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    Correction/little text

    Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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    Correction/little text
    Message de ziggy13 posté le 17-10-2016 à 21:53:07 (S | E | F)
    Hello !
    Could someone tell me if my little essay is right ? Toutes les corrections et les suggestions sont les bienvenues !
    Thanks for any reply !

    "Secondly, I would like to underscore several experiences I have in the associative sector. During one year, I have made a civic service in a district in Paris which have been for a long time described as a “difficult district” : the “Clozere” neighborhood. I worked in a Social center which has, as a primary role, to help the local initiatives and to endorse the local associations. In this institution, my activities were very numerous and very different. A very important experience for me was to make several projects both with actors of the associative sector and public institutions. During my civic service I also organized and participated in a lot of reunions ; an aspect of my work that I want to underscore given that a big part of the time of an “attaché territorial” is also used for this activity. After my civic service I became a volunteer in Australia for seven months via the network “Worldwide Opportunities on Organic Farms”. That is a period during which I gained a lot in terms of independence and maturity. A free computer course for old people that I organized and animated , for four months, gave me as well the opportunity to develop a capacity to explain clearly and with patience what I have to say. I hope that these few experiences - I have decided not to expose every one of them - show my big interest for the common good and why I would be a great “attaché territorial”."

    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 17-10-2016 21:58


    Réponse : Correction/little text de gerondif, postée le 19-10-2016 à 00:02:06 (S | E)
    Bonsoir,
    erreurs en bleu, conseils en vert

    "Secondly, I would like to underscore several experiences I have (plutôt un prétérit ou un present perfect) in the associative sector. During(voir en bas) one year, I have made (plutôt un prétérit) a civic service in a district in Paris which have(distrct est singulier) been for a long time described as a “difficult district” : the “Clozere” neighborhood. I worked in a Social center which has (plutôt un prétérit) , as a primary role, to help the local initiatives and to endorse the local associations. In this institution, my activities were very numerous and very different (plutôt varied). A very important experience (experiment ou experience ?) for me was to make several projects both with actors of (of ou from?) the associative sector and public institutions. During my civic service I also organized and participated in a lot of reunions ;(virgule) an aspect of my work that I want to underscore given that (as suffirait) a big part of the time of an “attaché territorial” is also used for this activity. After my civic service I became a volunteer in Australia for seven months via the network “Worldwide Opportunities on Organic Farms”. That is a period during which I gained a lot in terms of independence and maturity. A free computer course for old people that I organized and animated for four months, gave me as well the opportunity to develop a capacity to explain clearly and with patience what I have (un prétérit irait mieux) to say. I hope that these few experiences - I have decided not to expose every one of them - show my big interest for the common good and why I would be a great “attaché territorial”."

    les deux "pendant"
    I was ill for a week during the holidays: je fus malade pendant une semaine pendant les vacances.
    Pour les différencier, posez la question:
    When were you ill ? During the holidays, au cours des vacances, à l'occasion des vacances.
    How long were you ill , For a week, pendant une semaine (durée)




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