Comme des milliers de personnes, recevez gratuitement chaque semaine << Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas
Essai/resist temptation
Message de anna posté le 21-12-2010 à 17:36:45 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Pourriez-vous m'aider à corriger cet essai s'il vous plait ? Bon courage etMERCI merci.
According to you, as a teenager, how difficult is it to resist temptation ?
As a teenager, it’s very difficult to resist temptation. Indeed, advertisements encourage us to buy.
The buying impulses are generated by commercials, marketing campaigns or even our own entourage that be envied us and created on a sense of need. Indeed, nowadays, advertising has crept into each interstice in our lives and trace us: television, radio, computer, advertising signs, home, outside, everywhere... we are inundated by advertisements that encourage us to spend money. Moreover, advertising campaigns extolling the virtues of consuming products and make us believe in their usefulness, so they aim to create a need and a desire among cnsumers. The desire to purchase and the temptation are stronger during the sales : prices broken are on display and clients think save money...spending. Teleshopping is also a formidable weapon invented for us to crack. The TV presenters live test products on sale to entice people to purchase.
Personally, to resist temptation I try to stand back and wonder if the purchase is really necessary. I often think of everything I have and tlod me that I lack nothing. Moreover, when I have a sudden urge to buy, I note it on a shopping list, then I wonder again the question of its necessity after a few days. It helps clear the mind of temptation and unconsciously I say I can come back later and there is no reason to torment with. I also think of my money and told me that it is not reasonable, that I’ll feel guilty and have regrets. Furthermore, when I go shopping with friends I recommend them and I take care more them than me, to be less inclined to buy. In addition I rarely go to the sales because every time I buy cothes not resulted and I have no longer TV ( goodbye teleshopping ! ).
In conclusion, I think that is not so difficult to resist temptation, we just must self-discipline.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 21-12-2010 17:40
Message de anna posté le 21-12-2010 à 17:36:45 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Pourriez-vous m'aider à corriger cet essai s'il vous plait ? Bon courage et
According to you, as a teenager, how difficult is it to resist temptation ?
As a teenager, it’s very difficult to resist temptation. Indeed, advertisements encourage us to buy.
The buying impulses are generated by commercials, marketing campaigns or even our own entourage that be envied us and created on a sense of need. Indeed, nowadays, advertising has crept into each interstice in our lives and trace us: television, radio, computer, advertising signs, home, outside, everywhere... we are inundated by advertisements that encourage us to spend money. Moreover, advertising campaigns extolling the virtues of consuming products and make us believe in their usefulness, so they aim to create a need and a desire among cnsumers. The desire to purchase and the temptation are stronger during the sales : prices broken are on display and clients think save money...spending. Teleshopping is also a formidable weapon invented for us to crack. The TV presenters live test products on sale to entice people to purchase.
Personally, to resist temptation I try to stand back and wonder if the purchase is really necessary. I often think of everything I have and tlod me that I lack nothing. Moreover, when I have a sudden urge to buy, I note it on a shopping list, then I wonder again the question of its necessity after a few days. It helps clear the mind of temptation and unconsciously I say I can come back later and there is no reason to torment with. I also think of my money and told me that it is not reasonable, that I’ll feel guilty and have regrets. Furthermore, when I go shopping with friends I recommend them and I take care more them than me, to be less inclined to buy. In addition I rarely go to the sales because every time I buy cothes not resulted and I have no longer TV ( goodbye teleshopping ! ).
In conclusion, I think that is not so difficult to resist temptation, we just must self-discipline.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 21-12-2010 17:40
Réponse: Essai/resist temptation de ariette, postée le 21-12-2010 à 19:25:09 (S | E)
"The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it... I can resist everything but temptation".
this is a quotation from Oscar Wilde ; it may be argued
Réponse: Essai/resist temptation de dsmith, postée le 22-12-2010 à 02:27:54 (S | E)
Hello,
Here are some corrections:
As a teenager, it’s very difficult to resist temptation. Indeed, advertisements encourage us to buy.
