Scénario /Ellis Island

Scénario /Ellis Island
Message de charlottecrop posté le 08-02-2015 à 12:33:35 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
J'ai un scénario à faire avec mes amies sur Ellis Island et la Statue de la Liberté! Il y a trois guides et deux visiteurs! Je pense qu'il y a beaucoup de fautes donc pourrais-je avoir une correction s'il vous plait?.. Merci beaucoup d'avance!!

-Welcome in Ellis Island !
-Nice to meet you, we are your guides for all the afternoon. My name is Alice and I’m Aude.
-I don’t know if you know it but Ellis Island is a symbol of America.
-Ok, nice to meet you! Personally, my grand mother went to Ellis Island in 1930 and she told me a lot of stories about her trip and I’m very curious to learn more about that !
-I’m an exchange student, and I want to visit this emblematics places, so it’s why, I’m here !
-So, first, we are going to start about the discovery of Ellis Island! Come on !
-So here, we are in front of the museum entrance. This is here where all is began, in 1892 January. In fact, after their hard long trip in a ship. Ellis Island was the first stape for immigrants’s new life in America.
-Why did they go through Ellis Island ?
-I think it’s because they select new arrivals.
-Yes, in a way but there was also medical exams and legal inspection for travelers.
-And then, what happened ?
-they came to the USA or they come back in their original country. Indeed, only a small numer of detened immigrants passed through Ellis Island.
-Where were they from ?
-People’s origins were Germany, British, Irish, Italians, Chinese and South of Europe. They left their country to escape from instable homelands, famine or economical opportunities.
-Indeed, they wanted to have a better life. They was attracted by the “American way of life”
-What are many obstacles, which they are met?
-The obstacles are different, there was contagious diseases, discrimination and their goal is to enter in America for have a new better life.
-Just a few words to thank you. In fact, be here it’s a good thing for the remembrance duty.
-It was the occasion to remember the hardship trip endure by the immigrants. So thank you for that. Nextly, we can do the Statue of liberty visit, are you ok ? You will visit this place with a new guide. Bye! See you later!
-Yeah of course !
-Hello girls! I’m Carolane, I’m your new guide!
-Hello!
-We are in front of the Statue of Liberty. This Statue was designed by Gustave Eiffel in 1879 in France.
-How she arrived in New-York ?
-Statue is dismantled and shipped by French and has been assembled in New-York on 1886.
-And why she was given to USA.
-The Statue of Liberty was a gift of friendship from the people of France to the USA and she is reconized as a universal symbol of freedom and democraty. Now, the statue of liberty is the tallest statue in the world. Indeed she’s considered like enormous statue.
-And, was she aimed on September 11th by the terrorist ?
-No but she was closed for security! Have you got any others questions?
-No, but can we visit this emblematic place?
-Yes of course! I come with you for take photos and discover the landscape!
-What did you think about the visit ?
-I preferred Ellis Island because it was really touching, it’s an important part of the America story, and it’s very interessant to know the history. It’s a place that has upset the lives of millions of people’s.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 08-02-2015 14:54

---

Réponse: Scénario /Ellis Island de mariehiv, postée le 09-02-2015 à 11:21:27 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Voici la correction que je propose :

-Welcome in Ellis Island !
-Nice to meet you, we are your guides for all the afternoon. My name is Alice and I’m Aude.
-I don’t know if you know it but Ellis Island is a symbol of America.
-Ok, nice to meet you! Personally, my grand mother went to Ellis Island in 1930 and she told me a lot of stories about her trip and I’m very curious to learn more about that !
-I’m an exchange student, and I want to visit this emblematics places, so it’s why, I’m here !
-So, first, we are going to start about with the discovery of Ellis Island! Come on !
-So here, we are in front of the museum entrance. This is here where all is has began, in 1892 January January 1892. In fact, after their hard long trip in a ship. Ellis Island was the first stape step for of the immigrants’s new life lives in America.
-Why did they go through Ellis Island ?
-I think it’s because they select new arrivals.
-Yes, in a way but there was also medical exams and legal inspection for travelers.
-And then, what happened ?
-they came to the USA or they come went back in to their original country. Indeed, only a small number of detened detained immigrants passed through Ellis Island.
-Where were they from ?
-People’s origins they were Germany, British, Irish, Italians, Chinese and or coming from the South of Europe. They left their country to escape from instable homelands, famine or for economical opportunities.
-Indeed, they wanted to have a better life. They was were attracted by the “American way of life”
-What are many obstacles, which they are have met?
-The obstacles are different varied, there was contagious diseases, discrimination and their goal is was to enter in America for to have a new better life.
-Just a few words to thank you. In fact, be here it’s a good thing to be here for the remembrance duty.
-It was the occasion to remember the hardship trip endured by the immigrants durng the trip. So thank you for that. Nextly Now, we can do visit the Statue of liberty visit, are you ok would you be okay with that ? You will visit this place with a new guide. Bye! See you later!
-Yeah of course !
-Bye then, See you later!
-Hello girls! I’m Carolane, I’m your new guide!
-Hello!
-We are in front of the Statue of Liberty. This Statue was designed by- Auguste Bartholdy with the help of - Gustave Eiffel in 1879 in France.
-How she did it arrived in New-York ? (he/she -> people / it -> objects)
-The Statue is was dismantled and shipped by the French and has been assembled back in New-York on 1886.
-And why she was it given to USA. (dans une question on inverse toujours verbe et sujet)
-The Statue of Liberty was a gift of friendship from the people of France to the USA and she it is reconized as a universal symbol of freedom and democraty. Now, the statue of liberty is the tallest statue in the world. Indeed she’s considered like enormous statue.
-And, was she it aimed on September 11th by the terrorist ?
-No but she it was closed for security! Have you got any others questions? (any demande un singulier // ''aucune'' en francais)
-No, but can we visit this emblematic place?
-Yes of course! I'll come with you for to take photos and discover the landscape!
-What did you think about the visit ?
-I preferred Ellis Island because it was really touching, it’s an important part of the American storyhistory, and it’s very interessant interesting to know the history get to know it. It’s a place that has upset the lives of millions of people’s.


Bon,il y a quand même beaucoup de fautes qui auraient pu être évitées avec un peu plus d'attention.
Notamment la distinction he,she/it ou la concordance des temps. Passé ou présent, il faut faire un choix.
J’espère avoir pu aider,
Bonne journée !

---

[POSTER UNE NOUVELLE REPONSE] [Suivre ce sujet]

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais