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    Black population /America

    Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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    Black population /America
    Message de sachou31 posté le 30-04-2014 à 17:08:05 (S | E | F)
    Bonjour.
    Je viens de finir de rédiger ma notion "Myths and Heroes" pour le Bac. Mais j'ai pris un risque en ne suivant pas seulement les documents que j'avais vus en cours, et en faisant mon propre plan sur la Communauté noire des Etats-Unis au 20ème siècle. Pouvez-vous, s'il vous plait, corriger mes fautes et me donner des avis, histoire que ce que je dise le jour J ne soit pas trop catastrophique ?
    Thank you !

    What is a popular story or belief that evolved in time and that conveys the ideals of a given society ? It's a myth. And that what I am going to talk about. Generally, heroes are the legitimate characters of myths. A heroe is considerate as someone who does things that other people can't or won't do. I will focus my attention on a founding myth of the American Nation. It's the American Dream. I am going to talk about the contradiction between the Declaration of Independance and the reality experienced by the Black population of the United States, espacially during the 20th century. Was the black population really excluded from the American Dream ? To answer this question, I will first examine the concept of the American Dream as it is seen by everyone, through the famous song American Land, interpreted by Bruce Springsteen. After discussing that, I will try to show that the Declaration of Independance still a myth for the Black population in America. For this, I will study a famous photography of Margaret Bourke-white named « The Louisville Flood », taken in 1937. I will also use a text, named « How fare we have come » which traces the whole history of the struggle for black equality in America.. Finally, I'll talk about Martin Luther King, who was considered as a hero for the Black Community For this, I will principally study his famous speech « I have a dream » pronounced on in 1963.

    First, I would like to say that The American dream, is characterized by the idea of an America full of promises, and very attractive. It let people think that anybody leaving in America, thanks to courage, work, force and determination, can succeed. People can begin from scratch and succeed or make fortunes. The American dream has always been a way to give a good image to the state. Foreigners come in America to begin a new and better life. A song of Bruce Springsteen, called American Land, summarize the vision of the majority of immigrants having for the country. This song praised the America, described as a land of opportunity. There are a lot of rags-to-riches stories in which self-made men climb the social radder and make it to the top. Bruce says that the America is a land of plenty, meaning that the country has a lot of things to offer, like gold and diamonds. This song pays tribute to the working class which built the cities with their hands and sweat.
    The Declaration of Independance of the United States, is based on the concept of the American Dream. Normally, its concerned everybody living in the country. But it seems that the American Dream still a myth sometimes, especially for a particular population of the US, which is the black community. That is my next part.

    Actually, the black community was excluded from the American Dream from the beginning.In the text « How fare we have come » adapted from The New York Daily News Life and dated of 2008, it is writting that, I quote, «the Founding Fathers wrote into the US Constitution that slaves were to be counted as three-fifths of a human being in the
    representative democracy that was being born.» After slavery, on the 20th century, black population, living mostly in the former Confederate states to the south, hadn't yet equale civils rights than the white population. Because of that, life in the country was very hard for them. The American dream was simply a myth, in spit of their pains. Margaret Bourke-White a famous american photographer, took a picture in 1937, named The Louisville Flood. We can see black people queuing in the foreground. They must have lost their homes and their jobs and rely on the Salvation Army. In the background, we can see a huge billboard with a typical WASP family, with a car and a jet. The car seems to be about to run over the line of people. The message is that not everybody could realise the American dream. There is also a huge gap between what is said in the Declaration of Independance and reality. The black population never reached the « highest standart of living » mentioned on the billboard.
    By observing the situation of the black community in the US, we wonder if the American Dream and the Declaration of Independance are myth or reality. A political man, named Martin Luther King, is considered as a hero by the black community, as a man who restored trust in the American Dream, thanks to who the Declaration of Independance remains a reality. That is my last part.

    (suite dans le prochain post).

    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 30-04-2014 18:14


    Réponse: Black population /America de sachou31, postée le 30-04-2014 à 17:09:36 (S | E)
    Martin Luther King was a black pastor. He is famous thanks to his speech « I have a dream » pronounced on the 28th of august 1963 which allowed the black population to get the seems civil rights than the white population of America. Martin made the US comply with its own values. During this speech, he said: “I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.” Then, he has become a real hero for the Black community of America, by changing things and making that anybody else did before him. The myth of the American Dream has become gradually a reality for everyone.

    I will sum up by simply saying that the reality of the American Dream can be remains in question. Yes/ Although, it was a real fondation for the United States, but we can see it as a lie. Particulary observing the conditions of the Black comunity on the 20th century, for instance. Martin Luther King was the only man who made the US comply with it owns values. He saved the black population of America, and was considered as a hero for that. We can think about the great black singer Ray Charles, who refused to play in a concert hall in Georgia because of a racial segregation law, respecting all the black americans.

    PS : Je dépasse les 5 minutes exigées. Si vous trouvez que des phrases sont inutiles, n'hésitez pas à les barrer !
    Thank you for everything ;)



    Réponse: Black population /America de pseudoinventif, postée le 01-05-2014 à 13:47:03 (S | E)
    C'est du bon boulot je trouve.
    je t'ai mis les phrases peut être pas essentielles entre parenthèses. ça me faisait peine de les supprimer, elles sont bien!


