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    Correction / une ville

    Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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    Correction / une ville
    Message de aureliie59 posté le 04-10-2011 à 13:52:31 (S | E | F)
    Bonjour à tous,

    j'ai une rédaction à faire en anglais. Je dois décrire une ville.
    Si vous pouviez me Pourriez-vous corriger mon texte s'il vous plaît?.
    Merci d'avance.
    Voici mon travail:

    Solesmes city lies on the department of north, more precisely in district Cambrai. Solesmes is the county town of Solesmes county. He accountes 17 cities and villages. Whit a population of about 4729 people, Solesmes is the 2063th the more to populate in France.
    Solesmes is a little city, her area is 23,25km².
    The city is crossed by 2 rivers: The Selle and The Beart.
    Solesmes is surrounded by 4 neighburing townes: Saint Python, briastre, Romeries and Beaurain.

    The city is goog develop for shops. We find 3 supermarket, 1 jewelry, several bakeries, shoe shops and still other.

    Education facilities of solesmes is balanced. There are 1 private high school, publicand private secondary schools, public nursery school, public and private primary schools and business training center. So that municipal musicand dance school.

    We find several sports facilities: a cover swimming pool, a stadium and 2 sports halles. Twenty sports are offered thanks to these equimpents.

    As regards architectural heritage, we count 3 premises.
    First of all the Saint Martin church. She dates in the 18th century. She was builded from 1778 to 1781. The church substitute a old edifice locates in same position. But the edifice was too little for the people. The interior of church preserve Henry Eugene Delacroix's paintwork. This man is an artist. He lived in Solesmes in 19th century. The church is romanesque styl.
    Secondary there is the town hall. She was builded in 1903.
    Finally, the bandstand was builded in 1888. He always uses for concerts show by municipal harmony of solesmes. All Thursday, a little market takes place around this bandstand.

    We find pubs, hait cut, police station, chemist's shops, post office, bank, fire brigade, library and medical center.

    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 04-10-2011 15:03
    Couleur standard, merci.




    Réponse: Correction / une ville de bulsara_berte, postée le 04-10-2011 à 14:40:31 (S | E)
    Bonjour,

    voici quelques indications pour améliorer votre travail

    "Solesmes city lies on ( voc, utilisez un autre verbe) the department of north ( Department est un faux-ami, et le département est une entité purement française, simplifiez ) , more precisely in district ( il manque un article, il s'agit de quelque chose de précis, connu) Cambrai. Solesmes is the county town of Solesmes county ( pas certain qu'on utile le terme ' county' et je ne comprends pas votre phrase) . He accountes ( erreur de pronom sujet et de verbe, simplifiez) 17 cities and villages. Whit (ortho) a population of about 4729 people ( people est impropre ici, on parle d'habitants, pas de 'gens' ) , Solesmes is the 2063th the more to populate ( expression du comparatif à revoir, structure complexe calquée sur le français, simplifiez.....) in France.
    Solesmes is a little city, her ( erreur de pronom possessif, vous parlez d'une ville ) area is 23,25km² (expression des nombres décimaux à revoir - pas de virgule en anglais-)..
    The city is crossed by 2 rivers: The Selle and The Beart.
    Solesmes is surrounded by 4 neighburing townes (ortho) : Saint Python, briastre, Romeries and Beaurain.

    The city is goog develop ( adjectif et adverbe à revoir, passez par un adjectif composé du type ' well-*****' ) for shops. We find 3 supermarket ( justement y'en a 3 donc pluriel!) , 1 jewelry, several bakeries, shoe shops and still other.

    Education facilities of solesmes is ( Facilities est pluriel, accord du verbe à revoir + Majuscule aux noms de villes) balanced. There are 1 private high school, public and private secondary schools, public nursery school, public and private primary schools and business training center. So that (sens?) municipal music and dance school.

    We find several sports facilities: a cover ( ici cover est adjectif, donc il faut sa forme adjectivale) swimming pool, a stadium and 2 sports halles ( forme du pluriel) . Twenty sports are offered thanks to these equimpents (ortho) .

