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Correction/synthèse
Message de hpv posté le 05-04-2012 à 22:32:42 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à toutes et à tous,
je dois réaliser une synthèse d'un article et j'aurais voulu savoir si ce que j'avais fait vous semblait correct, au niveau du résumé et de la grammaire.
Merci à vous pour votre aide.
Voici le lien pour l'article: Lien internet
Voici mon travail :
It was a bad period for Lisa Price. The approach of the Valentine's Day had to allow her to increase the sales of her young company of cosmetics called “Carol’s Daughter”. The problem: she conceived herself her products and it had been already two weeks that she was sick. Impossible for her, to confide her recipes to another person who could create her products and assure the sale. She does not want to share her recipes, being afraid that we steal her work. She took aware with this situation that she had an important problem in her hands-on management style.
It is in her kitchen of Brooklyn that she began to prepare fragrances and lotions which she wanted unique. She used books which explained her bases of essences of perfume. Then she made several mixtures, experiences so finding new products. She noted every time her discoveries on a small book.
Thanks to her mother and to her family, she was able to transform her hobby into business. After a first success on markets: she had sold in the day all her goods, she decided to take up her company.
She accumulated two works. In 1996 she resigned from her first work.
Three years later, she moved her place of production of her kitchen in a warehouse.
She realized that she needed advice of professional to continue her activity. It is Steve Stoute who came to his help. At the beginning Prince was worried because Steve was not a person of her family. But Steve was not an enemy. On the contrary, he found new markets for "Carol Daughter".
It’s to beginning with small means that Price managed to take up an important business.
Merci à vous et bonne soirée.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 06-04-2012 06:16
Message de hpv posté le 05-04-2012 à 22:32:42 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à toutes et à tous,
je dois réaliser une synthèse d'un article et j'aurais voulu savoir si ce que j'avais fait vous semblait correct, au niveau du résumé et de la grammaire.
Merci à vous pour votre aide.
Voici le lien pour l'article: Lien internet
Voici mon travail :
It was a bad period for Lisa Price. The approach of the Valentine's Day had to allow her to increase the sales of her young company of cosmetics called “Carol’s Daughter”. The problem: she conceived herself her products and it had been already two weeks that she was sick. Impossible for her, to confide her recipes to another person who could create her products and assure the sale. She does not want to share her recipes, being afraid that we steal her work. She took aware with this situation that she had an important problem in her hands-on management style.
It is in her kitchen of Brooklyn that she began to prepare fragrances and lotions which she wanted unique. She used books which explained her bases of essences of perfume. Then she made several mixtures, experiences so finding new products. She noted every time her discoveries on a small book.
Thanks to her mother and to her family, she was able to transform her hobby into business. After a first success on markets: she had sold in the day all her goods, she decided to take up her company.
She accumulated two works. In 1996 she resigned from her first work.
Three years later, she moved her place of production of her kitchen in a warehouse.
She realized that she needed advice of professional to continue her activity. It is Steve Stoute who came to his help. At the beginning Prince was worried because Steve was not a person of her family. But Steve was not an enemy. On the contrary, he found new markets for "Carol Daughter".
It’s to beginning with small means that Price managed to take up an important business.
Merci à vous et bonne soirée.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 06-04-2012 06:16
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