Correction / magique

Correction / magique
Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

[POSTER UNE NOUVELLE REPONSE] [Suivre ce sujet]

Correction / magique
Message de spirou16 posté le 25-04-2013 à 10:18:30 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,

J'ai un devoir à faire, inspiré du livre " The magic finger":
Il faut écrire une histoire où j'imagine que j'ai quelque chose de magique en ma possession, et plus précisément une partie du corps.
Il faut écrire tout le texte au " past tense".
Pouvez-vous m'aider à corriger mes fautes s'il vous plaît?
Merci pour votre aide.

On day, when I was nine years old, I put my magic hair coloring and I saw that all coloring was red! I was surpried, because I wanted to color this coloring with red.I understood my hair was magic and they colored with the color I wanted!
I tried to color my green desk on blue with on of my magic hair. My desk was blue! But I was effraid that my parents didn't understand my new power... I took another on magic hair and I layed on my desk and I prononced " green".... This was green! I trayed on the flowers in the garden with another hair, with another color and at each time this is magic! I didn't color the sky because I couldn't touch it!
I used my magic hair for coloring: flowers, papers and a lot of little things in my room. But it was a secret, a big dark secret for me. That come, when I arrived in my new house, I think this magic hair was a greqt grand-mother's legacy because in my family, my great grand-mother: Melina Alpagane was a with.
However she knew this power but she thought that I shall not can the métriser for a very long time. She knew that by cutting my hair my power disparaited, but I did not know him. One day She cut my hair because she found but too dry hair.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 25-04-2013 12:40

Réponse: Correction / magique de mariesuzon, postée le 25-04-2013 à 14:27:51 (S | E)
Bonjour, voilà une correction rapide des plus grosses fautes, il y en a sûrement d'autres... le début de l'histoire est étrange, j'ai du mal à comprendre ce que vous voulez dire.

One day, when I was nine years old, I put my magic hair coloring and I saw that all coloring was red! I was surprised, because I wanted to color this coloring with red. I understood my hair was magic and ~~they~~ it colored ~~with~~ things on the color I wanted!
I tried to color my green desk on blue with one of my magic hair. My desk was blue! But I was ~~effraid~~ afraid that my parents didn't understand my new power... I took another one magic hair ~~and~~ that I layed ??? placed ? on my desk and I pronounced "green".... ~~This was~~ It became green! I ~~trayed~~ tried on the flowers in the garden with another hair, with another color and at each time this is was magic! I didn't color the sky because I couldn't touch it!
I used my magic hair for coloring: flowers, papers and a lot of little things in my room. But it was a secret, a big dark secret for me. That come, voulez vous dire "cela arriva" ? when I arrived in my new house, I think this magic hair was a ~~greqt~~ great grand-mother's legacy because in my family, my great grand-mother: Melina Alpagane was a witch.
However she knew this power but she thought that I shall not ~~can the métriser~~ control it for a very long time. She knew that by cutting my hair my power would ~~disparaited~~ disappears, but I did not ~~know him~~ knew that. One day, she cut my hair because she found ~~but too dry hair~~ it too dry.

[POSTER UNE NOUVELLE REPONSE] [Suivre ce sujet]

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais