Comme des milliers de personnes, recevez gratuitement chaque semaine Correction/Under control
Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En basCorrection/Under control
Message de karimelkha posté le 28-02-2015 à 20:37:20 (S | E | F)
Salut,
j'ai écrit un texte d'anglais pour l'école mais je ne suis pas sûr s'il est bien écrit, est-ce que vous pouvez le corriger?
Merci pour vos réponses.
Sequence "Under Control"
Everything was controlled by the Illuminati. Everywhere. In the New World Order the world destroyed by the 3rd World War has been rebuilt in a triangular design in order to make understand to the losers of the war who had the power. The old Europe had been turned into the center of the I.F.I. (International Federation of Illuminati) with the capital in the new “Illuminaris”. I’ve lived there. I was the son of the official baker of mr.Illuminati, the leader of the mouvement. It was founded by him. When I was little, after coming out from school I was always happy because I could see my father before he went to work. One day, 13 years ago after school I didn’t find him. Like him, also my brother and my mother disappeared. It’s normal here. People always disappear, maybe even in this second. After the death of my parents and brother I became the baker of mr.Illuminati thanks to a friend of my father, Mario, and life continued. If we can name it life. No, it wasn’t life. There were cameras everywhere, probably in the eye of the triangle. No one really knew. The walls, all made by the government probably had audio recorders in order to spy anyone in any moment. People disappeared because they gave out disagreement. In fact, walls had this particular ability, thanks to special sensor they could registrate people’s disagreement. The walls’ color was disturbing. It was a sort of dark-green.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 28-02-2015 20:39
Message de karimelkha posté le 28-02-2015 à 20:37:20 (S | E | F)
Salut,
j'ai écrit un texte d'anglais pour l'école mais je ne suis pas sûr s'il est bien écrit, est-ce que vous pouvez le corriger?
Merci pour vos réponses.
Sequence "Under Control"
Everything was controlled by the Illuminati. Everywhere. In the New World Order the world destroyed by the 3rd World War has been rebuilt in a triangular design in order to make understand to the losers of the war who had the power. The old Europe had been turned into the center of the I.F.I. (International Federation of Illuminati) with the capital in the new “Illuminaris”. I’ve lived there. I was the son of the official baker of mr.Illuminati, the leader of the mouvement. It was founded by him. When I was little, after coming out from school I was always happy because I could see my father before he went to work. One day, 13 years ago after school I didn’t find him. Like him, also my brother and my mother disappeared. It’s normal here. People always disappear, maybe even in this second. After the death of my parents and brother I became the baker of mr.Illuminati thanks to a friend of my father, Mario, and life continued. If we can name it life. No, it wasn’t life. There were cameras everywhere, probably in the eye of the triangle. No one really knew. The walls, all made by the government probably had audio recorders in order to spy anyone in any moment. People disappeared because they gave out disagreement. In fact, walls had this particular ability, thanks to special sensor they could registrate people’s disagreement. The walls’ color was disturbing. It was a sort of dark-green.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 28-02-2015 20:39
Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais
INDISPENSABLES : 