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    Spaces and exchanges/Bac

    Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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    Spaces and exchanges/Bac
    Message de filouil posté le 26-05-2017 à 18:57:05 (S | E | F)
    Bonjour !
    J'aimerais votre avis éclairé sur mon oral d'anglais, voici le texte,
    merci à vous de votre lecture.

    I’m going to talk about spaces and exchanges. First of all, I’d like to give a definition of this notion.

    This notion deals with the geographical and symbolic areas that all societies occupy and the interactions between men and different societies. Our world is built on the exploration and conquest of new spaces. The different cultural, economic, sociological and language interactions have shaped and characterised our modern-day world.

    For this notion, we will focus on the gap year wich is a period of time taken by a student to travel or work, often after high school or before starting graduate school, as a break from formal education.
    In order to illustrate this notion I will try to answer the question: To what extent the gap year is beneficial for the students? First of all, we will see that the gap year is beneficial for the personal fulfillment. Secondly, we will see that it doesn't represent that advantages.

    Thus, the gap year presents significant advantages for the students not knowing what they want to do later. In fact, it allows to become citizen of the world thanks to a better understanding of the world, cultures and the languages but also it provides new skills. The acquisition of these knowledges allows students having made a gap year win in maturity and gain more confidence in them. It allows to find the vocational guidance or to consolidate its choice and to fill in the blanks of its CV. Once of return, they are usually more employable and satisfied with their working lives.

    However, the gap year doesn't represent that advantages and could be quite unpleasant for some students. In fact, according to the document seen in class: "The big issue" from Kim bielenberg, the work can be repetitive, boring or without interest. And to find a good work without specific skills is difficult. Some students might not be able to cope with emotional strain of voluntary work. The students not previously employed and volunteering, the financing is generally difficult with plane tickets, accommodation etc....

    Not to mention the distance between his family and self wich can be complicated for some people.
    In conclusion, we can ask the following question : Does the gap year is available only to the wealthy? Given its high financing, the gap year is not possible for the entire population.

    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 26-05-2017 19:01


    Réponse : Spaces and exchanges/Bac de gerold, postée le 28-05-2017 à 17:24:39 (S | E)
    Bonjour filouil,

    I'm going to talk about spaces and exchanges. First of all, I'd like to give a definition of this notion.
    This notion deals with the geographical and symbolic areas that all societies occupy and the interactions between men and different societies. Our world is built on the exploration and conquest of new spaces. The different cultural, economic, sociological and language (plutôt un adjectif)interactions have shaped and characterised our modern-day world.

    For this notion, we will focus on the gap year wich (orthographe) is a period of time taken by a student to travel or work, often after high school or before starting graduate school, as a break from formal education.
    In order to illustrate this notion I will try to answer the question: To what extent the gap year is (ordre des mots, c`est une question) beneficial for the students? First of all, we will see that the gap year is beneficial for the personal fulfillment. Secondly, we will see that it doesn't represent that (accord) advantages (pas clair, que voulez-vous dire?).

    Thus, the gap year presents significant advantages for the students not knowing (mieux: relative avec "who") what they want to do later. In fact, it allows to become (article) citizen of the world thanks to a better understanding of the world, cultures and the languages but also it provides new skills. The acquisition of these knowledges allows students having made a gap year (il manque quelque chose) win in maturity and gain more confidence in them (en eux-mêmes). It allows (ajoutez un pronom personnel) to find the vocational guidance or to consolidate its choice and to fill in the blanks of its (pas "its" car on parle de personnes)( CV. Once of return (une fois de retour ... la traduction littérale ne fonctionne pas), they are usually more employable and satisfied with their working lives.

    However, the gap year doesn't represent that advantages (mêmes remarques qu`au deuxième paragraphe) and could be quite unpleasant for some students. In fact, according to the document seen in class: "The big issue" from Kim Bielenberg, the work can be repetitive, boring or without interest. And to find a good work (autre mot) without specific skills is difficult. Some students might not be able to cope with emotional strain of voluntary work. (Il doit manquer quelque chose au début) The students not previously employed and volunteering, the financing is generally difficult with (autre préposition et changez l`ordre des mots) plane tickets, accommodation etc....

    Not to mention the distance between his (pas "his") family and self (ajoutez quelque chose à "self") wich (orthographe) can be complicated (vous ne pouvez pas dire qu`une distance est compliquée) for some people.
    In conclusion, we can ask the following question : Does the gap year is available only to the wealthy? Given its high financing (autre mot: coût), the gap year is not possible for the entire population (employez un pronom signifiant "tout le monde" et essayez de dire la même chose de manière plus "anglaise".

    Repostez le texte quand vous l`aurez corrigé s`il vous plaît.



    Réponse : Spaces and exchanges/Bac de dsmith, postée le 29-05-2017 à 05:59:43 (S | E)
    Bonjour filouil,
    Très bien fait. Gerald a donné des bonnes suggestions.
    j'ajoute une autre:
    Does the gap year is available only to the wealthy? - pas correcte
    Cette phrase doit commencer avec "Is" - ne pas utiliser "Does" avec is available.
    Douglas




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