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    Correction /Sports

    Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

    [POSTER UNE NOUVELLE REPONSE] [Suivre ce sujet]


    Correction /Sports
    Message de misterg posté le 08-10-2011 à 16:47:58 (S | E | F)
    Hello everybody;

    Voici des petits textes que j'ai écrit pour un exercice, pouvez-vous me signaler mes fautes s'il vous plaît?

    Sportsmen are using doping because they want the victory, the media gratitude and of course the money of the prices. Moreover, the stresses ask for and the pressures are considerable. For instance, in the tour de France the cyclist must drive 3 500 kilometers during 3 weeks. It’s just amazing.

    The main problem with the doping is a premature death, because the products are not healthy for the body. After the doping, the organic defense become weak and a fatal disease will appear.

    The individual sport in team have predisposition to have problem with doping. Some manager and team doctor give doping to the sportsmen. For example, I read an interview of someone, who is a good cyclist. He tried to become a professional and a manager asks for him to take a doping product. He refused and so he didn’t become a professional cyclist in this team.
    Furthermore the problem with the doping is sometimes the best don’t win and the deceiver wins. Fortunately the organization penalizes the cheat winner. Nevertheless they destitute after many times and the new winner are not the pleasure of the podium with the national anthem.

    Unexpected text which are done during the season whenever. The sportsmen surprise by this unexpected text because the control can be anytime, anyway. It’s a pressure on the sportsmen, they are not sure if the product is again in their organism.
    Biological passport is a resume of the different displacement of the sportsmen and it possess the biological parameters of athletes. I explain, the biological data of each sportsman have a limit and the biological passport know this limit. If a sportsman exceeds this limit, the WADA organization opens a procedure against the sportsmen.

    Merci de votre aide.

    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 08-10-2011 16:49


    Réponse: Correction /Sports de notrepere, postée le 08-10-2011 à 19:54:32 (S | E)
    Hello

    Sportsmen are using doping (1) because they want the victory, the media gratitude and of course the money of the prices (2). Moreover, the stresses ask for (3) and the pressures are considerable. For instance, in the tour de France the cyclist must drive (4) 3 500 kilometers during for 3 weeks. It’s just amazing.

    The main problem with the doping is a premature death, because the products are not healthy for the body. After the doping, the organic defenses become weak and a fatal disease will appear.

    (1) après un verbe, il faut un nom; on peut dire aussi 'Sportsmen are doping'
    (2) mal dit; à revoir
    (3) je ne comprends pas
    (4) mauvais verbe; drive = car

    The individual sport in team (2) have a predisposition to have (5) problems with doping. Some managers and team doctors give doping (6) to the sportsmen. For example, I read an interview of someone who is a good cyclist. He tried to become a professional and a manager asked for him to take a doping product. He refused and so he didn’t become a professional cyclist in this team.

    (5) gérondif
    (6) N.B. doping est un verbe; dope/drugs est un nom

    Furthermore the problem with the doping is sometimes the best don’t win and the deceiver wins. Fortunately the organizations penalize the cheat winner (2). Nevertheless they destitute after many times and the new winner are not the pleasure of the podium with the national anthem. (7)

    (7) cette phrase n'a pas de sens

    Unexpected text which are done during the season whenever. (7) The sportsmen surprise by this unexpected text because the control can be anytime, anyway. (7) It’s a pressure on the sportsmen, they are not sure if the product is again in their organism (2).

    Biological passport is a resume of the different displacement of the sportsmen and it possess the biological parameters of athletes. (7) I explain, the biological data of each sportsman have a limit and the biological passport know this limit. (7) If a sportsman exceeds this limit, the WADA organization opens a procedure against the sportsmen.

    En rose = inutile ; à supprimer

    Malheureusement, la fin de votre texte n'a pas de sens et je ne comprends pas du tout ce que vous voulez dire.



    Réponse: Correction /Sports de gerondif, postée le 09-10-2011 à 10:41:18 (S | E)
    Bonjour,

    On sent bien le texte français derrière votre traduction ou traducteur, vérifiez que vous ou la machine avez bien détecté les pluriels parce que presque tous vos pluriels restent au singulier.

    D'ailleurs, voyez, notrepère, locuteur américain, ne comprend rien à votre fin de texte alors qu'elle est claire pour moi quand la traduction mot-à-mot du français se déroule dans ma tête .

    the cyclist must drive

    the different displacement
    Some manager and team doctor

    the new winner are not (ici, nom singulier et verbe pluriel).

