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    Languages/correction

    Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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    Languages/correction
    Message de peyton483 posté le 15-02-2011 à 21:04:51 (S | E | F)
    Bonjour,

    Je dois écrire un essai en anglais sur "l'importance de la maîtrise de plusieurs langues étrangères de nos jours".
    Pourriez-vous m'indiquer mes erreurs et maladresses?
    J'ai utilisé des "/" lorsque j'hésitais entre plusieurs mots ou expressions. Pouvez-vous me suggérer la meilleure option?
    Merci beaucoup!

    Today, the humans are more and more getting about/ travelling/ moving. Indeed, tourism concerns 850 million persons every year and the destinations are more and more exotic such as China, Brazil or India. In order to communicate, mastering the language of the natives seems indispensable: in non-developed countries, there are no installations/ set-ups for non-natives/foreigners/tourists and understanding each other is consequently (getting?) really hard.
    However, needless to say that a strong knowledge of a foreign language is not only useful for tourism but also for work. Thanks to globalization, the economies of every nation are more and more connected, firms are set up/established/located in every corner of the world and mastering English is the bare minimum for executives (or international workers?): English is usually the official language for international business conferences, meetings and scientific symposiums. Moreover, it is by far the most popular language over the internet and other forms of electronic communication.
    Finally, learning a new language is a challenge for a lot of immigrants: their integration in our developed countries depends on their command of the local language since it permits to accede to jobs and to create links/connections with the natives. Thus, not understanding the language of the host country seems like advocating isolation instead of communication.

    Nevertheless, people can/are able to understand each other without speaking the same language: what/(we could think) about the sign language? It is what we usually practice with babies or toddlers and it is/proves to be very efficient when we have to face an unexpected situation with someone who cannot understand us.
    In addition, it is not imperative to master a language: few notions are good enough to get by and the language barrier can be easily overcome with a little bit of imagination.

    Personally, I would say that speaking foreign languages is clearly a necessity nowadays. Not mastering English seems (unbelievable)/unthinkable/inconceivable for those who want to reach high level jobs and most of the time, the mastery/command of a second language is required. Consequently, it is a challenge for me to become at least bilingual.
    On the other hand, I'm convinced that foreign languages can give more than only a “plus/bonus” on a CV. Through the learning of a language, we discover a whole new culture and broaden our horizon: we finally become aware of the richness and cultural diversity of the world.

    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 15-02-2011 21:10



    Réponse: Languages/correction de notrepere, postée le 15-02-2011 à 22:06:51 (S | E)
    Bonjour

    Très bon travail!

    Today, the humans are more and more getting about/ travelling [à mettre avant 'more and more']/ moving. Indeed, tourism concerns [mal dit] 850 million persons every year and the destinations are more and more exotic such as China, Brazil or India. In order to communicate, mastering the language of the natives seems indispensable:[point] in non-developed countries, there are no installations/ set-ups [je ne comprends pas] for non-natives/foreigners/tourists and understanding each other is consequently (getting?) really hard.

    However, needless to say ['However' ou 'Needless to say' mais pas les deux] that [à supprimer] a strong knowledge of a foreign language is not only useful for tourism but also for work. Thanks to [traduction de 'à cause de' pas 'grâce à] globalization, the economies of every nation are more and more connected, firms are set up/established/located in every corner of the world and mastering English is the bare minimum for executives (or international workers?): English is usually the official language for international business conferences, meetings and scientific symposiums. Moreover, it is by far the most popular language over the internet and other forms of electronic communication.
    Finally, learning a new language is a challenge for a lot of immigrants: their integration in our developed countries depends on their command of the local language since it permits **** [pronom manquant] to accede [mal dit: réussir?] to jobs and to create links/connections with the natives. Thus, not understanding the language of the host country seems like advocating isolation instead of communication.
    Nevertheless, people can/are able to understand each other without speaking the same language: what/(we could think) about the sign language, ['par exemple']?. It is what we usually practice with babies or toddlers and it is/proves to be very efficient when we have to face an unexpected situation with someone who cannot understand us.
    Personally, I would say that speaking foreign languages is clearly a necessity nowadays. Not mastering English seems (unbelievable)[oui, il ne va pas]/unthinkable/inconceivable [ou'unimaginable'] for those who want to reach high -level jobs and most of the time, the mastery/command of a second language is required. Consequently [il ne va pas; traduction de 'However, je trouve que'] , it is a challenge for me to become at least bilingual.
    On the other hand, I'm convinced that foreign languages can give [mal dit: être; this skill is really a plus/bonus on your résumé] more than only a “plus/bonus” on a CV. Through the learning of a language, we discover a whole new culture and broaden our horizons: and we finally become aware of the richness and cultural diversity of the world.





