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    Bac/Idea of progress

    Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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    Bac/Idea of progress
    Message de latinne posté le 04-05-2017 à 14:43:09 (S | E | F)
    Bonjour,
    j'ai besoin d'aide s'il vous plait pour mon oral de Bac; je sais que je peux tenir plus de 5 minutes avec ça mais je ne sais pas si c'est complet. Pourriez-vous m'aider en le corrigeant et en me donnant des conseils ?
    Merci pour vos réponses.

    INTRODUCTION
    The notion I'm going to deal with is the Idea of Progress, studied this year in class, under the perspective of the Information and Communication Technologies.
    The notion of progress is the idea that the world can be better in terms of science, technology and quality of life. Progress implies inevitably changes : in our way of life and our vision of the world for example.
    We studied progress in the social field, with the adictions that new technologies can cause but also in way in which they change our everyday behaviours.
    We may wonder if new technologies are always synonymous with progress ? And How do new technologies change our every day lives ?
    To get an answer, first of all, I will analyse the side effects of new technologies, who can be dangerous by isolation or addiction. Before finally focusing on the way to fight against those negatives aspects.

    FIRST PART
    To illustrate the fact that new technologies are not always good for humans, I chose three documents who underlines the isolation and addiction that follow the progress of New Technologies.
    In the first place we see a caricature who show in a funny way, that the world gone topsy-turvy, in wich it is the children who are teaching New Technologies to grown-ups.
    The main message conveyed is that old people would turn out isolated from society if they don't learn about New Technologies.
    My own grandmother is a little overtaken by the computers and I understand that It can be confusing to use laptop and Internet Service Provider when she lived 70 (seventy) years without.
    If the elderly don't understand technologies, it is the youger who are the more touched by addiction. The second document talk about the screenagers (this term designate the teenagers who spend to much time on computer. It a a newspaper article by Anmar Frangul and published on the Sunday Times in April 2010.
    The reporter talks about Andrew, who become completely addict at computers. He stay shut in his house and as a consequence he had dangerously put on weight. At the beginning, he was nevertheless very clever and popular. But a broadband connection completely change him.

    SECOND PART
    To fight against the cons of the progress, drawners can warns us of the danger of technology with humor.
    Like Winick, with this caricature taken from a website.
    We see two people, who are dishonest with each other. They say that they are model, and chippendale while the woman is wrinkled with ridiculous slippers with pink heads of rabbits and the man had a too small tee-shirt for him and he is surrounded by waste.
    To me, this caricature describes our times, people become dependant on their computer and want to have a perfect life, but how they can do that by lying on internet ? This humoristic draw has the goal to make people realize/think about it (I think).
    On the other hand, the second document is an article from the Newspaper The Sunday Times, issued in July 2006 (twenty-six).
    He learns us that a clinic located in Amsterdam is the first to offer a treatment for computer game addicts. The clinic welcomes teenagers from America and Asia who are the areas the most touched by this problem. To take the patient's minds off computers, they make fitness training, parachuting trip and the teenagers can follow a therapy where they talk about their problems to other addicts and a theraper.

    CONCLUSION
    I'd like to end by saying that New Technologies enables us to be connected with the entire world. All the same, the elderly can be touched by exclusion if they don't learn about New Technologie because now, we do everything on internet, even tax returns (déclaration d'impôt). And people can suffers of addiction, specifically the youngest who was born in a connected generation.
    For me, nothing will change unless people will wake up about their responsability of the health of their children by giving him computer or video games at a too young age.
    And that would be all I have to say about this notion.

    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 04-05-2017 14:46



    Réponse : Bac/Idea of progress de laure95, postée le 05-05-2017 à 11:56:03 (S | E)
    Bonjour,
    INTRODUCTION
    - the adictions: orthographe.
    - but also in way: ?
    We may wonder if new technologies are always synonymous with progress ? (enlever ?)
    - the side effects of new technologies, who (pas le bon relatif)can be dangerous

    FIRST PART
    - I chose three documents who (pas le bon relatif) underlines (faute de conjugaison)
    - In the first place we see (passé)a caricature who (pas le bon relatif) show (faute de conjugaison) in a funny way,
    - in wich it is (enlever it is)the children who (enlever who)are teaching New Technologies to grown-ups.
    - The main message conveyed is that old people would (futur) turn out isolated from society if they don't learn
    - My own grandmother is a little overtaken by the (pas de the) computers
    - when she (has)lived 70 (seventy) years without.
    - it is t(enlever it is)he youger who (enlever who)are the more touched by addiction.
    - The second document talk (un document ne parle pas, mais traite d'un sujet) about the screenagers (this term designate (faute de conjugaison) the teenagers who spend to (pas la bonne orthographe)much time on computer.
    - It a a newspaper article by Anmar Frangul and published on (pas la bonne préposition)the Sunday Times in April 2010.
    - The reporter talks about Andrew, who (has)become completely addict(ed) at (pas la bonne préposition)computers.
    - He stay (faute de conjugaison) shut in his house and as a consequence he had (présent)dangerously put on weight.
    - But a broadband connection completely change (present perfect)him.

    SECOND PART
    To fight against the cons of the (pas de the) progress, drawners can warns (can + infinitif)us
    - We (can)see two people
    - They say that they are model(s), and chippendale(s)
    - and the man had (présent)a too small tee-shirt
    - To me, this caricature describes our times (pas de s)
    - This humoristic draw(ing) has the goal
    - he learns us : to learn = apprendre pas enseigner.
    -the areas the most touched: ordre des mots.

    CONCLUSION
    New Technologies enables (faute de conjugaison) us
    - And people can suffers (can + infinitif)of (pas la bonne préposition)addiction, specifically the youngest who was (pluriel) born in a connected generation.
    - their responsability of (pas la bonne préposition) the health of their children by giving him (pluriel)computer(s)




    Réponse : Bac/Idea of progress de latinne, postée le 07-05-2017 à 13:21:05 (S | E)
    Merci beaucoup pour tes conseils :D




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