the tigress. But when he told that to the vets, most of them laughed at this strange idea, except one of them, who found it very interesting. For three days, they both tried to find a solution so that the tigress wouldn't eat the piglets when they were together . And they found a solution, which suited everybody. So, the following day, the zoo keepers and the vets wrapped the piglets in tiger skin, so that the mother would believe babies were baby tigers. And it worked ! Dina accepted them and looked after them as her own babies.


    ==> Voilà le texte final ! Je vous remercie beaucoup gerondif pour le temps que vous m'avez accordé !

    Thanks !!


    All the best !



    Réponse: Correction de ce texte niveau 3e de gerondif, postée le 17-10-2010 à 16:06:29 (S | E)
    Orthographe !!
    arriverd
    veternarians
    keeppers

    on met deux consonnes pour enfermer un son simple:
    comparez jam []et fame [ei].
    sit[i] et kite, fine, a site, to cite [ai].
    donc "I am sitting" prend deux t pour que le i continue à se prononcer [i] et pas [ai]

    to keep: le double e se prononcera toujours [i:], donc inutile de mettre deux p.

    to sleep: a sleeper.
    to keep: a keeper.
    to break: a breaker.
    to look: an onlooker
    mais
    to hit: a hitter.
    the fog / it is foggy.
    to spit: he is spitting
    a hat: a hatter
    to get: I am getting nervous.
    to stop: a stopper, I am stopping, he stopped talking..




    Réponse: Correction de ce texte niveau 3e de notrepere, postée le 18-10-2010 à 03:21:49 (S | E)
    Hello!

    The Amazon Rain Forest is in South America not southern American.

    See ya!






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