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    Bac/Spaces and exchanges

    Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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    Bac/Spaces and exchanges
    Message de nmartinod posté le 19-04-2015 à 15:40:42 (S | E | F)
    Bonjour,
    qq1 Quelqu'un pourrait-il me corriger cette synthèse de Bac svp s'il vous plait?
    Merci pour vos réponses.

    Since the 1960s, the United States has undergone a surge in immigration. Immigrants have to make sacrifices to fulfil a dream: leave their family and go to an unknown place. But nowadays places in the world are all connected: information, people, money circulate. All these interactions have transformed and characterized our world. Sometimes for the best, sometimes for the worse. In this case, we’ll talk about the immigration in the USA. And we can wonder if, Is the USA still a place for people yearning to breathe free? First of all we shall deal with what was the United States in his creation at the immigration issue, then we shall approach what the situation is become now and finally we will see the reality the immigrants of today have to face with

    First of all, since its origin the USA has always been a place of immigration, the main reason was the American dream, when people had hopes for what was a new and largely unexplored continent to European immigrants. People dreamt of owning land and establishing a prosperous business in hopes this would make them happy. They were also looking for a place of freedom, wealth, religious tolerance, without political oppression and economic hardship that was occurring in their native country. To my mind the document that seems to best illustrate this argument would be the sonnet “The New colossus” written by Emma Lazarus in 1883. The poem deals with the topic of immigration and how immigrants are yearning to breathe free and be welcomed by the statue of liberty in the United States of America. Through this sonnet, Emma Lazarus encouraged immigrants to come to the USA. Moreover the position of the statue is not at random, she is oriented to the East, that is to say toward the Europe. She is a welcoming signal to immigrants arriving from aboard

    Secondly, the US border is, nowadays, extremely watched over by the US government. As an illustration of these remarks I chose a radio program called “breaking the news” which teaches us about immigration in the USA, particularly on the US-Mexico border, one of the longest borders in the world. According to this audio document, the border is watched over mainly because of the illegal businesses that are thriving on the border like drug dealing, but it’s also due to the massive immigration from Mexico. Indeed more than half of the immigrants in the USA are Mexicans who are appealed by the job opportunities in the USA that does not exist in their native country. They are also attracted by the idea of the economy that is thriving. To summarise they are lured by the idea of the American dream. Accordingly they are ready to do whatever it will take to fulfill their dream, so they are willing to accept painful and menial jobs. And since most immigrants are unskilled they have no other choice that taking menial jobs. In order to illustrate my argument, I have chosen the cartoon drawn by Joe Heller that deals with the topic of immigrants who are working in low-paid thankless job like a cleaner or a gardener, the kind of jobs the Americans don’t want to

    But finally, this will to succeed of the immigrants led to a contradiction that the United States is facing with. The colored cartoon drawn by Nick Anderson in 2006 is a relevant illustration of this contradiction: on the one hand American people do not want any more Mexican immigrants, but one the other and American employers encourage them to keep coming into the country especially because they represent a cheap labor force. And even if immigrants take jobs that Americans are not willing to do, the jobs that are left are often low-paid because immigrants bring the salary down. In this cartoon, the authors criticize the American people’s thought on immigration. And unfortunately, immigrants are not aware that their situation in the hosting country can be as bad as in their native country .As soon as they succeed in crossing the border; they have nothing, no home, no job. They have to start all over again and this rudimentary situation can last for months, and even years. This is the other side of the coin; they lose all hope of the perfect life they had been dreaming

    To put it in a nutshell, at its origin the USA were a place for people yearning to breathe free, everyone were welcome whatever their origin or social background. Nowadays, even if the United States is still a place for people yearning to escape religious or political persecution, it is no longer as much a place to breathe free for immigrants who want to fulfil his American dream, they are no longer welcomed in the same way as before. Indeed American people do not want immigrants any more, while employers welcome them by offering them some low-paid thankless jobs that will not allow immigrants to fulfill their dream. Moreover they are not aware that their situation in the hosting country can be as bad as it wa

    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 19-04-2015 18:18


    Réponse: Bac/Spaces and exchanges de kouresh, postée le 23-04-2015 à 16:13:38 (S | E)
    Bonjour,
    Je me permets pas de te corriger, je ne pense pas être assez bon en anglais pour ça, toutefois il y a plusieurs passages que je n'ai pas trouvés très clairs.
    Par exemple, dans ton dernier paragraphe, "The USA were a place for people" c'est pas plutôt "was" ?
    De même, dans ta problématique, je sais pas si ça se dit " we may wonder if, is the USA still a place for people yearning to breathe free?" genre ça devrait être une subordonnée après la virgule , pas une nouvelle phrase, donc pas de virgule ni de majuscule au "If". En plus, si tu mets " we may wonder", pas de "?", c'est comme en français.
    Moi j'avais mis " we may wonder if the USA is still a place for people yearning to breathe free".
    Bonne chance pour la suite.

    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 23-04-2015 16:46



    Réponse: Bac/Spaces and exchanges de nmartinod, postée le 24-04-2015 à 09:23:22 (S | E)
    Bonjour,
    Ah oui effectivement, je n'avais pas vu ces petites erreurs !
    Merci beaucoup ^^




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