The buying impulses are generated by commercials, marketing campaigns or even our own entourage that be envied us and created on a sense of need (je ne comprends pas trop). Indeed, nowadays, advertising has crept into each interstice (I've never seen this word used) in our lives and trace (follow?) us: television, radio, computer, advertising signs, home, outside, everywhere... we are inundated (good word!) by advertisements that encourage us to spend money. Moreover, advertising campaigns extolling (I like this word but don't use the gerund here) the virtues of consuming products and make us believe in their usefulness, so they aim to create a need and a desire among cnsumers (misspelled). The desire to purchase and the temptation are stronger during the sales : prices broken (I've never seen a price described as broken - prices which have been dropped??) are on display and clients think (need the pronoun here) save money...by spending. Teleshopping is also a formidable weapon invented for us to crack (to crack us?). The TV presenters live test products on sale to entice people to purchase. (I don't understand "...live test products...")
Personally, to resist temptation I try to stand back and wonder if the purchase is really necessary. I often think of everything I have and tlod me (reflexive and present tense - hint: use myself) that I lack nothing. Moreover, when I have a sudden urge to buy, I note it on a shopping list, then I wonder (ponder? usually we don't wonder about a question, we think about a question or ponder a question) again the question of its necessity after a few days. It helps to clear the mind of temptation and unconsciously I say I can come back later and there is no reason to torment with (with what? the decision? the indecision?). I also think of my money and told me (same as above) that it is not reasonable, that I’ll feel guilty and have regrets. Furthermore, when I go shopping with friends I recommend them (you give them recommendations?) and I take care more them than me, (not clear) to be less inclined to buy. In addition I rarely go to the sales because every time I buy cothes not resulted (I don't understand) and I have no longer TV ( goodbye teleshopping ! ).
In conclusion, I think that (need a subject pronoun for is) is not so difficult to resist temptation, we just must (need a verb here) self-discipline.
Very good! Good luck.
And by the way arriette - Oscar Wilde died young - probably because he chose to give in to all his temptations.
Réponse: Essai/resist temptation de anna, postée le 22-12-2010 à 10:09:21 (S | E)
Merci pour tout !!! Cette version est-elle correcte ? According to you, as a teenager, how difficult is it to resist temptation ?
As a teenager, it’s very difficult to resist temptation. Indeed, advertisements encourage us to buy.
The buying impulses are generated by commercials, marketing campaigns or even our own entourage that make us envious and create a sense of need ( je veux dire “qui nous rend envieux et qui crée sur nous un sentiment de besoin” ). Indeed, nowadays, advertising has crept into each crack/nook/corner
in our lives and hound us: television, radio, computer, advertising signs, home, outside, everywhere... we are inundated by advertisements that encourage us to spend money. Moreover, advertising campaigns extol the virtues of consuming products and make us believe in their usefulness, so they aim to create a need and a desire among consumers. The desire to purchase and the temptation are stronger during the sales : prices dropped are on display and clients think to save money...by spending. Teleshopping is also a formidable weapon invented to crack up us ( je veux dire nous faire craquer ). The TV presenters test products on sale live (je veux dire en direct) to entice people to purchase.Personally, to resist temptation I try to stand back and wonder if the purchase is really necessary. I often think of everything I have and told myself that I lack nothing. Moreover, when I have a sudden urge to buy, I note it on a shopping list, then I wonder again the question of its necessity after a few days. It helps clear the mind of temptation and unconsciously I say I can come back later and there is no reason to torment with. I also think of my money and told myself that it is not reasonable, that I’ll feel guilty and have regrets. Furthermore, when I go shopping with friends I give them recommendations and I take care more them than me, to be less inclined to buy. In addition I rarely go to the sales because every time I buy clothes not dropped
and I have no longer TV ( goodbye teleshopping ! ).In conclusion, I think that it is not so difficult to resist temptation, we just must keep self-discipline.
Réponse: Essai/resist temptation de anna, postée le 22-12-2010 à 11:22:10 (S | E)
Encore une nouvelle verion :
According to you, as a teenager, how difficult is it to resist temptation ?
As a teenager, it’s very difficult to resist temptation. Indeed, advertisements encourage us to buy.
The buying impulses are generated by commercials, marketing campaigns or even our own entourage that makes us envious.
Nowadays, advertising has crept into each crack/nook/corner in our lives and hound us : television, radio, computer, advertising signs, home, outside, everywhere... We are inundated by advertisements that encourage us to spend money.
Moreover, advertising campaigns extol the virtues of consuming products and make us believe in their usefulness, so they aim to create a need and a desire among consumers. Teenagers are the main target because advertising agencies know that they encourage their parents to buy. In fact, parents can control theirself but they can hardly resist their children.
The desire to purchase and the temptation are stronger during the sales : prices dropped are on display and clients think to save money...by spending. Teleshopping is also a formidable weapon invented in order to break us down. The TV presenters test products on sale live to entice people to purchase.
Personally, to resist temptation I try to stand back and wonder if the purchase is really necessary. I often think of everything I have and told myself that I lack nothing.
Moreover, when I have a sudden urge to buy, I note it on a shopping list, then I wonder again the question of its necessity after a few days. It helps clear the mind of temptation and unconsciously I say I can come back later and there is no reason to torment with.
I also think of my money and told myself that it is not reasonable, that I’ll feel guilty and have regrets.
Furthermore, when I go shopping with friends I give them recommendations and I take care more them than me
, to be less inclined to buy. In addition I rarely go to the sales because every time I buy clothes not dropped and I have no longer TV ( goodbye teleshopping ! ).
In conclusion, I think that it is not so difficult to resist temptation, we just must keep self-discipline.
Réponse: Essai/resist temptation de notrepere, postée le 22-12-2010 à 16:20:06 (S | E)
HelloThe buying impulses are [pas très courant: 'The impulse to buy is' est mieux] generated by commercials, marketing campaigns
Nowadays, advertising has crept into each crack/nook/corner in [je suggère 'corner of'] our lives and hound [accorde: 3ème personne du singulier] us: television, radio, computer, advertising signs, home, outside, everywhere... We are inundated by advertisements that encourage us to spend money.
Moreover, advertising campaigns extol the virtues of consuming products and make us believe in their usefulness, so they aim to create a need and a desire among consumers. Teenagers are the main target because advertising agencies know that they encourage their parents to buy. In fact, parents can control theirself [
ce mot n'existe pas] but they can hardly resist their children.The desire to purchase and the temptation [à mettre avant 'to purchase'] are stronger during the sales: prices dropped ['reduced prices' est plus courant] are on display and clients think to save ['they are saving' est plus courant] money...by spending. Teleshopping is also a formidable weapon invented in order to break us down [ces mots ne vont pas]. The TV presenters who test ['demonstrate' est plus courant] products on sale live to entice people to purchase.
Personally, to resist temptation I try to stand back and wonder if the purchase is really necessary. I often think of everything I have and told [au présent] myself that I lack nothing.
Moreover, when I have a sudden urge to buy, I note it on a shopping list, then I wonder again the question of its necessity after a few days. It helps to clear the mind of temptation and unconsciously I say I can come back later
I also think of my money and told [au présent] myself that it is not reasonable, that I’ll feel guilty and have regrets.
Furthermore, when I go shopping with friends I give them recommendations and I take care more for them than me
In addition I rarely go to the sales because every time I buy clothes not dropped [ne va pas; 'that are not on sale' est plus courant] and I have no longer TV ( goodbye teleshopping ! ) [n'a pas de sens].
In conclusion, I think that it is not so difficult to resist temptation, we just must keep [garder = keep, remain; en ce cas 'remain' est le bon choix] self-disciplined.
Cordialement
-------------------
Modifié par notrepere le 22-12-2010 16:24
Réponse: Essai/resist temptation de anna, postée le 22-12-2010 à 21:01:36 (S | E)
merci à tous !<< Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais
INDISPENSABLES : 