    As regards architectural heritage, we count 3 premises.
    First of all the Saint Martin church. She ( Pronom sujet) dates in (préposition) the 18th century. She (idem) was builded ( participe à revoir) from 1778 to 1781. The church substitute a old edifice locates in same position. But the edifice was too little for the people. The interior of church preserve Henry Eugene Delacroix's paintwork. This man is an artist. He lived in Solesmes in (manque un article) 19th century. The church is romanesque styl (ortho et il manque une préposition) .
    Secondary there is the town hall. She (idem) was builded in 1903.
    Finally, the bandstand was builded in 1888. He ( pronom sujet) always uses (ici il faut une forme passive, le batiment ne s'utilise pas tout seul mais ' on l'utilise') for concerts show( pluriel mal placé) by municipal harmony of solesmes. All ( non ici il faut l'adverbe de fréquence) Thursday (si vous utilisez le pluriel, il faut mettre Thursday au pluriel) , a little market takes place around this bandstand.

    We find pubs, hait cut , police station, chemist's shops, post office, bank, fire brigade, library and medical center. ( il manque des articles)

    -------------------
    Modifié par bulsara_berte le 04-10-2011 14:40





    Réponse: Correction / une ville de aureliie59, postée le 04-10-2011 à 15:25:27 (S | E)
    Merci de prendre du temps pour me corriger et me conseiller.
    J'ai essayé de corriger mes erreurs:

    "Solesmes city lies on (pour ''lies on'' on a vu cette expression dans le texte qui decrit une ville c'est pour cela que je l'ai mis) northern France , more precisely in the district Cambrai. Solesmes is the county town of Solesmes county (je souhaite dire: "solesmes est le chef-lieu du canton de Solesmes") . He countes ( je parle du canton, donc c'est "il"="he") 17 cities and villages. Whith a population of about 4729 inhabitants , Solesmes is the 2063th most populate in France.
    Solesmes is a little city, his area is 23.25km².
    The city is crossed by 2 rivers: The Selle and The Beart.
    Solesmes is surrounded by 4 neighburing towns : Saint Python, briastre, Romeries and Beaurain.

    The city is well-build for shops. We find 3 supermarkets , 1 jewelry, several bakeries, shoe shops and still other.

    Education facilities of Solesmes are balanced. There are 1 private high school, public and private secondary schools, public nursery school, public and private primary schools and business training center. Along with municipal music and dance school.

    We find several sports facilities: a indoor swimming pool, a stadium and 2 sports halls . Twenty sports are offered thanks to these equipments .

    As regards architectural heritage, we count 3 premises.
    First of all the Saint Martin church. She ( une eglise c'est féminin? je ne comprend pas??) dates from the 18th century. She (idem) was built from 1778 to 1781. The church substitute a old edifice locates in same position. But the edifice was too little for the people. The interior of church preserve Henry Eugene Delacroix's paintwork. This man is an artist. He lived in Solesmes in the 19th century. The church is in the romanesque style.
    Secondary there is the town hall. He was builded in 1903.
    Finally, the bandstand was builded in 1888. He ( pronom sujet) always is used for concert shows by municipal harmony of solesmes. Always Thursdays , a little market takes place around this bandstand.

    We find pubs, hair cut(=salons de coiffure?) , a police station, chemist's shops,a post office, banks,a fire brigade, a library and medical centers. ( il manque des articles)



    Réponse: Correction / une ville de bulsara_berte, postée le 04-10-2011 à 15:38:52 (S | E)
    voilà je regarde:

    "Solesmes city lies on (pour ''lies on'' on a vu cette expression dans le texte qui decrit une ville c'est pour cela que je l'ai mis=> je ne connais pas, à vérifier par un 'Native-speaker') northern France , more precisely in the district of Cambrai. Solesmes is the county town of Solesmes county (je souhaite dire: "solesmes est le chef-lieu du canton de Solesmes") . He countes ( je parle du canton, donc c'est "il"="he" => c'est en Français...en Anglais, il ne s'agit pas d'un humain.....) 17 cities and villages. Whith a population of about 4729 inhabitants ( bien!) , Solesmes is the 2063th most populate ( à revoir) in France.
    Solesmes is a little city, his (idem une ville n'est pas un être humain...) area is 23.25km².
    The city is crossed by 2 rivers: The Selle and The Beart.
    Solesmes is surrounded by 4 neighburing towns : Saint Python, briastre, Romeries and Beaurain.

    The city is well-build (build n'est pas adapté ici mais la construction est bonne!) for shops. We find 3 supermarkets , 1 jewelry, several bakeries, shoe shops and still other.