    Réponse: Languages/correction de peyton483, postée le 15-02-2011 à 23:38:09 (S | E)
    Merci pour votre réponse Notrepere!

    Voici ce que je suggère suite à vos remarques:


    Today, humans are traveling more and more. Indeed, tourism touches (? je ne vois pas quel verbe associer... sinon je pourrais reformuler cette phrase mais je ne voudrais pas utiliser une nouvelle fois le verbe voyager...) 850 million persons every year and the destinations are more and more exotic such as China, Brazil or India. In order to communicate, mastering the language of the natives seems indispensable.In non-developed countries, there are no installations/ set-ups (il n'y a pas d'installations pour les touristes, d'équipements. On peut penser par exemple aux traductions des cartes dans les restaurants, aux audio-guides...) for foreigners/tourists and understanding each other is consequently (getting?) really hard. (Je relis ma phrase: c'est vrai que le lien n'est peut-être pas direct entre les installations pour les touristes et le fait de communiquer avec les locaux.)

    Needless to say a strong knowledge of a foreign language is not only useful for tourism but also for work. Because of globalization, the economies of every nation are more and more connected, firms are set up/established/located in every corner of the world and mastering English is the bare minimum for executives (or international workers?): English is usually the official language for international business conferences, meetings and scientific symposiums. Moreover, it is by far the most popular language over the internet and other forms of electronic communication.
    Finally, learning a new language is a challenge for a lot of immigrants: their integration in our developed countries depends on their command of the local language since it permits them to get/reach jobs and to create links/connections with the natives. Thus, not understanding the language of the host country seems like advocating isolation instead of communication.
    Nevertheless, people can/are able to understand each other without speaking the same language: the example of the sign language is blatant/obvious/striking . This is what we usually practice with babies or toddlers and it is/proves to be very efficient when we have to face an unexpected situation with someone who cannot understand us.
    Personally, I would say that speaking foreign languages is clearly a necessity nowadays. Not mastering English seems unthinkable/inconceivable/unimaginable (les trois sont équivalents je suppose mais l'un d'entre eux est-il plus employé?) for those who want to reach high -level jobs and most of the time, the mastery/command of a second language is required. Consequently , it is a challenge for me to become at least bilingual. En fait, je me suis mal exprimée à travers cette phrase: je voulais dire qu'en conséquence, c'était donc bien un objectif pour moi d'être bilingue. Du coup je devrais remplacer le mot "challenge" par " a real goal/objective/aim (exactement équivalents?)"?
    On the other hand, I'm convinced that foreign languages can be more than only a bonus skill on a résumé. Through the learning of a language, we discover a whole new culture and broaden our horizons and we finally become aware of the richness and cultural diversity of the world.

    -------------------
    Modifié par peyton483 le 15-02-2011 23:38





    Réponse: Languages/correction de notrepere, postée le 16-02-2011 à 07:10:20 (S | E)
    Hello, très bon travail.

    Today, humans* are traveling more and more. Indeed, tourism** touches 850 million persons every year and the destinations are more and more exotic such as China, Brazil or India. In order to communicate, mastering the language of the natives seems indispensable.*** In non-developed countries, there are no conveniences pour les touristes [il faut traduire en anglais]. On peut penser par exemple aux traductions des cartes dans les restaurants, aux audio-guides... [incluez ces exemples] for foreigners/tourists and [par conséquence] understanding each other is consequently (getting?) really hard [verb: devenir en formce ing 'plus difficile'].

