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    Oral/Spaces and Exchanges

    Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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    Oral/Spaces and Exchanges
    Message de jbc posté le 21-05-2014 à 21:27:20 (S | E | F)
    Bonsoir,
    je passe mon oral de langue bientôt, voici ma présentation sur la notion "Spaces and Exchanges"; pourriez-vous m'aider à corriger mes fautes s'il vous plaît?
    Merci pour vos réponses

    The notion i’m going to deal with is « Spaces and Exchanges »
    First at all, i would like to give a definition of this notion.
    This notion deals with the geographical and symbolic areas that all societies occupy and the interactions between men and different societies. Our world is built on the exploration and conquest of new spaces. The different cultural, economic, sociological and language interactions have shaped and characterized our modern-day world.
    Today, as markets are increasingly liberalized, we talk about the globalization of the markets, which can be defined as the worldwide movement toward economic, financial, trade and communication integration.
    However, in order to integrate a market in the globalization and to be competitive on a global scale, it has to be a highly developed market.
    So one would question:"What is the impact of globalization in the poorest country? and " What can we do to improve their situation?"
    To answer the question i have chosen two documents:
    first document which deals with the globalization
    And second document which deals with microcredit in India.

    first at all, as it is said in the document, the population of the poorest country isn't educated as well in developed country, and they don't dispose of the same infrastructures, such as pioneering technologies. that's why they may get even poorer.
    Second the delocalisation which cause many problems in developed country, doesn't bring much positives outcomes,
    the workers are very little paid, and the poorest country usually doesn't have strict environmental laws so the factories that the company had built aren't developed and very (contaminating, polluting).
    Finally the only way for the poorest country to avoid the total collapse of their economy, is to based their economy on the exploitation of natural resources.Yet, mines and forests aren't (endless, inexhaustible), and when their country's resources will be depleted, their economy will collapse.

    So what the developed country can do to prevent those country to fall in the blackest misery?
    Some will said that we should send more relief aid, but this won't help those population to develop their country, and in the worst case those population could become addicted to those foreign aid.
    The solution could be the apparition of microcredit. The micro credits are small loans which are give to poor entrepreneurs financially unable to secure traditional bank loans. And this concept have changed India’s economy. Indeed, between 2000 and 2010 the GDP of india was multiplied by three due in part of the development of micro credits.
    However, in 2010, a serie of suicide among borrowers defaulting on micro-loans questions this system. With high interest rates a lot of indian borrowers become overwhelmed by debts.

    Finally, the globalization increase the disparities between the developed countries and the poorest countries. And if we wanted to change that, we have to stimulating their economy instead of exploiting them. And for their part, The government of the poorest country have to watch over the debts collectors and prevent them from putting to pressure on the borrowers.

    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 21-05-2014 21:52


    Réponse: Oral/Spaces and Exchanges de jbc, postée le 21-05-2014 à 22:08:15 (S | E)
    Encore merci lucile83 d'avoir pris le temps de me lire.



    Réponse: Oral/Spaces and Exchanges de here4u, postée le 22-05-2014 à 13:37:04 (S | E)
    Hello jbc

    I'll give a hand ... but as your prep is veeeerrrrryyyy long ... I'll start and will go on when I have more time ...
    bleu = erreur
    vert = suggestions
    XXX= éléments manquants
    Juste un conseil ... Don't get used to writing 'I' with an i ... You have to put the capital letter ... I know that it won't be noticed in the oral exam you're getting ready for ... but it shouldn't be done in a written paper !!! Don't forget !

    The notion i’m going to deal with is « Spaces and Exchanges »
    First at all, i would like to give a definition of this notion.
    This notion deals with the geographic(al) and symbolic areas that all societies occupy and the interactions between men and different societies. Our world is built on the exploration and conquest of new spaces. The different cultural, economic, sociological and language interactions have shaped and characterized our modern-day world.
    Today, as markets are increasingly liberalized, we talk about the globalization of the markets, which can be defined as the worldwide movement toward economic, financial, trade and communication integration.
    However, in order to integrate a market in the globalization and to be competitive on a global scale, it has to be a highly developed market.
    So one would question:"What is the impact of globalization in the poorest country?(countries ? because of the 'their' which is following ...) and " What can we do to improve their situation?"
    To answer the question i have chosen two documents:
    first document which deals with (the) globalization
    And second document which deals with microcredit in India.