    Education facilities of Solesmes are balanced. There are 1 private high school, public and private secondary schools, public nursery school, public and private primary schools and business training center. Along with municipal music and dance school.

    We find several sports facilities: a indoor swimming pool, a stadium and 2 sports halls . Twenty sports are offered thanks to these equipments .

    As regards architectural heritage, we count 3 premises.
    First of all the Saint Martin church. She ( une eglise c'est féminin? je ne comprend pas?? => pas en Anglais....) dates from the 18th century. She (idem) was built from 1778 to 1781. The church substitute a old edifice locates in same position. But the edifice was too little for the people. The interior of church preserve (conjugaison) Henry Eugene Delacroix's paintwork. This man is an artist. He lived in Solesmes in the 19th century. The church is in the romanesque style.
    Secondary there is the town hall. He (pronom sujet....en anglais) was builded in 1903.
    Finally, the bandstand was builded in 1888. He ( pronom sujet) always is used for concert shows by municipal harmony of solesmes. Always (non, cherchez à ' tous/toutes') Thursdays , a little market takes place around this bandstand.

    We find pubs, hair cut(=salons de coiffure?=> double clique sur un mot de la page et le dictionnaire apparait)) , a police station, chemist's shops,a post office, banks,a fire brigade, a library and medical centers. (bien!)

    Voilà, mes camarades prendront la suite, je pense avoir oublié des choses

    Bulsara




    Réponse: Correction / une ville de aureliie59, postée le 04-10-2011 à 16:53:49 (S | E)
    Merci à vous de m'avoir accordé un peu de votre temps.

    Voici ma nouvelle correction:

    Solesmes city lies on northern France , more precisely in the district of Cambrai. Solesmes is the county town of Solesmes county (je souhaite dire: "solesmes est le chef-lieu du canton de Solesmes") . It countes 17 cities and villages. Whith a population of about 4729 inhabitants , Solesmes is the 2063th most populate ( à revoir=> je ne vois pas trop comment faire ma phrase?) in France.
    Solesmes is a little city, its area is 23.25km².
    The city is crossed by 2 rivers: The Selle and The Beart.
    Solesmes is surrounded by 4 neighburing towns : Saint Python, briastre, Romeries and Beaurain.

    The city is well-developed for shops. We find 3 supermarkets , 1 jewelry, several bakeries, shoe shops and still other.

    Education facilities of Solesmes are balanced. There are 1 private high school, public and private secondary schools, public nursery school, public and private primary schools and business training center. Along with municipal music and dance school.

    We find several sports facilities: a indoor swimming pool, a stadium and 2 sports halls . Twenty sports are offered thanks to these equipments .

    As regards architectural heritage, we count 3 premises.
    First of all the Saint Martin church. It dates from the 18th century. It was built from 1778 to 1781. The church substitute a old edifice locates in same position. But the edifice was too little for the people. The interior of church preserves Henry Eugene Delacroix's paintwork. This man is an artist. He lived in Solesmes in the 19th century. The church is in the romanesque style.
    Secondary there is the town hall. It was builded in 1903.
    Finally, the bandstand was builded in 1888. It always is used for concert shows by municipal harmony of solesmes. Every Thursdays , a little market takes place around this bandstand.

    We find pubs, hairdresser(=salon de coiffure?) , a police station, chemist's shops,a post office, banks,a fire brigade, a library and medical centers.

    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 07-10-2011 22:46



    Réponse: Correction / une ville de aureliie59, postée le 07-10-2011 à 19:23:23 (S | E)
    Personne pour me dire s'il reste encore des erreurs dans mon texte ? SVP s'il vous plaît?

    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 07-10-2011 22:47



    Réponse: Correction / une ville de robertbrou, postée le 07-10-2011 à 22:05:43 (S | E)
    Bonjour aureliie59,

    Voici mes corrections/suggestions. Ne vous en faites pas.

    The city of Solesmes city lies on is located in (je n'utiliserais "lies on" que sur un plateau ou une plaine) northern France, more precisely in the district of Cambrai. Solesmes is the county town seat of Solesmes county, which has a total of It countes 17 cities and villages. Whith a population of about 4729 inhabitants , Solesmes is the 2063th most populate (=verbe, utiliser forme adjective) city in France.
    Solesmes is a little (correct, mais le synonyme sera meilleur) city, (ponctuation) its area is 23.25km².
    The city is crossed by 2 rivers: The Selle and The Beart.
    Solesmes is surrounded by 4 neighburing (orthographe) towns : Saint Python, briastre, Romeries and Beaurain.