    What is a popular story or belief that evolved in time and that conveys the ideals of a given society ? It's a myth. And that what I am going to talk about.
    Generally, heroes are the legitimate characters of myths. A heroe is seen as someone who does things that other people can't or won't do. I will focus my attention on a founding myth of the American Nation. It's the American Dream. I am going DEAL WITH the contradiction between the Declaration of Independance and the reality experienced by the Black population of the United States, espacially during the 20th century. Was the black population really excluded from the American Dream ? To answer this question,
    I:/ I will first examine the concept of the American Dream as it is seen by everyone, through the famous song American Land, interpreted by Bruce Springsteen.
    II:/ THEN suffit I will show that the Declaration of Independance IS still a myth for the Black population in America. For this, I will study a famous photography of Margaret Bourke-white named « The Louisville Flood », taken in 1937. I will also use a text, named « How fare we have come » which traces the whole history of the struggle for black equality in America..
    III:/ Finally I'll talk about Martin Luther King, who was considered as a hero for the Black Community For this, I will principally study his famous speech « I have a dream » pronounced on in 1963.

    TO BEGIN WITH I'LL say that The American dream, is characterized by the idea of an America full of promises, and very attractive. It let people think that anybody leaving in America, thanks to courage, work, force and determination, can succeed. (joli rythme ternaire^^) People can begin from scratch and make fortunes. The American dream has always been a way to give a good image to the state. Foreigners cAme (tu parles au passé) in America to begin a new and better life. THE SONG I CHOSE, American Land, summarizeS the vision of the majority of immigrants having for the country. This song praised the America, described as a land of opportunity. (There are a lot of rags-to-riches stories in which self-made men climb the social radder and make it to the top.) Bruce says that the America is a land of plenty, meaning that the country has a lot of things to offer, like gold and diamonds. This song pays tribute to the working class which built the cities with their hands and sweat.
    The Declaration of Independance of the United States, is based on the concept of the American Dream. Normally, its concerned everybody living in the country. But it seems that the American Dream still a myth sometimes, especially for a particular population of the US, which is the black community. That is my next part.

    Actually (si tu veux dire aujourd'hui, ou actuellement, il te faut dire "Today" ou " Nourdays". Actually signifie "en fait" en anglais), the black community was excluded from the American Dream from the beginning.In the text « How fare we have come » adapted from The New York Daily News Life and dated of 2008, it is WRITTEN that, I quote, «the Founding Fathers wrote into the US Constitution that slaves were to be counted as three-fifths of human being in therepresentative democracy that was being born.» After slavery, IN the 20th century, black population, living mostly in the former Confederate states to the south, hadn't yet equale civils rights than the white population. Because of that, life in the country was very hard for them. The American dream was simply a myth, in spit of their pains. Margaret Bourke-White a famous american photographer, took a picture in 1937, named The Louisville Flood. We can see black people queuing in the foreground. They must have lost their homes and their jobs and rely on the Salvation Army. In the background, we can see a huge billboard with a typical WASP family, with a car and a jet. The car seems to be about to run over the line of people. The message is that not everybody could realise the American dream. There is also a huge gap between what is said in the Declaration of Independance and reality. The black population never reached the « highest standart of living » mentioned on the billboard.

    By observing the situation of the black community in the US, we wonder if the American Dream and the Declaration of Independance are myth or reality. A political man, named Martin Luther King, is considered as a hero by the black community, as a man who restored trust in the American Dream, thanks to who the Declaration of Independance remains a reality. That is my last part.

    suite ds le prochain message!



    Réponse: Black population /America de pseudoinventif, postée le 01-05-2014 à 13:59:34 (S | E)
    Martin Luther King was a black pastor KNOWN FOR HIS speech « I have a dream » pronounced IN 1963 (voir précisions 1.) which allowed the black population to get the seems civil rights than the white population of America. Martin made the US comply with its own values. (During this speech, he said: “I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.” ) SINCE then, he is (ce n'était pas faux mais c'est mieux comme cela) a real hero for the Black community of America, by changing things and making that anybody else did before him. The myth of the American Dream has become gradually a reality for everyone.

    (I will sum up by simply saying that) -> TO CONCLUDE, the reality of the American Dream can be remained in question. It was a real fondation for the United States, but we can see it as a lie, for instance observing the conditions of the Black comunity on the 20th century. Martin Luther King was the only man who made the US comply with it owns values. WHAT MAKES HIM A HERO IS THAT He saved the black Americans (on peut juste dire "the blacks. We can think about the great black singer Ray Charles, who refused to play in a concert hall in Georgia because of a racial segregation law, respecting all the black americans.

    Ma foi c'est bien!
    pour la précision:
    pour gagner du temps, n'hésites pas à supprimer toutes les informations d'ordre du détail, ou de la précision. En effet, on ne te demande pas un exposé universitaire mais juste de montrer que tu sais parler anglais avec aise et cohérence. Tu n'as pas l'air d'avoir de problèmes de ce côté là. tu dois juste discuter le sujet. montre justement que tu es à l'aise et que tu peux aller piocher dans tes connaissances pour dialoguer sans faire de fautes grammaticales. c'est plus que ce que l'on te demande mais cela tu le sais.
    Autre chose si je ne l'ai pas déjà dite:
    évite tout ce qui est phrases d'introduction à rallonge genre "nous allons voir que". c'est inutile et fait perdre du temps. même si cela fait classe.
    bonne journée.



    Réponse: Black population /America de sachou31, postée le 01-05-2014 à 15:10:31 (S | E)
    Merci beaucoup ! Je vais retravailler tout cela et prendre tes conseils pour les garder jusqu'au jour J !
    Bonne après-midi et merci encore



    Réponse: Black population /America de pseudoinventif, postée le 01-05-2014 à 22:08:26 (S | E)





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