    Needless to say, a strong knowledge of a foreign language is not only useful for tourism but also for work. Because of globalization, the economies of every nation are more and more connectedpoint] firms are set up/established/located in every corner of the world and mastering English is the bare minimum for executives (or international workers?): English is usually the official language for international business conferences, meetings and scientific symposiums. Moreover, it is by far the most popular language over [sur] the internet and other forms of electronic communication.
    Finally, learning a new language is a challenge for a lot of immigrants: and their integration in our developed countries depends on their command of the local language since it permits them to get/reach jobs and to create links/ connections [en forme d'un verbe] with the natives. Thus, not understanding the language of the host country seems like advocating [créer] isolation instead of communication [intégration].

    Nevertheless, people can/are able to understand each other without speaking the same language: the example [à mettre à la fin de la phrase] of the sign language is an blatant/obvious/striking . This is what we usually practice with babies or toddlers and it is/proves to be very efficient when we have to face an unexpected situation with someone who cannot understand us.
    Personally, I would say that speaking foreign languages is clearly a necessity nowadays. Not mastering English seems unthinkable/inconceivable/unimaginable for those who want to reach high-level jobs and [car/parce que] most of the time, the mastery/command of a second language is required. Consequently [c'est pour cette raison que ... un objectif pour moi d'être bilingue].

    On the other hand, I'm convinced that foreign languages can be more than only a bonus skill on a résumé. Through the learning of a language, we discover a whole new culture and broaden our horizons and we finally become aware of the richness and cultural diversity of the world.

    * 'people' serait plus courant.
    ** tourism itself doesn't perform an action, par conséquence, ce n'est pas le meilleur sujet de la phrase. Je dirais 'tourism industry' et refaites la phrase et employez 850 million people comme le sujet.
    *** A mon avis, l'ordre des mots n'est pas idéal. Je suggère que vous refassiez la phrase. Supprimez 'seems indispensible' et changez à 'serait indispensable'. Commencez la phrase par 'So, mastering the ...'

    Also, you need to make a choice for the ones with multiple choices (/)

    Bon apprentissage




    Réponse: Languages/correction de peyton483, postée le 16-02-2011 à 11:05:47 (S | E)
    Merci Notrepere.

    Voici ce que je propose:


    Today, people are traveling more and more.Indeed, 850 million people are touched by tourism industry (are involved?) every year and the destinations are more and more exotic such as China, Brazil or India. So, mastering the language of the natives would be indispensable in order to communicate. In fact, in non-developed countries, there are no conveniences for tourists (we cannot find earphone guides/ audio guides and menus are rarely/seldom translated in restaurants) and consequently understanding each other is becoming harder.

    Needless to say, a strong knowledge of a foreign language is not only useful for tourism but also for work. Because of globalization, the economies of every nation are more and more connected, firms are set up in every corner of the world and mastering English is the bare minimum for executives (or international workers? is that right? Sorry, I'm insisting ): English is usually the official language for international business conferences, meetings and scientific symposiums. Moreover, it is by far the most popular language on the internet and other forms of electronic communication.

    Finally, learning a new language is a challenge for a lot of immigrants and their integration in our developed countries depends on their command of the local language since it permits them to get jobs and to connect with the natives. Thus, not understanding the language of the host country creates isolation instead of communication/integration (ok but I would have liked to keep “communication” to make a link with the subject).

    Nevertheless, people can/are able to understand each other without speaking the same language: sign language is an obvious example . This is what we usually practice with babies or toddlers and it proves to be very efficient when we have to face an unexpected situation with someone who cannot understand us.
    Personally, I would say that speaking foreign languages is clearly a necessity nowadays. Not mastering English seems unimaginable for those who want to reach high-level jobs because most of the time, the mastery/command of a second language is required. That's why, it is a real goal/objective/aim for me to become bilingual.

    On the other hand, I'm convinced that foreign languages can be more than only a bonus skill on a résumé. Through the learning of a language, we discover a whole new culture and broaden our horizons and we finally become aware of the richness and cultural diversity of the world.

