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    Correction/virus

    Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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    Correction/virus
    Message de sisousou posté le 20-07-2018 à 13:35:53 (S | E | F)
    Bonjour à tous,
    je suis en classe préparatoire, et afin de m’entrainer durant cet été, je réponds à des questions liées à l’actualité. J’aurais besoin de votre aide afin de corriger ce texte, s’il vous plait.
    Merci d’avance. 🙏

    Why is it difficult to stop the spread of AIDS?
    The AIDS is an epidemic caused by the HIV virus. It can be transmitted through a direct contact with mucous membranes infected by the HIV virus such as blood, vaginal fluid or breast milk. International institutions such as the World Health Organization carries out various AIDS-related campaigns and coordinates international efforts in order to check the epidemic.
    However, the serious disease still present and killed thousands worldwide people.
    So, we will explain the two critical issues posed by the AIDS.
    The first problem is geographical. Indeed, the epidemic afflicts seriously sub-saharian Africa, this is the hardest-hit area. The area is one of the most destitute and poor part of the world. So, it is hard to assess the scope of the epidemic and to screen the sub-saharian population for AIDS. Moreover, we observed an extreme shortage of medical care in this region.
    The second problem is about the treatment of AIDS. Indeed, it is really expensive to cure from the disease. Scientisist and pharmaceutical laboratories still research a remedy or a vaccine to combat AIDS. That’s why the WHO focused its efforts on prevention by promoting safe sex and HIV screening test.
    To conclude, the extend of AIDS is mainly caused by its localisation and treatment.
    We hope that the epidemic will be eliminated by human effort such as smallpox in the 80s.

    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 20-07-2018 14:46


    Réponse : Correction/virus de nehel, postée le 20-07-2018 à 16:44:32 (S | E)
    Bonjour. Première ébauche de correction, attendre toutefois l'avis de personnes plus qualifiées que moi dans la langue.

    Why is it difficult to stop the spread of AIDS?
    The AIDS is an epidemic caused by the HIV virus. It can be transmitted through a direct contact with mucous membranes infected by the HIV virus such as blood, vaginal fluid or breast milk. International institutions such as the World Health Organization carries out (accord) various AIDS-related campaigns and coordinates (accord) international efforts in order to check the epidemic.
    However, the serious disease Ø (verbe ?) still present and killed (temps) thousands worldwide (place adv.) people worldwide.
    So, we will explain the two critical issues posed by the AIDS.
    The first problem is geographical. Indeed, the epidemic afflicts seriously sub-saharian Africa (orth.), this/which is the hardest-hit area. The area is (in ?) one of the most destitute and poor part of the world. So, it is hard to assess the scope of the epidemic and to screen the sub-saharian (orth.) population for (prép.) AIDS. Moreover, we observed an extreme shortage of medical care in this region.
    The second problem is about the treatment of/for AIDS. Indeed, it is really expensive to cure from (prép.) the disease. Scientisist and pharmaceutical laboratories still research/are still researching a remedy or a vaccine to combat AIDS. That’s why the WHO focused its efforts on prevention by promoting safe sex and HIV screening test.
    To conclude, the extent of AIDS is mainly caused by both its localisation and treatment.
    We hope that the epidemic will be eliminated by human effort (pluriel) such as smallpox in the 80's.



    Réponse : Correction/virus de gerold, postée le 20-07-2018 à 19:00:13 (S | E)
    Bonsoir sisousou

    Quelques remarques en plus de celles de nehel:

    ...
    The enlevez l'article AIDS is an epidemic caused by the HIV virus. It can be transmitted through a direct contact with mucous membranes infected by the HIV virus such as blood, vaginal fluid or breast milk il manque quelque chose dans cette phrase, le sang n'est pas une membrane muqueuse il me semble. International institutions such as the World Health Organization carries out (accord) various AIDS-related campaigns and coordinates (accord) international efforts in order to check the epidemic.
    However, the serious disease Ø (verbe ?) still present and killed (temps) thousands worldwide (place adv.) of people worldwide.
    ...
    The first problem is geographical. Indeed, the epidemic afflicts seriously placez seriously avant le verbe (un verbe ne doit pas être séparé de son COD par un adverbe) sub-saharian Africa (orth.), this/which is the hardest-hit area. The area is (in ?) one of the most destitute and poor poor est un adjectif court: poorest and most destitute part of the world. So, it is hard to assess the scope of the epidemic and to screen the sub-saharian (orth.) population for (prép.) AIDS. ..
    The second problem is about the treatment of/for AIDS. Indeed, it is really expensive to cure from (prép.) the disease. Scientisist revoir ce mot and pharmaceutical laboratories still research/are still researching a remedy or a vaccine to combat AIDS. That’s why the WHO focused its efforts on prevention by promoting safe sex and HIV screening test.
    To conclude, the extent of AIDS is mainly caused by both its localisation plutôt "location" dans ce contexteand treatment.
    We hope that the epidemic will be eliminated by human effort such as smallpox in the 80's on a l'impression que la variole est un exemple d'effort humain ....




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