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    Correction/Idée de progrès

    Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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    Correction/Idée de progrès
    Message de david93 posté le 29-04-2019 à 15:04:23 (S | E | F)
    Bonjour,
    je passe l'oral du Bac en anglais et j'aimerais être corrigé sur la notion du progrès s'il vous plait.
    Merci pour votre aide.

    Hello,I’m going to speak about the notion ‘’the idea of progress’’.The idea of progress can be defined as an improvement, a development or a change, a technical, scientific or social advance which contributes to making the world a better place. A progress can be scientific progress, for example, medical advances, cures for illness, cloning, genetically modified organism.
    it’s can be too Technological progress, for example the internet, a social media, a mobile phones.

    How they have changed our lives ? And what are the dangers of these modern ways of communication ?

    First, we studied the text’’Science babies’’,it is a science fiction novel published in 1932 and written by Aldous Huxley. The story takes place in a futuristic place where they produce babies in factories like plants. Babies do not have parents but parents choose their babies and their caracteristics in a list. They are born in artificial incubators where they are inoculate all they need.
    This method of producing is futuristic but the fact that it may exist in the future is not natural, it is negative for the diversity of people who make their babies.

    Then we listened an audio about’’ Building a perfect baby’’. it’s talked about the possibility of create a baby with the caracteristics that we want. The audio is a science fiction where poeple can ask the forms of the baby that they want.
    At the beginning, it was only science fiction but now, it's reality with progress. Choosing physical characteristics is a progress, a massive one, but it's dangerous for the diversity of human people. It’s very evil for the next generation.

    After we studied the text’’ Design your baby’’, it’s talked too about the possibility to create our baby. In the story, people can choose the number of babies, the colour of their eyes, the forms of their hairs. We saw that people can choose physics caracteristics of the baby but they can too choose others caracteristics, for example the number of the high IQ, the personality . it’s about a progress with PGD( pre-implantation genetic diagnosis), it’s consists to create new embryos by fertilizing a woman eggs with sperm.

    And we studied the text’’ A booming business’’, it is about,It's a girl who wants to study and go to university to become a teacher. But she wasn't fulfill her dreams because she was poor. So she was to become a surrogate mother, but she doesn't want to reveal this to not to be judge. The parents may feel excited and afraid at the same time. They may hope that the baby is healthy and they may dread that the mother might change her mind and refuses to give the baby to them. For to be a surrogate mother, the woman must be courageous and serious because it's a great responsability for she.

    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 30-04-2019 08:38



    Réponse : Correction/Idée de progrès de gerondif, postée le 29-04-2019 à 20:28:05 (S | E)
    Bonjour
    erreurs en bleu
    Hello,I’m going to speak about the notion ‘’the idea of progress’’.The idea of progress can be defined as an improvement, a development or a change, a technical, scientific or social advance which contributes to making the world a better place. A progress can be scientific progress, for example, medical advances, cures for illness, cloning, genetically modified organism.
    it’s can be Technological progress too, for example the internet, a social media, a mobile phones.

    How they have(inversez) changed our lives ? And what are the dangers of these modern ways of communication ?

    First, we studied the text’’Science babies’’,it is (an extract from) a science fiction novel published in 1932 " Brave New World" and written by Aldous Huxley. The story takes place in a futuristic place where they produce babies in factories like plants. Babies do not have parents but parents choose their babies and their characteristics in(out of) a list. They are born in artificial incubators where they are inoculated with all they need.
    This method of producing is futuristic but the fact that it may exist in the future is not natural, it is negative for the diversity of people who make their babies.

    Then we listened to an audio about’’ Building a perfect baby’’. it’s talked about the possibility of create(gérondif, ing) a baby with the characteristics that we want. The audio is a science fiction where people can ask the forms of the baby that they want.
    At the beginning, it was only science fiction but now, it's reality with progress. Choosing physical characteristics is a progress, a massive one, but it's dangerous for the diversity of human people. It’s very evil for the next generation.

    After that, (ou then tout court) we studied the text’’ Design your baby’’, it’s talked too also about the possibility to create our baby. In the story, people can choose the number of babies, the colour of their eyes, the forms of their hairs(hairs au pluriel = les poils). We saw that people can choose physics characteristics of the baby but they can too choose others characteristics, for example the number of the high IQ, the personality . it’s about a progress with PGD( pre-implantation genetic diagnosis), it’s consists to(in + ing) create new embryos by fertilizing a woman eggs with sperm.

    And we studied the text’’ A booming business’’, it is about,It's a girl who wants(comme le suite est au passé, mettez un prétérit) to study and go to university to become a teacher. But she wasn't(pouvoir au prétérit) fulfill her dreams because she was poor. So she was to become a surrogate mother, but she doesn't want to reveal this to not to be judge.(à partir de la, grosse fracture parce que vous repassez au présent et on se demande pourquoi) The parents may feel excited and afraid at the same time. They may hope that the baby is healthy and they may dread that the mother might change her mind and refuses to give the baby to them. For to be a surrogate mother, the woman must be courageous and serious because it's a great responsability for she.
    Bon, je trouve que vous enfilez les descriptions de texte comme des perles sur un fil, vous insistez beaucoup sur le même thème, 3 exemples qui disent la même chose, et on s'arrête en plein milieu, le texte n'est pas fini.




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