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    Notion/Idea of progress

    Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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    Notion/Idea of progress
    Message de comsteva posté le 25-04-2019 à 10:19:57 (S | E | F)
    Bonjour,
    je suis en Terminale ES et je passe bientôt mon oral de langue (j'ai pris anglais LV2) et je souhaite savoir si ma synthèse est correcte et si elle répond aux attentes des professeurs car je n'ai pas réellement compris la méthodologie.
    Merci d'avance.

    The notion I'm going to deal with is the idea of progress. To begin with, I’d like to give a definition of Progress.
    The idea of progress can be defined as an improvement, a development or a change: a technical, scientific or social advance which contributes to improve the world and the well-being of people. However, some progress is now being called into question for various reasons.
    How does modern technology affect today’s society ?
    To introduce this topic, I will firstly analyze the progress in the medical area. Then, I will necessarily mention the negative impacts of the Technological Progress.

    First of all, with the tremendous progress realized in medicine, we can mark that our life expectancy is now higher than ever and we have found some treatments in order to save people of fatal illness, such as the tetanus. Nowadays, the medical progress goes even further.
    Indeed, so as to illustrate this fact, I have chosen a recording from ABC News entitled "Building a perfect baby" and published in 2009. It makes a state of play of the research in the field of eugenics in the United States. It focuses on a major issue, the one which allows to choose our baby’s traits, the same way we pick clothes from a catalog. Interviewed by the journalist Gigi Stone, Dr. Jeffrey Steinberg says that he can’t promise we’ll get the results we want, but can dramatically increase the chances. Dr. Steinberg has already helped thousands of couples choose their child’s gender. The procedure is called ‘Pre-implantation genetic diagnosis’, or PGD. So the video suggests that parents would have soon the possibility to play God. In this way, medicine doesn't seem to set limits. If the journalist does not take part in the debate, the ethicist with whom she turns the video is worried about the new scientific advances. Actually, this idea will just grow the gap between rich and poor with a very expensive system. The ethicist thinks that we are going to create a kind of subpopulation of ‘genetically perfect’ people and he doesn't know what will happen to this new individual categorie. What will be their place in our modern society ? He condemns and blames this kind of practice and this kind of progress which is not useful at all.

    Besides, the priority of science should be more to try to find solutions to problems that cause the discomfort of individuals. If the progress can make this world better, it also can be injurious. That's why i've chosen the video "Air pollution" of Jamal Khali, a young man who analyzes each week all sorts of problem of the population across his videos. In this document, he proves that our greenhouse gas emissions, due to our vehicles, are causing damages to our health with cardiac diseases, cancer but particularly breathing illness like asthma. His mission is also to meet three scientists to find solution to reduce this pollution. The Progress here is to improve the living conditions of the people. But also being able to make this kind of videos that can inform and find solutions is also a technological progress very useful to our daily lives. Here the progress finds solutions to problems caused by the progress. So it is very important to work on environmental progress for our good.

    To conclude, I would like to say that the Idea of progress can be disputed according to the point of views. Some will favour the environment over science, and others will say the opposite. Not everyone has the same priorities. As far as I am concerned, I think that the progress has to be useful for everyone and medicine or environment issues are really important for the global population. Therefore, I also mean that social progress is one of the most important in order to live in a more rightful society.

    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 25-04-2019 10:59


    Réponse : Notion/Idea of progress de moona, postée le 25-04-2019 à 11:09:05 (S | E)
    Bonjour comsteva,
    Je ne suis pas experte en anglais mais étant moi-même en Terminale cette année je trouve que niveau méthodologie ton texte conviendrait parfaitement à un professeur le jour de l'oral. Tu as bien respecté le schéma classique intro, développement en plusieurs parties et conclusion, tu t'appuies sur des documents que je suppose tu as vus en cours, tu apportes ton opinion personnelle, bref, pour moi c'est très bien.

    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 25-04-2019 13:58



    Réponse : Notion/Idea of progress de here4u, postée le 25-04-2019 à 13:26:09 (S | E)
    Hello!

    Voyons, voyons si cette "synthèse" pourrait satisfaire un professeur exigeant !

    The notion I'm going to deal with is the idea of progress. To begin with, I’d like to give a definition of Progress.
    The idea of progress can be defined as an improvement, a development or a change: a technical, scientific or social advance which contributes to improve (contribute to + Ving) the world and the well-being of people. However, some progress is now being called into question for various reasons.
    How does modern technology affect today’s society ?
    To introduce this topic, I will firstly analyze the progress in the medical area. Then, I will necessarily mention the negative impacts of the Technological Progress.(Ces déterminants sont discutables ici. Détermination un peu légère et sous entendue ...)

    First of all, with the tremendous progress realized in medicine, we can mark that our life expectancy is now higher than ever and we have found some treatments in order to save people of fatal illness, such as the tetanus. Nowadays, the medical progress goes even further.
    Indeed, so as to illustrate this fact, I have chosen a recording from ABC News entitled "Building a perfect baby" and published in 2009. It makes a state of play of the research in the field of eugenics in the United States. It focuses on a major issue, the one which allows to choose our baby’s traits, XX the same way XX we pick clothes from a catalog. Interviewed by the journalist Gigi Stone, Dr. Jeffrey Steinberg says that he can’t promise we’ll get the results we want, but can dramatically increase the chances. Dr. Steinberg has already helped thousands of couples choose their child’s gender. The procedure is called ‘Pre-implantation genetic diagnosis’, or PGD. So the video suggests that parents would have soon the possibility to play God. In this way, medicine doesn't seem to set limits. If the journalist does not take part in the debate, the ethicist with whom she turns the video is worried about the new scientific advances. Actually, this idea will just grow(increase) the gap between XXX rich and XXX poor with a very expensive system. The ethicist thinks that we are going to create a kind of subpopulation of ‘genetically perfect’ people and he doesn't know what will happen to this new individual categorie. What will be their place in our modern society ? He condemns and blames this kind of practice and this kind of progress which is not useful at all.

    Besides, the priority of science should be more to try to find solutions to problems that cause the discomfort of individuals. If the progress can make this world better, it also can be injurious. That's why i've chosen the video "Air pollution" of Jamal Khali, a young man who analyzes each week all sorts of problem of the population across his videos. In this document, he proves that our greenhouse gas emissions, due to our vehicles, are causing damages to our health with(causing) cardiac diseases, cancer but particularly breathing illness like asthma. His mission is also to meet three scientists to find solution to reduce this pollution. The Progress here is to improve the living conditions of the people. But also being able to make this kind of videos that can inform and find solutions is also a technological progress very useful to (word order)our daily lives. Here the progress finds solutions to problems caused by the progress. So it is very important to work on environmental progress for our good.

    To conclude, I would like to say that the Idea of progress can be disputed according to the point of views. Some will favour the environment over science, and others will say the opposite. Not everyone has the same priorities. As far as I am concerned, I think that the progress has to be useful for everyone and medicine or environment issues are really important for the global population. Therefore, I also mean that social progress is one of the most important XXXX in order to live in a more rightful society.

    OK! Not bad! Il conviendrait de mieux expliciter quand il s'agit du "Progrès" (en général) ou d'un progrès particulier, vraiment déterminé par le contexte. Attention à l'ordre des mots aussi.





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