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    Correction/Indians

    Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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    Correction/Indians
    Message de lapetite posté le 03-02-2017 à 18:54:08 (S | E | F)
    Bonsoir,
    J'ai un texte à faire sur des documents que nous avons vus en classe. J'ai besoin d'aide pour le corriger s'il vous plait.
    Merci d'avance pour vos réponses !

    Indians were welcoming, helpful, friendly and peaceful with White men. They wished they could have peace and avoid bloodsheds and trouble. They agreed to never make war and accepted to give some of their lands. They thought whites would do the same. But gold was discovered and white men didn't respect their promises. Indians felt betrayed and mistaken.They had to fight to keep living in their territories. They were considered as «inferior».They were determined to remain free: they did'nt want to live in reservation.
    In the Summer 1876, Indians gathered alsong the Big Horn river to celebrate enjoy a massive Sun Dance. They were dancing, singing and hunting buffalos. The 25th June, the whites attacked the Indians's camp. The battle lasted 30 minutes. 150 Indians and 260 soldiers were killed. They have run away because they did'nt want to fight no more against the white men. Their living conditions were terrible: they did'nt have blankets and food. They were freezing to death.Sitting Bull and the Honkpapa fled to Canada. Over there, they received political asylum. In 1877, Crazy Horse surrendered at Fort Robinson where he was killed.

    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 03-02-2017 22:43


    Réponse : Correction/Indians de gerondif, postée le 03-02-2017 à 19:06:22 (S | E)
    Bonsoir,
    erreurs en bleu, corrections en vert.

    The Indians were welcoming, helpful, friendly and peaceful with White (pourquoi cette majuscule) men. They wished they could have peace and avoid bloodsheds(plus souvent au singulier) and trouble. They agreed to never(inverser) make war and accepted to give (away) some of their lands. They thought whites would do the same. But gold was discovered and white men didn't respect their promises. Indians felt betrayed and mistaken.They had to fight to keep living in their territories. They were considered as «inferior».They were determined to remain free: they did'nt (did not devient didn't) want to live in reservations.
    In the Summer of 1876, Indians gathered alsong (along ou alongside) the Big Horn river to celebrate enjoy (vous avez mis deux verbes, un peu comme les suggestions des traaducteurs automatiques) a massive Sun Dance. They were dancing, singing and hunting buffalos. The 25th June,(mauvaise présentation de la date: On dit par exemple! I was born on the twenty-fifth of June / on June 25th ) the whites attacked the Indians's(cas possessif pluriel à revoir) camp. The battle lasted 30 minutes. 150 Indians and 260 soldiers were killed. They have run (mettez un prétérit)away because they did'nt want to fight no (à changer, il y a déja un not dans didn't) more against the white men. Their living conditions were terrible: they did'nt have blankets and food (un ni...ni irait bien ici). They were freezing to death. Sitting Bull and the Honkpapa fled to Canada. Over there, they received political asylum. In 1877, Crazy Horse surrendered at Fort Robinson where he was killed.



    Réponse : Correction/Indians de lapetite, postée le 03-02-2017 à 20:07:29 (S | E)
    Merci beaucoup pour m'avoir répondu si rapidement !

    Indians were welcoming, helpful, friendly and peaceful with white men. They wished they could have peace and avoid bloodshed and trouble. They agreed never to make war and accepted to give away some of their lands. They thought whites would do the same. But gold was discovered and white men didn't respect their promises. Indians felt betrayed and mistaken.They had to fight to keep living in their territories. They were considered as «inferior».They were determined to remain free: they didn't want to live in reservations.
    In the Summer of 1876, Indians gathered along the Big Horn river to celebrate a massive Sun Dance. They were dancing, singing and hunting buffalos. On June 25th , the whites attacked the Indians' camp. The battle lasted 30 minutes. 150 Indians and 260 soldiers were killed. They ran away because they want to fight no more against the white men. Their living conditions were terrible: they didn't have neither blankets and nor food. They were freezing to death.Sitting Bull and the Honkpapa fled to Canada. Over there, they received political asylum. In 1877, Crazy Horse surrendered at Fort Robinson where he was killed.



    Réponse : Correction/Indians de gerondif, postée le 03-02-2017 à 20:46:20 (S | E)
    Bonsoir
    Je vois plus souvent "the white man " ou "white men" que whites.
    Indians were welcoming, helpful, friendly and peaceful with white men. They wished they could have peace and avoid bloodshed and trouble. They agreed never to make war and accepted to give away some of their lands. They thought whites would do the same. But gold was discovered and white men didn't respect their promises. Indians felt betrayed and mistaken.They had to fight to keep living in their territories. They were considered as «inferior».They were determined to remain free: they didn't want to live in reservations.
    In the Summer of 1876, Indians gathered along the Big Horn river to celebrate a massive Sun Dance. They were dancing, singing and hunting buffalos. On June 25th , the whites attacked the Indians' camp. The battle lasted 30 minutes. 150 Indians and 260 soldiers were killed. They ran away because they want to fight no more(le verbe serait mieux à la forme négative entransformant le no de no more) against the white men. Their living conditions were terrible: they didn't have(le verbe doit être à la forme affirmative) neither blankets and nor food. They were freezing to death.Sitting Bull and the Honkpapa fled to Canada. Over there, they received political asylum. In 1877, Crazy Horse surrendered at Fort Robinson where he was killed.



    Réponse : Correction/Indians de lapetite, postée le 03-02-2017 à 20:56:04 (S | E)
    Encore merci !!




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