    first at all, as it is said in the document, the population of the poorest country(ies?) isn't educated as well as in developed country, and they don't dispose = faux ami ! of the same infrastructures, such as pioneering technologies. that's why they may get even poorer.
    Second the delocalisation which causeX many problems in developed country, doesn't bring much positives outcomes,
    the workers are very little (badly) paid, and the poorest country usually doesn't have strict environmental laws so the factories that the company had built aren't developed and are very (contaminating, polluting). (if you don't put the verb again, you write the opposite of what you mean ...)
    Finally the only way for the poorest country to avoid the total collapse of their economy, is to based their economy on the exploitation of natural resources.Yet, mines and forests aren't (endless, inexhaustible), and when their country's resources will beARGH .... depleted, their economy will collapse.

    Super début de prep ... C'est d'autant plus énervant quand on voit apparaître quelques 'lapses' élémentaires ...
    Je continue ...



    Réponse: Oral/Spaces and Exchanges de here4u, postée le 22-05-2014 à 13:56:49 (S | E)
    So what the developed country can do to prevent those country to fallXXX in the blackest misery?(darkest poverty?)
    Some will said that we should send more relief aid, but this won't help those population to develop their country, and in the worst case those population could become addicted (used to ? )to those foreign aid.
    The solution could be the apparition of microcredit. The micro credits are small loans which are giveX to poor entrepreneurs who are financially unable to secure traditional bank loans. And this concept have changed India’s economy. Indeed, between 2000 and 2010 the GDP(develop) of india was multiplied by three due in part of the development of micro credits.
    However, in 2010, a serieS of suicide among borrowers defaulting on micro-loans, questions this system. With high interest rates a lot of indian borrowers become overwhelmed by debts.

    Finally, the globalization increaseX the disparities between the developed countries and the poorest ones .(countries). And if we wanted to change that, we have to stimulating their economy instead of exploiting them. And for their part, The government of the poorest country have to watch over the debts collectors and prevent them from putting too much pressure on the borrowers.

    C'est très théorique ... Il faut, normalement s'appuyer sur un/des texte(s) ...avec des exemples précis servant d' illsutrations, utiliser des citations ... pour bien montrer aux examinateurs que les textes sont connus !
    Bon courage pour l'épreuve qui devrait bien se passer (en faisant attention aux petits dérapages possibles !!!)




    Réponse: Oral/Spaces and Exchanges de jbc, postée le 22-05-2014 à 18:45:43 (S | E)
    Merci beaucoup pour votre aide here4u, voici ce que j'obtiens à présent:

    The notion I’m going to deal with is « Spaces and Exchanges »
    First at all, i would like to give a definition of this notion.
    This notion deals with the geographic(al) and symbolic areas that all societies occupy and the interactions between men and different societies. Our world is built on the exploration and conquest of new spaces. The different cultural, economic, sociological and language interactions have shaped and characterized our modern-day world.
    Today, as markets are increasingly liberalized, we talk about the globalization of the markets, which can be defined as the worldwide movement toward economic, financial, trade and communication integration.
    However, in order to integrate a market in the globalization and to be competitive on a global scale, it has to be a highly developed market.
    So one would question:"What is the impact of globalization in the poorest countries?and " What can we do to improve their situation?"
    To answer the question i have chosen two documents:
    first document which deals with globalization
    And second document which deals with microcredit in India.

    first at all, as it is said in the document, the population of the poorest countries? isn't educated as well as in developed countries, and they don't have the same infrastructures, such as pioneering technologies. that's why they may get even poorer.
    Second the delocalization which causes many problems in developed countries, doesn't bring much positives outcomes,
    the workers are very little badly paid, and the poorest country usually doesn't have strict environmental laws so the factories that the company had built aren't developed and are very (contaminating, polluting).
    Finally the only way for the poorest country to avoid the total collapse of their economy, is to based their economy on the exploitation of natural resources.Yet, mines and forests aren't (endless, inexhaustible), and when their country's resources will be depleted, their economy will collapse.

    So what the developed countries can do to prevent those country to falling in the blackest darkest poverty?
    Some will said that we should send more relief aid, but this won't help those population to develop their countries, and in the worst case those population could become addict to those foreign aid.
    The solution could be the apparition of microcredit. The micro credits are small loans which are given to poor entrepreneurs who are financially unable to secure traditional bank loans. And this concept has changed India’s economy. Indeed, between 2000 and 2010 the GDP develop of india was multiplied by three due in part of the development of micro credits.
    However, in 2010, a series of suicide among borrowers defaulting on micro-loans, questions this system. With high interest rates a lot of indian borrowers become overwhelmed by debts.

