Correction/Justice

Correction/Justice
Message de kiwik posté le 12-01-2016 à 18:35:51 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
pourriez-vous corriger mon texte en anglais s'il vous plaît?
Merci d'avance.
Euro
Would you like justice to be like as it is in the movie, why ? What are the positive and negatives sides ?

Yes,I would like justice to be like in the movie, because, murders are very widespread in USA, because over there, the carrying of weapons is not forbidden. Infortunately, everyday there are manslaughters. We want everybody peace in USA and in the world too ! If there is this justice, there would be fewer human losses. We shall finish all our life without being killed by another person. I would like crossing a life without being afraid of the fact that it is going to arrive at us, we all would like this. That it have also fewer sad people too. If this justice is set up, the world would be " in peace ". But there are also the negative sides. Précogs could make a mistake and thus they will catch the bad criminal. It is also possible that a hacker can hack into the system, out of revenge or other ... That Précogs also predicted nothing more. This justice has positive and negative sides. But on one side I am shared. There are also other easier ways to decrease the murders in the United States. As to forbid the carrying of weapons. HERE IS my opinion.


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Modifié par lucile83 le 12-01-2016 21:23

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Réponse: Correction/Justice de here4u, postée le 12-01-2016 à 19:34:18 (S | E)
Hello !

Would you like justice to be like as it is in the movie, why ? What are the positive and negatives sides ?

Yes,I would like justice to be like in the movie, because, murders are very widespread in XXX USA, because over there, the carrying of weapons is not forbidden. Infortunately, everyday there are manslaughters. We want everybody peace in XXX USA and in the world too ! If there is this justice, there would (concordance des temps!)be fewer human losses. We shall finish all our life(word order, I suppose?) without being killed by another person. I would like crossing(construction derrière "would like") a life without being afraid of the fact that it is going to arrive at us, we all would like this. That it have also fewer sad people too. If this justice is set up, the world would be " in peace ". But there are also the negative sides. Précogs could make a mistake and thus they will catch the bad criminal. It is also possible that a hacker can hack (construction très très maladroite!)into the system, out of revenge or other ... That Précogs also predicted nothing more. This justice has positive and negative sides. But on one side I am shared(have mixed feelings). There are also other easier ways to decrease the number of murders in the United States. As to forbid the carrying of weapons. HERE IS my opinion.

blue = wrong; green = suggestion
underlined= very clumsy;XXX = missing elements

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Réponse: Correction/Justice de kiwik, postée le 12-01-2016 à 20:06:22 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
merci d'avoir corrigé mon texte. Would you like justice to be liked as it is in the movie , why ? What are the positive and negative sides ?

Yes, I would like justice to be like in the movie, because, murders are very widespread in the USA, because over there, the carrying of weapons is not forbidden. Unfortunately, everyday there are manslaugthers. We want all peace in the USA and in the world too ! If there is this justice, there have be fewer human losses. We shall finish all our life ( je vois pas l’erreur ) without being killed by another person. I would like cross a life without being afraid of the fact that it is going to arrive at us ( je vois pas l’erreur non plus ) , we all would like this. That he have also fewer sad people too. If this justice is set up, the world shall be « in peace « . But there are also the negative sides. Precogs could make a mistake and thus they will catch the bad criminal. A hacker can be hack into the system, out of revenge or other… That Precogs also predicted nothing more. This justice has positive and negative sides. But on one side I am have mixed feelings. There are also other easier ways to decrease the number of murders in the United States. As to forbid the carrying of weapons. To forbid for example the carrying of weapons ( je vois pas l’erreur ). HERE is my opinion.

Voilà, j'espère avoir bon..

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Réponse: Correction/Justice de laure95, postée le 13-01-2016 à 18:02:57 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
-We want all: ordre des mots.
- there have be: cette forme n'existe pas.Si tu mets le présent simple après "if", tu dois construire du futur avec WILL dans l'autre partie de la phrase.
- We shall finish all our life: déplacer ALL.
- I would like cross a life: verbe conjugué + TO + base verbale.
- it is going to arrive at us ( je vois pas l’erreur non plus ): TO ARRIVE = arriver dans un endroit.
- That he have also: ça ne veut rien dire.
- If this justice is set up, the world shall be « in peace « : même remarque que plus haut.
- A hacker can be hack: CAN BE + PARTICIPE PASSE.
- or other: what?
- I am have mixed feelings: choisir entre AM et HAVE.

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