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    Myth hero/American dream

    Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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    Myth hero/American dream
    Message de mariechvlr posté le 18-04-2019 à 15:31:55 (S | E | F)
    Bonjour,
    je passe mon oral d'ici quelques jours et j'ai rédigé mon texte sur la notion de mythes et héros; pour illustrer ce sujet j'ai choisi de parler du rêve américain
    Pouvez-vous me corriger, m'apporter de nouvelles idées, me dire ce qui ne vas pas, exemples et ouverture pour ma conclusion qui je pense est trop brève ...; merci d'avance pour votre aide.

    I’m going to talk about the notion of Myths and Heroes.
    A myth is a popular story that evolved in time. A hero is somebody we admired for what he did. He can be superhero like Batman, Superman, a war hero or an everyday hero like firefighters.
    The topic of my presentation will be the American Dream. We can ask ourselves “Is the American dream a myth or a reality.”
    Firstly, I would like to give a definition of the American Dream. American Dream is characterized by the idea of lets people think that anybody living in America, thanks to courage, work and determination can succeed. America is presented as a land of freedom, peace and where we can start wit nothing and make fortunes. So people came to America to begin a new and better life.
    In a first time, we are going to speak about Jam Koum and the reality of the American dream, and in second time we are going to speak about the myth of the American dream with two documents.

    Firstly, I will speak about Jam Koum. He is a Ukrainian immigrant who create Whatsapps., He arrived to the USA at the age of 16, he learns the computing alone and he works for Yahoo. In 2009, he create Whatsapps, a free messenger application for phone. His application has a great success and Marc Zuckenberg buys his application for 19 billions of dollars so Jan Koum becomes a billionaire. He is an example of the American Dream.

    Doc Ellis Island
    The first document is an extract of “godfather Ellis Island”.The scene takes place in nineteenth century in Ellis Island. Ellis Island was the passage to enter in America. People arrived in America in a boat. At first people are smiling, there are happy to arrive. They dream of their new life in America. We can see many family, people speaking different languages! There are coming from Europe. After people are waiting long time to be registered. The last scene shows a little boy in a little dark room who was registered. So at the end, we can see the reality of the American Dream. We see the poor conditions to travel, the bad welcome. There are a contrast between the first scene and the last. The author’s goal is to show the opposition between the American Dream and the reality.
    Text Stefan Blau
    The second document is a text of Ursula Hegi. It was in nineteenth century. A little boy, Stefan Blau, is believing to go in America. He’s living in Germany with his parents. He’s trying to convince them to go in America, but they refuse. He’s thinking that America related with fortunes, inventions, gold, skyscrapers… So he is going in America without his parents. In Manhattan he’s working in Restaurant: he peeled vegetables. His vision of America based on illusion. He’s far away from the good aspect he thinking. He discovered the reality when he arrived in America.
    On the one hand This is a success story for Stefan Blau because he realized his dream. He went in America. On the other hand can we say that is a success story? He peeled vegetables, he’s far away from the good aspect he thinking.

    To conclude, American Dream stay a reality for some people but gradually because of the evolution of the country. Today, Crisis economic and unemployment affect America. Moreover There are still inequalities in class, race, religion, actually all American are not rich. It’s more difficult for the lower class to climbing the ladder.

    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 18-04-2019 19:18


    Réponse : Myth hero/American dream de laure95, postée le 19-04-2019 à 10:02:16 (S | E)
    Bonjour,
    - He can be (article)superhero like Batman, Superman
    - We can ask ourselves “Is the American dream a myth or a reality.”: ordre des mots (question indirecte)

    - (the)American Dream is characterized
    - by the idea of lets (gérondif)people think
    - wit
    - make fortunes: make a fortune.

    Introduction un peu longue. Définir the American Dream dans la première partie.

    He is a Ukrainian immigrant who create (passé) Whatsapps.,
    - he learns (passé)the (pas de the) computing alone and he works (il travaille toujours pour Yahoo?)for Yahoo.
    - In 2009, he create (passé) Whatsapps
    - His application has (passé)a great success and Marc Zuckenberg buys (passé)his application for 19 billions of dollars so Jan Koum becomes (present perfect) a billionaire. He is an example of the American Dream.
    Définir ici the American Dream.

    Doc Ellis Island
    - The scene takes place in (article)nineteenth century in Ellis Island.
    - People arrived in America in (pas la bonne préposition) a boat.
    - there are happy to arrive: there are = il y a
    - We can see many family: many + pluriel.
    - There are coming from Europe.
    - After people are waiting (préposition)long time to be registered.
    - We (can)see the poor conditions
    - There are a contrast: there are + pluriel.
    - between the first scene and the last. (one)

    Text Stefan Blau
    The second document is a text of (pas la bonne préposition)Ursula Hegi.
    - It was in (during pas in + il manque un article)nineteenth century.
    - A little boy, Stefan Blau, is believing (présent simple)to go in (pas la bonne préposition)America.
    - He’s living (présent simple)in Germany with his parents.
    - He’s thinking that America (is)related with fortunes (singulier), inventions, gold, skyscrapers…
    - In Manhattan he’s working (présent simple) in Restaurant: he peeled (présent simple) vegetables.
    - His vision of America (is) based on illusion.
    - he thinking: temps?
    - He went in (pas la bonne préposition) America.
    - can we say that (sujet)is a success story? He peeled vegetables, he’s far away from the good aspect he thinking: déjà dit.

    - To conclude, (article)American Dream stay (pas le bon mot ici + faute de conjugaison)a reality for some people
    - Crisis economic: ordre des mots.
    - to climbing the ladder: to + infinitif.

    Ouverture possible: sur la notion Formes et lieux de pouvoir.




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