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    Correction/histoire vraie

    Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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    Correction/histoire vraie
    Message de gnanga posté le 07-05-2013 à 12:42:26 (S | E | F)
    Hello dear all,

    Please I would like you to help me to translate proofread this text in order to perform my English.
    Thank you for your answers.

    A young lady called LAIMI is working in a lawyer office in WINDHOEK.
    2 weeks ago, this lady went in hairdressing of one big supermarket of the city, located on Independence Avenue in order to put on her hair some hair called Brazilians. So, she spend a huge some of 1500 dollars for her hair and appeared with a new look of Brazilians.
    She is got a big hair ache for 2 weeks and none pills help her to feel better. She is waking up regularly with a hair ache and finally she decided to see a doctor whose gave her a prescription of some medicines to calm her, but those medicines have some effect just for some hours and her hair ache begun again after ward very bad than before.
    Desperate, she saw a specialist who, after doing her haematologic and cerebral exams, but he detect nothing.
    Due to his hair ache, she is can°t working well in office except sleeping. Back to her doctor with his frequent hair ache, the doctor so decided to check is hair dress having her beautiful Brazilians. On it, he discovered some worms in her cranium and which the test shown some eggs of worms on her hair in which the crown have been incubated.
    The doctor concluded that those hairs provided of a human dead body because those generally appeared on a dead body.
    Shocked by this revelation, the young lady has cut down his hair and placed on ant bio-therapy for 2 weeks ago.

    Thank u all and i hope i would read you soon.

    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 07-05-2013 16:03
    Pas de style sms + orthographe de I (pas i)



    Réponse: Correction/histoire vraie de dolfine56, postée le 07-05-2013 à 15:06:51 (S | E)
    Bonjour,

    Que proposez-vous?



    Réponse: Correction/histoire vraie de lucile83, postée le 07-05-2013 à 16:08:00 (S | E)
    Bonjour,

    Si vous désirez une correction, ne parlez pas de translate/translation
    Au vu des fautes ça doit être une correction.



    Réponse: Correction/histoire vraie de notrepere, postée le 07-05-2013 à 16:59:53 (S | E)
    Bonjour

    I see you want a "correction" not a translation.

    2 weeks ago, this lady went in hairdressing (1) of one of the big supermarkets of(2) the city, located on Independence Avenue in order to put on her hair some hair called Brazilians (3). So, she spend(4) a huge some(5) of 1500 dollars for her hair and appeared with a new look of Brazilians.
    She is got a big hair ache (1) for 2 weeks and none pills help(4) her to feel better. She is waking (4) up regularly with a hair ache and finally she decided to see a doctor whose gave her a prescription of some medicines to calm her, but those medicines have(4) some effect just for some(combien?) hours and her hair ache begun(4) again afterward very bad (worse) than before.


    (1) ne se dit pas de cette façon
    (2) mauvaise préposition
    (3) je ne comprends pas ce que vous voulez dire
    (4) mauvais temps
    (5) orthographe




    Réponse: Correction/histoire vraie de gnanga, postée le 08-05-2013 à 10:45:24 (S | E)
    hello dear all,

    concerning your notes dear NOTREPERE thank you and I used another meaning so please is it true now?

    2 weeks ago, this lady went into a hair salon of one of the big supermarkets in the city, located on Independence Avenue in order to put on her hair some wicks called Brazilian Hair (mettre sur la tête des meches dites mêches Brésiliennes) (3). So, she spent(4) a huge sum(5) of 1500 dollars for her hair and appeared with a new look of Brazilians.
    She is got a big headache (1) for 2 weeks and none( aucun médicament ne l'aidait) of the pills was help her to feel better. She was getup regularly with a headache and finally she decided to see a doctor whose gave her a prescription of some medicines to calm her, but those medicines had(4) some effect just for few(combien?) hours and her headache began again afterward very bad (worse) than before.

    Thank you all



    Réponse: Correction/histoire vraie de sherry48, postée le 08-05-2013 à 13:55:39 (S | E)
    Hello.
    Some of your corrections have improved your text.

    2 weeks ago, this lady went into a hair salon of(different preposition) one of the big supermarkets in the city*, located on Independence Avenue in order to put on her hair some wicks called Brazilian Hair (the dictionary will give you the actual name of this). So, she spent a huge sum of 1500 dollars for her hair and appeared with a new look of Brazilians.(use adjective and noun)She is got a big headache for 2 weeks and none of the pills was help her to feel better. She was getup regularly with a headache and finally she decided to see a doctor whose gave her a prescription of some medicines to calm her, but those medicines had some effect just for __ few hours and her headache began again afterward, very bad worse than before.

    *Is the hair salon inside the supermarket?

    Sherry



    Réponse: Correction/histoire vraie de gnanga, postée le 08-05-2013 à 16:12:18 (S | E)
    hi Hello :

    I will try to use other words and tenses:

    Two weeks ago, this lady went into a hair salon into(different preposition) one of the big supermarkets in the city*, located on Independence Avenue in order to put on her hair some wicks so-called Brazilian Hair (the dictionary will give you the actual name of this)I've get it in a dictionary(www.linguee.fr). So, she spent one large sum of 1500 dollars for her hair and appeared with a new beautiful brazilian hair(use adjective and noun)She still having a big headache for 2 weeks and none of the pills didn't help her to feel better. She woke up regularly with a headache and finally she decided to see a doctor who prescribed her a lot of medicines to calm her, but those medicines had some effect just for few hours and her headache began again afterward, very bad worse than before

    *Is the hair salon inside the supermarket? yes it is.
    Thank you

    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 08-05-2013 20:56



    Réponse: Correction/histoire vraie de sherry48, postée le 08-05-2013 à 20:28:52 (S | E)
    Hello.
    Two weeks ago, this lady went into a hair salon into one of the big supermarkets in the city, located on Independence Avenue, in order to put on her hair some wicks so-called Brazilian Hair (I learned it as highlights). So, she spent one (definite article) large sum of 1500 dollars for her hair and appeared with a new beautiful (Reverse order) brazilian hairdo. She still having (present continuous form always uses to be) a big* headache for 2 weeks and none of the pills didn't help** her to feel better. She woke up regularly with a headache and finally she decided to see a doctor who prescribed her a lot of medicines to calm her, but those medicines had some effect just for ***few hours and her headache began again afterward, very bad worse than before.

    * A headache could be severe, bad, or terrible.
    **None of the pills helped her. The pills didn't help. (No double negative).
    ***were effective for just __ few hours

    Sherry




    Réponse: Correction/histoire vraie de gnanga, postée le 13-05-2013 à 12:16:34 (S | E)
    Hello dear all and thank youu!!!

    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 13-05-2013 14:34



    Réponse: Correction/histoire vraie de gnanga, postée le 13-05-2013 à 14:45:06 (S | E)
    hello dear,

    I hope the text is correct now after seeing your corrections :

    A young lady called LAIMI is working in a lawyer office in WINDOECK.
    Two weeks ago, she went into hair salon of one of the big super markets of the city located on Independence Avenue in order to put some wicks so-called Brazilians hair. So she spent large sum of 1500 USD for her hairdo and appeared with a beautiful new Brazilian look.

    She is got a terrible headache for 2 weeks and none of the pills helped her to feel better. She woke up continuously with a terrible headache and finally she decided to see a doctor who prescribed her a lot of medicines which were effective just for a few hours and the headache began again worse than before.

    Desperate, she saw a specialist who, after doing some hematologic and cerebral tests, detects anything.

    Due to her headache, she was concentrated in her office for sleeping than working. Back to her doctor with her terrible headache always remain constant, the doctor decided to examine her hairdo with her beautiful Brazilians Hair on when she found burying on her cranium, and which was shown by medical tests, presence of some eggs on his hair into what some crown were incubated

    The doctors concluded that her hair was probably provided of human dead because those generally appeared on dead body.

    Chocked by this revelation, the lady was cut down her hairdo and placed on ant biotherapy for 2 weeks ago.

    Thank you



    Réponse: Correction/histoire vraie de sherry48, postée le 14-05-2013 à 20:45:00 (S | E)
    Hello.
    One of my Brazilian students has very long, dark brown hair. She went to the salon to have light brown highlights added. It is beautiful! Apparently, this is something different, and it may be a hair weave, which makes more sense to me than wicks.

    A young lady called LAIMI is working in a lawyer office in WINDOECK. (repeated action, present tense)
    Two weeks ago, she went (in)to __ hair salon of one of the big super markets of the city located on Independence Avenue in order to put some wicks so-called also called? Brazilians hair. So she spent __ large sum of 1500 USD for her hairdo and appeared with a beautiful new Brazilian look.

    She is got a terrible headache for 2 weeks and none of the pills helped her to feel better. She woke up continuously with a terrible headache and finally she decided to see a doctor who prescribed her a lot of medicines which were effective just for a few hours and the headache began again worse than before.