    Certaines phrases n'ont pas de verbe:

    Unexpected text which are done during the season whenever. Des tests surprises qui sont faits pendant la saison n'importe quand (d'ailleurs, whenever signifie à chaque fois que..)

    Soignez davantage vos productions.




    Réponse: Correction /Sports de misterg, postée le 09-10-2011 à 11:21:10 (S | E)
    Bonjour,

    Je n'utilise pas de traducteur, mais c'est vrai que je me colle trop au français lorsque j'écris et je cherche les mots manquants sur Wordreference.

    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 09-10-2011 11:21




    Réponse: Correction /Sports de misterg, postée le 11-10-2011 à 19:02:26 (S | E)
    Hello,

    J'ai modifié mon texte; pouvez-vous me signaler mes erreurs s'il vous plaît?

    Sportsmen are doping because they want victory, media gratitude and of course money of victory. Moreover, the stresses ask for the body and the pressures are considerable. For instances, in the Tour de France the cyclists must ride 3500 km for 3 weeks. It’s just amazing.

    In addition, the main problem is a premature death, because the products are not healthy for the body. After doping, the organic defenses become weak and a fatal disease will appear.

    The individual sports teams have a predisposition to having problems with doping.
    It exist doping network (réseau de dopage) which give dope to the sportsmen.
    For example, I read an interview of someone who is a good cyclist. He tried to become a professional and a manager asked him to take a doping product. He refused, so he didn’t become a professional cyclist in this team.
    Furthermore the problem with doping is sometimes the best don’t win and the deceiver wins. Fortunately organizations of sports penalize the cheater. Nevertheless the new winners are not pleasure of the podium. It’s a chance to share his pleasure with the public miss.

    Let’s turn our attention to the questions of how are we fighting against doping.

    Unexpected test are using to fight against the doping. But what is the unexpected test, it is a test which are done anywhere during the season. So the sportsmen are surprise by this test. It’s a pressure on the sportsmen, they are not sure if the products are still in their organism.

    Another weapon using by WADA is the biological passport. The biological passport is an ongoing electronic record of variable in the blood of an athlete. By monitoring changes in these variables, researchers can determine if a competitor is using illegal substances or practices.
    Currently few sports use biological passport, there are cycling, rowing, athletic and triathlon.

    Thank you for your help.

    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 11-10-2011 21:21



    Réponse: Correction /Sports de gerondif, postée le 12-10-2011 à 18:00:50 (S | E)
    Bonsoir,

    Sportsmen are doping because they want (la)victory, (la)media gratitude and of course (l')money of victory(idées définies). Moreover, the stresses ask for the body and the pressures are considerable. For instances , in the Tour de France the cyclists must ride 3500 km for(in) 3 weeks. It’s just amazing(terme laudatif).

    In addition, the main problem is a premature death, because the products are not healthy for the body. After doping, the organic defenses become weak and a fatal disease will(will est un peu trop directif, can ou may irait mieux) appear.

    The individual sports teams have a predisposition to (for?) having problems with doping.
    It exist doping network (réseau de dopage) which give(sing, pluriel?) dope to the sportsmen.
    For example, I read an interview of someone who is(was) a good cyclist. He tried to become a professional and a manager asked him to take a doping product. He refused, so he didn’t become (he never became serait bien mieux) a professional cyclist in this team.
    Furthermore the problem with doping is that sometimes the best don’t win and the deceiver (best est au pluriel et deceiver au singulier, pourquoi?) wins. Fortunately organizations of sports penalize the cheater. Nevertheless the new winners are(avoir) not pleasure of the podium. It’s a chance to share his pleasure with the public miss(vous voulez dire une chance manquée ? commencez par "they miss.....").

    Let’s turn our attention to the questions of how are we (auxiliaire)fighting against doping.

    Unexpected test(pluriel) are using to fight against the doping. But what is the unexpected test, it is a test which are(verbe pluriel derrière "a test") done anywhere during the season. So the sportsmen are surprise by this test. It’s a pressure on the sportsmen, they are not sure if the products are still in their organism.

    Another weapon using by WADA is the biological passport. The biological passport is an ongoing electronic record of variable(pluriel) in the blood of an athlete. By monitoring changes in these variables, researchers can determine if a competitor is using illegal substances or practices.
    Currently few sports use biological passport, there are (il y a ne va pas ici)cycling, rowing, athletic (le sport prend un s comme mathematics)and triathlon.






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