Vérification /texte

Vérification /texte
Message de dam26 posté le 04-09-2012 à 10:44:46 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous,

je suis en première et j' aimerais savoir s'il vous plaît si mon texte est bon pour la formulation des phrases et des temps. c
C'est un test oral et ce qui est mis entre parenthèses est pour répondre aux questions posées.
Merci d'avance pour votre aide.

Meeting
Good morning Ladies, today I'm going to explain you whenever organise a meeting. With different stages following, you will forget nothing.

It's get organised in 3 stages: equipments, how contacts the persons and the progress.
Firstly, the most important to do the guest list for the good continuation stages, (because it will be more easy for choose the meeting room if it know the persons number) once you know that, you would choose a room not too small not too big with the air conditioning or windows for well-ventilated. According to the availability, either in one of our room or in a hotel.
For materials, take notes! you will need: chairs, a projector and a white screen, badges, pens, a dustbin, a table on which there will be a thermos, plastic teaspoons, cups of coffee, sugar, and cookies, glasses, water and soda. You have the choose for the arrangement and have you any question up to here?

The contact will be by e-mails or if you haven't their e-mails, the sending will be by letters and send 3 week before the meeting.
E-mail has to contain: the date, the hour, the address with the explanation (the maps with the route to follow) and the subject of meeting. Put attachment a forms to fill ( name and first name, company and if it take part in or not) and to send back, they will receive a e-mail to confirm.
You have to prepare the programs of meeting and joining it an index card of appreciation.

The end, you will be here a half hour before for put in place all, the programs on the chairs with card of appreciation inside it, to check the projector, you prepare the table with coffee, cookies and both of you will hold the welcome.

Thanks you for the heading and good work

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Modifié par lucile83 le 04-09-2012 10:57

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Réponse: Vérification /texte de bluestar, postée le 06-09-2012 à 15:00:47 (S | E)
Bonjour..

Meeting
Good morning Ladies, today I'm going to explain to you whenever how to organise a meeting. With different stages following, you will forget nothing.

It's should be get organised in 3 stages: equipments, how to contacts the persons and the progress.
Firstly, the most important requirement is to do draw up the guest list for the good continuation stages, (because it will be more easy easier to for choose the meeting room when you know if it know the persons number of guests Oonce you know that, you would choose a suitable room not too small not too big with the air conditioning or windows for goodwell ventilationed. According to the availability, choose either in one of our rooms or a room in a hotel.
For materials, take notes! Yyou will need: chairs, a projector and a white screen, badges, pens, a dustbin, a table on which there will be with a thermos, plastic teaspoons, cups of coffee, sugar, and cookies, glasses, water and soda. You have the choose for the arrangement you require. and Hhave you any questions up to here?

The contact will be by e-mails or if you haven't their e-mails addresses, the sending will be by letters and send 3 weeks before the meeting.
E-mail has to contain: the date, the hour, the address with the explanation (the maps with the route to follow) and the subject of meeting. Put attachment a Attach forms to fill ( name and first name, company and if it takes part in or not) and to send back,; they will receive a e-mail to confirm.
You have to prepare the programmes of meeting and includejoining it an index card of appreciation.

Finally The end, you will need to be here a half hour before for put in place all to prepare everything the programmes on the chairs with cards of appreciation inside it, and to check the projector., Yyou will prepare the table with coffee, cookies and both of you will hold the welcome. be ready to welcome your guests.Thanks you for the heading your attention and good work

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Réponse: Vérification /texte de nveras, postée le 06-09-2012 à 16:13:04 (S | E)
Bonjour Dam26.
Apart from the mistakes that bluestar has already corrected, there are some problems in your text.

You said in the beginning that you are teaching "HOW to organise a meeting", however, in the text you appear to be organising a meeting. For example. You wrote "The contact will be by e-mails". Taking into consideration the fact that you are teaching "how" and not giving instructions for a specific meeting, you'd better say "The contact can be done" or "The contact must be done.." "The contact has to be done"
The same thing when you said "you will be here" where you have to use "must be" "have to be". And more, not "here" but "there".
Another mistake is to write a singular noun without the necessary article before as in "the subject of meeting" it (meeting)needs to be preceded by "the" or "a".
You will find these mistakes in many parts of your text.

I hope I could help. Au revoir.

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Modifié par nveras le 06-09-2012 16:56

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Modifié par lucile83 le 06-09-2012 19:23

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