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    E-mail/réunion

    Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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    E-mail/réunion
    Message de menzel972 posté le 29-04-2011 à 15:10:53 (S | E | F)
    Bonjour,

    j'aurais besoin d'une correction pour un devoir d'anglais. Il s'agit de se faire passer pour un *** et d'envoyer un e-mail au directeur résumant ce qui s'est passé dans une réunion et de proposer des solutions.
    Merci pour vos réponses.

    Object: Report on the management meeting

    Dear Mr. Director,

    Following the meeting ***ial where you have unable present, I am sending you a report summarizing the company's situation which becomes critical. We investigated a new strategy for the society to regain market share.

    First, we have 65 stores, including eight megastores that carried 450 million Euros in turnover there is 3 years ago. Then, over 40% of our sales are made by 31-40 years followed by less than 30 years over 41 years.

    Although the megastore represent 55% of our rag business, and sales have increased by 8% in these stores, today we see a steady loss of revenue of approximately 35.56%. Indeed, we spend 450 million Euros to 290 million and investments in advertising and promotion have enabled us to not go lower.

    Moreover, this loss can be explained because of a poor management of our investment earnings which have been widely installed in the communication rather than a growth market such as the Internet. Our clientele is composed mostly of adult (over 31 years) who rarely uses this new support as a means of purchase. Therefore, our competitors already present on Internet us scratching market share. Finally, we have a product range extended slightly in order to reach all consumers according to their music style.

    It seems important to review our strategy to sustain the business. We considered it necessary to see vital KGV launches on the Internet to generate sales.

    Your sincerely

    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 29-04-2011 18:54


    Réponse: E-mail/réunion de may, postée le 30-04-2011 à 02:12:55 (S | E)
    Bonsoir,

    Dear Mr. Director,

    Following the meeting ***ial where/autre pronom you have/préterit verbe to be unable.... present/autre verbe, I am sending you a report summarizing the company's situation which becomes critical. We investigated a new strategy for/autre prép the society to regain market share.

    First, we have 65 stores, including eight megastores/deux mots that carried/earned?? 450 million Euros in turnover (there is) 3 years ago. Then, over 40% of our sales are made by 31-40 years followed by less than 30 years over 41 years.
    le sens de cette phrase en rose n'est pas claire
    Although the megastore represent 55% of our rag business, and sales have increased/voix passive by 8% in these stores, today we still see a steady loss of revenue of approximately 35.56%. Indeed, we spend/present perfect 450 million Euros to 290 million/from lower to higher and also investments in advertising and promotion have enabled us to not to go/gerund lower....than....

    Moreover, this loss can be explained because of by a poor management of our investment earnings which have been widely installed/autre verbe in the communication rather than a growth market such as the Internet. Our clientele is composed mostly of adult (over 31 years mot manquant) who rarely uses this new support as a means of purchase. Therefore, our competitors.... already present/present perfect on Internet us scratching market share/Rephrase. Finally, we have a product range extended slightly in order to reach all consumers according to their music style.

    It seems important to review our strategy to sustain the business. We considered it verbe manquant necessary to see vital KGV launches on the Internet to generate sales.

    Yours sincerely



    Réponse: E-mail/réunion de menzel972, postée le 02-05-2011 à 22:44:36 (S | E)
    Merci pour votre aide, je vais essayer de corriger tout en modifiant la syntaxe.

    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 03-05-2011 08:28




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