    Desperate, she saw a specialist who, after doing some hematologic and cerebral tests, detects anything. (anything is good if it is negative)

    Due to her headache, she was concentrated in her office for sleeping than working. ____ ____Back to her doctor with her terrible headache always remain__ constant,. the doctor decided to examine her hairdo with her beautiful Brazilians Hair on when and she found something burying on her cranium scalp, and which was shown by medical tests (verb here), __ presence of some eggs on his hair into what some crown were incubated

    The doctors concluded that her hair was probably provided of human dead because those generally appeared on __ dead body.

    Chocked by this revelation, the lady was cut down (off?) her hairdo and was placed on ant biotherapy for 2 weeks ago

    Sherry



    Réponse: Correction/histoire vraie de gnanga, postée le 15-05-2013 à 10:51:03 (S | E)
    Hello sherry;

    A young lady called LAIMI works in a lawyer office in WINDOECK.
    Two weeks ago, she went into a hair salon of one of the big super markets of the city located on Independence Avenue in order to put some wicks so-called (britanique English Brazilians hair. So she spent a large sum of 1500 USD for her hairdo and appeared with a beautiful new Brazilian look.

    She has got a terrible headache for 2 weeks and none of the pills helped her to feel better. She woke up continuously with a terrible headache and finally she decided to see a doctor who prescribed her a lot of medicines which were effective just for a few hours and the headache began again worse than before.

    Desperate, she saw a specialist who, after doing some hematologic and cerebral tests, detects nothing.

    Due to her headache, she can't work well in office except sleeping. Back to her doctor with her terrible headache always remain constant, the doctor decided to examine her beautiful Brazilians Hair when she found something burying on her cranium scalp, and medical tests shown the presence of some eggs on his hair in wich some crown were incubated

    The doctors concluded that her hair was probably recovered on corpses because those generally appeared on the dead body.

    Chocked by this revelation, the lady has cut her hairdo and placed on ant biotherapy for 2 weeks.

    *wicks so-called Brazilians hair: mèches dites Bresiliennes.

    Thank you



    Réponse: Correction/histoire vraie de sherry48, postée le 15-05-2013 à 12:13:05 (S | E)
    Hello.
    This will be the last correction, I think.

    1. mèches dites Bresiliennes-Brazilian is plural in French to agree with the noun, but since there is no agreement in English between nouns and adjectives including, it should be... also called or also known as Brazilian wicks. (I'm writing wicks, since I've already indicated what I think the name is).

    2.she has got a headache-OK, but when you add a duration-2 weeks-the tense is wrong.

    3.saw a specialist (past tense) who detects nothing (present tense)...found something burying-is it happening right now, or has it already happened? If it is right now, you could say burrowing, not burying, or more likely it has already happened, so you will use a form ending in ed.

    4. shown is the wrong form, and never appears without the verb have ...use the past tense form.

    5.cranium refers to the bone, scalp refers to the flesh covering the cranium...just scalp.

    6. his hair? I thought it was a woman...

    7. in which some crown were incubated...some eggs which had incubated on her crown?

    8. recovered from a corpse...a dead body

    9. I have corrected the spelling of chocked more than once...

    10. antibiotic therapy

    Sherry



    Réponse: Correction/histoire vraie de gnanga, postée le 15-05-2013 à 13:15:14 (S | E)
    Hi dear all

    ....also called Brazilian higlights
    Thank you sherry

    -------------------
    Modifié par gnanga le 15-05-2013 13:28



    Réponse: Correction/histoire vraie de sherry48, postée le 15-05-2013 à 15:14:30 (S | E)
    Hello.
    OK, I can see your confusion, since I gave two opinions about this word wicks. However, I changed my opinion when I saw the end of your story in your 13/5 post.
    ***One of my Brazilian students has very long, dark brown hair. She went to the salon to have light brown highlights added. It is beautiful! Apparently, this is something different, and it may be a hair weave, which makes more sense to me than wicks.
    I found a link. Lien internet

    Sherry

    -------------------
    Modifié par sherry48 le 15-05-2013 15:15



    Réponse: Correction/histoire vraie de kvcarter, postée le 15-05-2013 à 23:50:07 (S | E)
    Un point - c'est 'Shocked';
    'Ch' est utilisé avec le mot 'Cheese', avec un Tch (atchoum)

    Kieran



    Réponse: Correction/histoire vraie de gnanga, postée le 16-05-2013 à 09:40:26 (S | E)
    Hello dear all,

    it's ok.




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