    -------------------
    Modifié par peyton483 le 16-02-2011 11:07



    -------------------
    Modifié par peyton483 le 16-02-2011 11:09





    Réponse: Languages/correction de notrepere, postée le 16-02-2011 à 19:19:29 (S | E)
    Hello

    Indeed, 850 million people are touched by [contribuer à] the tourism industry every year and the destinations are more and more exotic such as China, Brazil or India. So, mastering the language of the natives would be indispensable in order to communicate. In fact, in non-developed countries, there are no conveniences for tourists (we cannot find earphone guides/ audio guides and menus are rarely/seldom translated in restaurants) and consequently understanding each other is becoming harder (ou 'more difficult'].

    Because of globalization, the economies of every nation are more and more connected, firms are set up in every corner of the world and mastering English is the bare minimum for executives (or international workers? is that right? Sorry, I'm insisting ): English is usually the official language for international business conferences, meetings and scientific symposiums.

    Thus, not understanding the language of the host country creates isolation instead of communication/integration (ok but I would have liked to keep “communication” to make a link with the subject It's up to you. My point was that not understanding the language creates isolation.).

    That's why, it is a real goal/objective/aim for me to become bilingual.

    On the other hand*, I'm convinced that foreign languages can be more than only a bonus skill on a résumé. Through the learning of a language, we discover a whole new culture and broaden our horizons and we finally become aware of the richness and cultural diversity of the world.

    * "On the other hand" usually signals as opposing point of view which is not the case here. It would be best to choose something else.



    Réponse: Languages/correction de peyton483, postée le 16-02-2011 à 19:53:06 (S | E)
    Thank you for your answer!

    Today, people are traveling more and more. Indeed, 850 million people take part in (contribute to?) the tourism industry every year and the destinations are more and more exotic such as China, Brazil or India.

    ... consequently understanding each other is becoming harder/more difficult (a preference for one of them?).


    ...Thus, not understanding the language of the host country creates isolation instead of integration and prevents all kinds of (right?) communication.


    (I wanted to say “d'autre part” which conveys an idea of addition in French... should I say “In addition”? But as this is the last paragraph of my essay, I would have prefered to employ another word... Maybe “finally”? But I've already used it. Can I use “Lastly”? ) I'm convinced that foreign languages can be more than only a bonus skill on a résumé . Through the learning of a language, we discover a whole new culture and broaden our horizons and we finally become aware of the richness and cultural diversity of the world.




    Réponse: Languages/correction de peyton483, postée le 18-02-2011 à 18:15:34 (S | E)
    Ah, je crois que ce serait plutôt "all kind of communicationS". Cette expression vous semble-t-elle correcte dans ma phrase?



    Réponse: Languages/correction de notrepere, postée le 19-02-2011 à 00:16:54 (S | E)
    Today, people are traveling more and more. Indeed, 850 million people take part in/contribute to (either is ok) the tourism industry every year and the destinations are more and more exotic such as China, Brazil or India.

    ... consequently understanding each other is becoming harder/more difficult. Personally, I prefer "more difficult" because "harder" is less formal and can mean "more solid" rather than the intended meaning of "difficulty".

    ...Thus, not understanding the language of the host country creates isolation instead of integration and prevents all kinds of (right?) communication. Yes, this is fine, or you could say "prevents communication in general". All "kind of communications" does not sound right. Communication is usually used in the singular as a noun.

    In conclusion/Finally, I'm convinced that foreign languages can be more than only* a bonus skill on a résumé. Through the learning of a language, we discover a whole new culture and broaden our horizons and we finally** become aware of the richness and cultural diversity of the world.

    * I would remove the word 'only'; it doesn't add to the meaning of the sentence and the construct "more than only" is a little awkward.

    ** I would remove "finally". In this context, it has the meaning of "at last", which doesn't really fit here. This will also allow you to use "finally" to introduce your last paragraph, if you so choose.

    Très, très bon travail. It has been a pleasure working with you - you are obviously a very diligent and dutiful student.



    Réponse: Languages/correction de peyton483, postée le 19-02-2011 à 10:32:36 (S | E)
    D'accord, j'ai pris note de toutes vos suggestions!

    Merci encore une fois pour votre aide précieuse, c'est un plaisir de venir sur ce site

    Bonne journée,

    Peyton483




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