    The city is well-developed for shops (C'est correct, mais si vous faisiez une tournure comme "la ville est un bon lieu pour faire du shopping"?). We find (Pourquoi pas "il y a"?) 3 supermarkets , 1 jewelry store, several bakeries, shoe shops and still (revoir encore=beaucoup d'autres) other (mettre au pluriel).

    Education facilities of Solesmes are balanced. There are 1 (peut confondre le lecteur. Quand j'arrive à cette situation, je mets les choses "singulières" à la fin de la phrase. Ex: There are 3 French hens, 2 turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree.) private high school, public and private secondary schools, public nursery school, public and private primary schools and business training center. Along with municipal music and dance school. (Mettre en phrase complète.)

    We find ("Il y a", ou "Solesmes has/maintains") several sports facilities: a indoor (accord) swimming pool, a (football?/multi-use?) stadium and 2 sports halls. Twenty sports are offered thanks to these equipments (revoir équipements).

    As regards (Rallonger un peu: Solesmes est fière de son héritage architectural, cela sera plus fluide) architectural heritage, we count (ou Solesmes has) 3 premises (utliser synonyme).
    First of all, the Saint Martin church. It dates from the 18th century. It was built from 1778 to 1781. The church substitute (utiliser synonyme) a old (accord) edifice locates (orthographe) in same position (utiliser synonyme). But the edifice was too little (traduire: pas assez grande) for the people. The interior of church preserves Henry Eugene Delacroix's paintwork. This man Delacroix was is an artist. He who lived in Solesmes in the 19th century. The church is in the Romanesque style. (Placer vers le début)
    Secondary there is the town hall. It was builded in 1903.
    Finally, the bandstand was builded in 1888. It always (revoir toujours) is used for concert shows by municipal harmony of solesmes.

    Every Thursdays, (revoir "le jeudi" a little (utiliser synonyme) market takes place around this bandstand.

    We findIn Solesmes you can find pubs, hair salons, a police station, chemist's shops (cela dépend de votre lecteur: USA=drugstore), a post office, several banks, a fire brigade (idem: USA=station), a library and medical centers.

    Hope this helps!

    -------------------
    Modifié par robertbrou le 07-10-2011 22:07



    Réponse: Correction / une ville de aureliie59, postée le 08-10-2011 à 01:03:12 (S | E)
    Bonjour,
    Merci d'avoir corrigé mes erreurs. Il en restait encore beaucoup en plus.
    J'ai mis tout au propre. Voici le texte final:

    The city of Solesmes is located in northern France, more precisely in the district of Cambrai. Solesmes is the county seat of Solesmes county, which has a total of 17 cities and villages. Whith a population of about 4729 inhabitants , Solesmes is the 2063th most populated city in France.
    Solesmes is a small city, its area is 23.25km².
    The city is crossed by 2 rivers: The Selle and The Beart.
    Solesmes is surrounded by 4 neighboring towns : Saint Python, Briastre, Romeries and Beaurain.

    The city is well-developed for shops. There are 3 supermarkets , 1 jewelry shop, several bakeries, shoe shops and many others.

    Education facilities of Solesmes are balanced. There are public and private secondary schools, public nursery school, public and private primary schools, 1 private high school and business training center. Also there is municipal music and dance school.

    Solesmes has several sports facilities: an indoor swimming pool, a football stadium and 2 sports halls. Twenty sports are offered thanks to these kits.

    Solesmes is proud of its architectural heritage, Solesmes has 3 buildings.

    First of all, the Saint Martin church dates from the 18th century. It was built from 1778 to 1781. The church replace an old edifice located in same location. But the edifice was not large enought for the people. The interior of church preserves Henry Eugene Delacroix's paintwork. Delacroix was an artist who lived in Solesmes in the 19th century. The church is in the Romanesque style.

    Secondary there is the town hall. It was built in 1903.

    Finally, the bandstand was built in 1888. It is still used for concert shows by Municipal Harmony of Solesmes.

    Every Thursday, a small market takes place around this bandstand.

    In Solesmes you can find pubs, hair salons, a police station, chemist's shops, a post office, several banks, a fire brigade, a library and medical centers.


    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 08-10-2011 07:48
    + couleur du texte





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