    Finally,globalization increases the disparities between the developed countries and the poorest ones countries. If we wanted to change that, we have to stimulating their economy instead of exploiting them. For their part, The government of the poorest country have to watch over the debts collectors and prevent them from putting too much pressure on the borrowers.

    Encore pour votre aide.




    Réponse: Oral/Spaces and Exchanges de here4u, postée le 22-05-2014 à 20:28:31 (S | E)
    Hum hum ... on s'est mal compris ...
    Quand je suggère un mot entre parenthèses, c'est à la place deet pas pour garder les 2 !!!
    Quant au 2è paragraphe ...il n'a pas du tout été corrigé ...
    Comment on peut écrire un anglais aussi inégal ... est un peu un mystère pour moi ! Bonne correction ... courage !



    Réponse: Oral/Spaces and Exchanges de jbc, postée le 22-05-2014 à 21:58:06 (S | E)
    Je suis vraiment désolé pour la pauvreté de ma première correction, j'espère que celle-ci est bien mieux.

    The notion I’m going to deal with is « Spaces and Exchanges »
    First at all, i would like to give a definition of this notion.
    This notion deals with the geographic(al) and symbolic areas that all societies occupy and the interactions between men and different societies. Our world is built on the exploration and conquest of new spaces. The different cultural, economic, sociological and language interactions have shaped and characterized our modern-day world.
    Today, as markets are increasingly liberalized, we talk about the globalization of the markets, which can be defined as the worldwide movement toward economic, financial, trade and communication integration.
    However, in order to integrate a market in the globalization and to be competitive on a global scale, it has to be a highly developed market.
    So one would question:"What is the impact of globalization in the poorest countries?and " What can we do to improve their situation?"
    To answer the question i have chosen two documents:
    first document which deals with globalization
    And second document which deals with microcredit in India.

    first at all, as it is said in the document, the population of the poorest countries? isn't educated as well as in developed countries, and they don't have the same infrastructures, such as pioneering technologies. that's why they may get even poorer.
    Second the delocalization which causes many problems in developed countries, doesn't bring much positives outcomes,
    the workers are very badly paid, and the poorest countries usually don't have strict environmental laws so the factories that the company had built aren't developed and are very (contaminating, polluting).
    Finally the only way for the poorest countries to avoid the total collapse of their economy, is to based their economy on the exploitation of natural resources.Yet, mines and forests aren't (endless, inexhaustible), and when their country's resources will be depleted, their economy will collapse.

    So what the developed countries can do to prevent those countries from falling (in or into?) the darkest poverty?
    Some will say that we should send more relief aid, but this won't help those populations to develop their countries, and in the worst case those populations could become addict to those foreign aid.
    The solution could be the apparition of microcredit. The micro credits are small loans which are given to poor entrepreneurs who are financially unable to secure traditional bank loans. And this concept has changed India’s economy. Indeed, between 2000 and 2010 the develop of India was multiplied by three due in part to the development of micro credits.
    However, in 2010, a series of suicide among borrowers defaulting on micro-loans, questions this system. With high interest rates a lot of Indian borrowers became overwhelmed by debts.

    Finally,globalization increases the disparities between the developed countries and the poorest countries. If we want to change that, we have to stimulate their economies instead of exploiting them. For their part, The government of the poorest countries have to watch over the debt collectors and prevent them from putting too much pressure on the borrowers.



    Réponse: Oral/Spaces and Exchanges de here4u, postée le 23-05-2014 à 11:52:51 (S | E)
    Hello ! Promis, je regarde dès que j'ai un vrai moment ...



    Réponse: Oral/Spaces and Exchanges de here4u, postée le 23-05-2014 à 15:51:27 (S | E)
    Hello!

    'much?? outcomes,'(outcome=dénombrable pluriel!!!)(positives= adjectif !)

    'when their country's resources will be depleted, their economy will collapse.': que se passe t-il après les conjonctions de subordination temporelles ?

    'what the developed countries can do?'
    le ? fait de cette phrase une interrogative directe ; en est-ce vraiment une ?
    Problème d'ordre des mots !




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