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Message de winni92 posté le 23-04-2017 à 18:48:19 (S | E | F)
je passe très bientôt l'oral d'anglais , j'ai rédigé ma synthèse sur espaces et échanges et j'aimerais bien qu'on la corrige et qu'on me donne des avis ! J'ai aussi beaucoup de mal à formuler une conclusion donc de l'aide ne serait pas de refus !
I'm going to talk about the notion « Spaces and exchanges ». First let me give you a quick definition of the notion. An exchange is the act of giving and receiving something else in return. It can also be seen as a continuous movement or circulation. This year we studied the global exchanges. Nowadays, the different spaces of the world are more and more connected to each other so this type of interaction benefits the media , the government and especially world trade. Indeed , thanks to it big firms can practice outsourcing in other countries to make profits , to extend and to increase their consumers.That's why we can raise the following question : To what extent outsourcing does impact on trade exchanges ?
For a start , outsourcing is the process of hiring another company often cheaper to manage business activities for you. We watched in class a documentary about one of the biggest American group :Wal mart, a chain of supermarkets at low prices. At the beginning , they faced a major competition in the US market and were on the brink of bankruptcy. That's why they decided to relocate some production to China.It was useful for them on several levels. First it has allowed them to maximize their profits, play a key role in the US economy and expand all over the country.Goods arrive faster and in large quantities so their customers buy more for less. Their shareholders invest more money and get a return on their investement. Also, Outsourcing improves relations between the two countries because it industrializes China by creating jobs and It enables Chinese worker to earn a regular wage to support their family.
Although outsourcing may have a good impact on the economy of both countries, he can badly impact on life employees and the qualitiy of goods
In fact for American employees outsourcing results in job losses. Their standard of living collapses. Add to that it may cause the creation of sweatshops in the less developped countries. Indeed we studied a press article about the working conditions in the Chineese factories. I retain the testimony of a Chineese girl who worked for a famous American brand of shoe. She said that most of the time employees were exploited for their manpower cheaper. They didn't see their family, worked 6 days a week and earned a pittence.Every day a foreman yellt at them to maximize the production, if they rebeled they was fired and immediately replaced. Futhermore the factory forced employees to pay a rent for live in dilapidated dorms which so that they could work extra hours.
Lastly, The goods manufactured in this type of factory affects their quality, some products contain toxic substances and are sold on the market.
To conclude, on the one hand outsourcing does impact on trade exchanges by Contributing to economic development in different countries.;.
Modifié par lucile83 le 23-04-2017 21:39
A vous de rédiger votre conclusion.
Réponse : Oral/espaces et échanges de kazwell, postée le 23-04-2017 à 19:29:23 (S | E)
All in all , your oral preparation looks quite promising , but there is still few mistakes here and there :
...one of the biggest American group : try to find a more specific term to describe Walmart.
a chain of supermarkets at low price : Are you trying to say that their products are cheap? if so then bad wording.
they faced a major competition in the US market : not really a mistake , just the a seems quite redundant here.
some of their production to China : better way to phrase it , because i think some production is not correct ? wait for confirmation from someone with a higher understanding of english.
buy more for less : Again , I'm not quite sure but I think you should specify less what? Because while the meaning is conveyed, the phrasing may not be correct.
he can badly impact on life employees and the qualitiy of goods :
-he/she is reserved for humans.
-The...of.... can be written as ....'s ..... Ex=I like the car of my friend is not good , you have to say I like my friend's car.
Their standard of living collapses , in this case you use , for Ex = He is near the gates of school this He is near the school gates.
the creation of sweatshops: grammaticaly correct , just thought this can use better wording , like changing the word "create" for something more specific.
Chineese : I guesse it's just a typo?
brand of shoe : same remark as above (the school example)
manpower cheaper --> cheaper manpower
yellt : the verb yell is regular , so conjugate this the standard way.
they was fired , this is plural , not singular.
a rent for live , wrong preposition.
Pour ta conclusion je ne veux pas te dire de bêtises mais essaye déjà de bien résumer les propos de ton oral d'abord , pour la suite , faudra appeler les expert
Modifié par lucile83 le 23-04-2017 21:40
Réponse : Oral/espaces et échanges de winni92, postée le 23-04-2017 à 22:51:05 (S | E)
Merci pour votre réponse
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