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    Correction/ some sentences

    << Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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    Correction/ some sentences
    Message de toto-yoyo posté le 12-11-2010 à 17:33:38 (S | E | F)
    Hello,

    I'm going to speak English, I think it's better.
    I had to watch a series and to answer any some questions.
    But the teacher wants that the my English is to be perfect.
    So can you look at my work and correct the things that don't go well.
    I wrote it in simple past, is it correct ?

    1)This crime could result from a drug deal gone bad because the police found a box of drug behind the bed.
    2)The murder’s initial profile is a person who made a trained medical practitioner or a serial killer.
    3)The tissues come from at least 4 humans.
    4)Abby and McGhee almost die because there was cyanide gas evaporation in the laboratory.
    5)Michael Mower was Abby’s former friend. (Maybe there is a "the" before Abby no ?)
    8)Abby hid out by McGhee.
    9)Michael was in the NCIS building, at a window just behind Abby.
    10)Next, Abby hid out by Gibbs.
    11)Gibbs helped Abby to understand that this entire story isn’t Abby’s fault.
    12)It’s another man that tried to kill Abby. A man pretended to be the Federal Marshal and took Abby in his car. But Abby use her taser when she understood that this man wanted to kill her.

    Thank you.
    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 12-11-2010 19:09


    Réponse: Correction/ some sentences de notrepere, postée le 12-11-2010 à 18:51:40 (S | E)
    Hello!

    1)This crime could result from a drug deal gone bad because the police found a box of drug [plural] behind the bed.

    2)The murder’s [use the word in the form of a person; un tueur] initial profile is a person who made may be a trained medical practitioner or a serial killer.

    4)Abby and McGhee almost die [past tense] because there was a cyanide gas evaporation in the laboratory.

    12)It’s another man that tried to kill Abby. A man pretended to be the Federal Marshal and took Abby in his car. But Abby use [past tense] her taser when she understood that this man wanted to kill her.




    Réponse: Correction/ some sentences de toto-yoyo, postée le 12-11-2010 à 22:59:07 (S | E)
    Hello,
    1)This crime could result from a drug deal gone bad because the police found a box of drugs behind the bed.

    2)The murder initial profile is a person who may be a trained medical practitioner or a serial killer.

    4)Abby and McGhee almost died because there was a cyanide gas evaporation in the laboratory.

    12)It’s another man that tried to kill Abby. A man pretended to be the Federal Marshal and took Abby in his car. But Abby used her taser when she understood that this man wanted to kill her.

    Like this, is it good Is it better now ?

    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 13-11-2010 09:04




    Réponse: Correction/ some sentences de may, postée le 13-11-2010 à 02:51:42 (S | E)
    Bonsoir

    No, not yet!

    2)The murder (see notrepere) initial profile is a person who may be a trained medical practitioner or a serial killer.

    8)Abby hid out by McGhee.

    10)Next, Abby hid out by Gibbs. (passive voice? what does this mean the word by in these sentences if they are not in passive voice?)

    11)Gibbs helped Abby to understand that this entire story isn’t (is not is much better) Abby’s fault.

    12)It’s another man that (human, use another pronoun) tried to kill Abby. A man pretended to be the Federal Marshal and took Abby in his car. But Abby use her taser when she (understood) realized that this man wanted to kill her.



    Réponse: Correction/ some sentences de toto-yoyo, postée le 13-11-2010 à 09:06:37 (S | E)
    For this sentence :

    Abby hid out by McGhee.

    I want say that McGhee hid Abby in his house.
    The original question is :
    Where does Abby hiding out at work ?

    For this, I don't understand what you want say:
    The murder (see notrepere)

    And for the "that", what do I change ?

    Thank you.

    -------------------
    Modifié par toto-yoyo le 13-11-2010 11:25





    Réponse: Correction/ some sentences de may, postée le 13-11-2010 à 16:30:53 (S | E)
    Bonjour

    Abby hid out by McGhee----> wrong

    I want to say that McGhee hid Abby in his house.
    Then, the sentence would be Abby + verb to be in past tense + past participle (hid or hidden)in his house (by McGhee is not necessary unless you want to)

    The original question is :
    Where does Abby hiding out at work ?


    your question is wrong in the use of tense (may I ask which tense is it?)

    For this, I don't understand what you want to say:
    The murder (see notrepere)
    (please see the correction of notrepere, that's what I meant)

    And for the "that", what do I change ?

    Which pronoun is used for person as a subject?

    Bon samedi




    Réponse: Correction/ some sentences de toto-yoyo, postée le 14-11-2010 à 10:11:38 (S | E)
    Hello,

    So, I've correct all the mistakes that you underline.

    Is it better now ?


    1)This crime could result from a drug deal gone bad because the police found a box of drugs behind the bed.

    2)The murder initial profile was a person who might be a trained medical practitioner or a serial killer.

    3)The tissues come from at least 4 humans.

    4)Abby and McGhee almost died because there was a cyanide gas evaporation in the laboratory.

    5)Michael Mower was Abby’s former friend.

    8)Abby was hidden out by McGhee in his house.

    9)Michael was in the NCIS building, at a window just behind Abby.

    10)Next, Abby was hidden out by Gibbs in his house.

    11)Gibbs helped Abby to understand that this entire story is not Abby’s fault.

    12)It’s another man who tried to kill Abby. A man pretended to be the Federal Marshal and took Abby in his car. But Abby used her taser when she realized that this man wanted to kill her.


    Thanks.



    Réponse: Correction/ some sentences de may, postée le 15-11-2010 à 02:39:31 (S | E)
    Bonsoir

    Yes, it's much much better now

    Only one mistake left

    2)The murder murderer's initial profile was a person who might be a trained medical practitioner or a serial killer.



    PS: When there are two verbs next to each other in a sentence let's say I don't understand what you want say:, the second verb is always in infinitive or gerund (depends on the case)

    Bonne nuit,




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