Correction/nourriture et santé

Correction/nourriture et santé
Message de osef posté le 07-10-2012 à 14:43:03 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous,

Je suis en Seconde, je n'ai jamais été très douée en anglais (encore à l'écrit ça va mais mon accent ). La consigne était à partir de deux textes d'écrire un paragraphe avec 3 mots du type "while", "unlike", etc. Alors je vous présente ce que j'ai fait, et s'il y a une bonne âme qui veut bien m'aider à corriger les imperfections dans mon texte (pas faute d'avoir cherché partout), alors ce serait super sympa. ;)
Texte :

The first document gives a positive opinion on the food that is offered by Subway : various, not too fatty, not too salty and healthy, unlike the second document which calls into question the proposed food : too fatty, too high in calories and unhealthy.
The second document accuses Subway to affirm that its products are safe whereas they omit important details in the nutritional information they provide.
Thus we have two different views on food offered by fast food : the first point of view, provided by the website of Subway, says that food is safe and that it corresponds the standards, while the second point view, provided through an article in a newspaper, says that the food is bad and dangerous for health and is partly culpable to the high rate of obesity and premature deaths that entails.

Normalement il ne doit pas y avoir trop d'imperfections de langue (ou alors je suis vraiment mauvaise en anglais :D), mais si quelqu'un pouvait me confirmer/m'aider,ce serait très sympathique.
Merci pour vos réponses.
Osef.

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Modifié par lucile83 le 07-10-2012 14:53

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Réponse: Correction/nourriture et santé de bluestar, postée le 07-10-2012 à 21:05:59 (S | E)
Bonjour..

The first document gives a positive opinion on of the food that is offered by Subway : various, not too fatty, not too salty, and healthy, unlike the second document which calls into question the proposed food : too fatty, too high in calories and unhealthy.
The second document accuses Subway to of affirming that its products are safe whereas although they omit important details in the nutritional information they provide.
Thus we have two different views on fast food offered by fast food Subway: the first point of view, provided by the website of Subway, says that its food is safe and that it corresponds satisfies the standards, while the second point view, provided through an article in a newspaper, says that the food is bad and dangerous for health and is partly culpable to responsible for the high rate of obesity and premature deaths that entails.

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