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    Partiel oral /Afrique

    Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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    Partiel oral /Afrique
    Message de so-much-marie posté le 09-05-2011 à 22:33:07 (S | E | F)
    Bonjour,

    Je vous serai reconnaissante de corriger les fautes qui se trouvent dans le texte ci-dessus. C'est le texte que je devrai présenter à l'oral dans quelques jours, qui doit présenter un pays. J'ai de bonnes idées et d'excellentes bases, mais je ne suis pas à l'abri d'erreurs.
    Donc merci de prendre du temps pour corriger tout ça !

    I'd like to tell you about Africa. The African continent is very big but I visited 5 of his countries, so I am able to compare them and conclude which I love more than the others. I have ever been in Djibouti, Somali, Ethiopia, Kenya and Gabon. I visited the first four 8 years ago, that's why I don't remember them as well as the Gabon, in which I've lived 3 years ago. I've lived for 2 years in Djibouti and Gabon. The others countries were destinations of holidays.
    People are different according to countries. For instance, Kenyan were most cordial than people who live in Djibouti.
    Culutre isn't the same too. Djiboutian are modest and don't want to share things with the Occidental people. This is a poor country which know a lot of victims because of the AIDS.
    Oil makes the wealthy of Gabon. It's a richest country although Government does waste money : indeed, dirigeants takes more money for themselves than they ought to do. This is the origin of a dictatorship. Gabon used to be a French colony. We can expect to Gabon to be as civilize than France. Nevertheless, it's not the reality. We can illustrate that by the demonstratings and the unrest which were in Gabon at the dead of Omar Bongo Ondima, the ex-president.


    J'ai l'impression de répéter plein de fois 'country'. Des suggestions ?
    Elle n'est pas finie, je n'ai pas encore terminé la conclusion.
    Merci encore de prendre du temps pour corriger mes fautes (car je sais qu'il y en a ! ).
    Bonne soirée

    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 09-05-2011 22:36


    Réponse: Partiel oral /Afrique de headway, postée le 10-05-2011 à 10:00:25 (S | E)
    Bonjour,

    Voici une première correction:

    "I'd like to tell you about Africa. The African continent is very big(préférez un autre adjectif) but I visited 5 of his(mauvais choix) countries, so I am able to compare them and conclude which I love more than the others(mal dit). I have ever been in Djibouti, Somali, Ethiopia, Kenya and Gabon. I visited the first four 8 years ago, that's why I don't remember them as well as the Gabon, in which I've lived 3 years ago. I've lived for 2 years in Djibouti and Gabon. The others(orthographe) countries were destinations of holidays(mal dit).
    People are different according to countries(Il faudrait ajouter quelque chose: "dans lesquels ils vivent", par exemple). For instance, Kenyan were most cordial(welcoming/friendly, peut-être) than people who live in Djibouti.
    Culutre isn't the same too(mauvais choix). Djiboutian are modest and don't want to share things with the Occidental people. This(Je mettrais "It") is a poor country which know(pas le bon verbe) a lot of victims because of the AIDS.
    Oil makes the wealthy of Gabon(à revoir:Faire la richesse de...= To bring wealth to...).

    Je reviens plus tard pour la suite.

    Revoyez tout de même vos bases ;)

    Headway.

    -------------------
    Modifié par headway le 10-05-2011 21:30
    Former President conviendrait mieux selon moi.




    Réponse: Partiel oral /Afrique de sherry48, postée le 10-05-2011 à 14:47:49 (S | E)
    Hello, I have some more suggestions in the sentences below.
    I have ever been in Djibouti, Somali, Ethiopia, Kenya and Gabon. (incorrect word)
    For instance, Kenyan were most cordial than people who live in Djibouti. (Use the comparative not the superlative for 2 countrie.,)
    Culutre isn't the same... (spelling)
    Djiboutian are modest and don't want to share things... (agreement of subject & verbs)
    Sherry



    Réponse: Partiel oral /Afrique de gerondif, postée le 10-05-2011 à 16:35:03 (S | E)
    Bonjour,

    I'd like to tell you about Africa. (Although, bien que)The African continent is very big ,I visited 5 of his countries, so I am able to compare them and conclude which(mettez plutôt which country) I love more than the others. I have ever(mauvais choix pour déjà) been in(to?) Djibouti, Somali, Ethiopia, Kenya and Gabon. I visited the first four 8 years ago, that's why I don't remember them as well as the Gabon, in which I've(mauvais temps avec ago) lived 3 years ago. I've lived for 2 years in Djibouti and Gabon. The others countries were destinations of(maladroit. un nom composé s'impose ) holidays.
    People are different according to(maladroit , trop court, vous voulez dire selon le pays dans lequel ils habitent, depending on.....)) countries. For instance, Kenyan(pluriel) were most(confusion comparatif superlatif) cordial than people who live in Djibouti.
    Culutre isn't the same too(non plus, pas aussi). Djiboutian(pluriel) are modest and don't want to share things with the Occidental people. This is a poor country which know(s du présent) a lot of victims because of the AIDS.
    Oil makes the wealthy of Gabon. It's a richest country although (article)Government does waste(ok si forme d'insistance) money : indeed, dirigeants takes more money for themselves than they ought to do. This is the origin of a dictatorship. Gabon used to be a French colony. We can expect to Gabon to be as civilize than France. Nevertheless, it's not the reality. We can illustrate that by the demonstratings and the unrest which were(pauvre. to take place) in Gabon at the dead (il faut le nom , pas l'adjectif) of Omar Bongo Ondima, the ex-president.




    Réponse: Partiel oral /Afrique de ariette, postée le 10-05-2011 à 16:45:17 (S | E)

    Oil makes the wealthy of Gabon. It's a richest country although Government does waste money : indeed, dirigeants takes more money for themselves than they ought to do. This is the origin of a dictatorship. Gabon used to be a French colony. We can expect [to] Gabon to be as civilize than France. Nevertheless, it's not the reality. We can illustrate that by the demonstratings and the unrest which were in Gabon at the dead of Omar Bongo Ondima, the ex-president

    makes the wealthy déjà corrigé
    richest pourquoi le superlative ? dans ce cas il faut rajouter ‘in Africa’
    waste ? do you really mean that or the opposite (save, earn)
    dirigeants voc (leader)

    takes accord verbe
    as civilize than as… as et voc (adjective)
    it's not the reality what do you mean ? ‘civilized’ shouldn’t you use an other adjective? ‘what is a civilized man?’ isn’t it an other philosophical problematic question?

    Demonstratings vocab
    Were metre un verbe
    at the dead of Omar Bongo Ondima, the ex-president when the… died dead adj
    death noun




    Réponse: Partiel oral /Afrique de so-much-marie, postée le 12-05-2011 à 16:37:05 (S | E)
    Merci pour toutes vos réponses ! Je ne me rendais pas compte que j'avais tant d'erreurs, et pour la plupart, des idiotes ...

    Voilà la suite de mon oral :

    Be a military's daughter brought and keep bringing me a lot of things. In all these countries, biodiversity isn't the same as France. I've already seen elephants, marine turtles, buffalos, hippopotamus and zebras in the same day ! Flowers and plants are very developped in the forest which take place over there.
    Landscapes are so beautiful to the extent that I will be able to go back only for them.
    There isn't much perfumeries over there and I want to become responsible of perfumeries. That's why I want to go and live in Africa : I will be able to set up my own company.
    I will keep in memory the best memories of these years abroad.
    If I had the opportunity to go back again, altough travel tickets are expensive beacause of the plane, I won't miss it.

    Merci encore de prendre un peu de temps pour corriger tout ça !
    Marie



    Réponse: Partiel oral /Afrique de gerondif, postée le 12-05-2011 à 18:23:31 (S | E)
    Bonsoir,

    Be(il faut un gérondif) a military(est un adjectif et pas un nom)'s daughter brought and keep(présent simple troisième personne:S) bringing me a lot of things. In all these countries, biodiversity isn't the same as in France. I've already seen elephants, marine turtles, buffalos, hippopotamus(pluriel?) and zebras in the same day ! Flowers and plants are very developped in the forest which take place over there.("a tortoise" étant terrestre et "a turtle" marine, je veux bien "marine turtles" mais c'est un peu comme un sous marin aquatique ou un avion aérien)
    Landscapes are so beautiful to the extent that I will(conditionnel préférable) be able to go back only for them.
    There isn't much(much + singulier, many + pluriel) perfumeries over there and I want to become responsible of(responsible for mais cela fait français traduit, on dit souvent I am in charge of ....) perfumeries. That's why I want to go and live in Africa : I will be able to set up my own company.
    I will keep in memory(répétition malvenue: to remember(fondly),to keep in mind) the best memories of these years abroad.
    If I had the opportunity to go back again, altough travel tickets are expensive beacause of the plane, I won't(conditionnel obligatoire de par la concordance des temps) miss it.




    Réponse: Partiel oral /Afrique de so-much-marie, postée le 13-05-2011 à 18:49:37 (S | E)
    Bonjour,
    J'ai eu mon oral cet après-midi qui s'est très bien déroulé !
    Je tiens donc à vous remercier une fois de plus : merci à tous !!
    Marie




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