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    Synthèse/correction

    Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais : Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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    Synthèse/correction
    Message de maknox posté le 22-05-2020 à 11:01:30 (S | E | F)
    Bonjour,
    j'ai réalisé une synthèse pour un concours et j'aurais besoin d'une correction complète. Si quelqu'un a un peu de temps à m'accorder, afin de m'aider, je lui en serais grandement reconnaissant. Je n'ai malheureusement aucun contact de personne parlant anglais, ou de professeurs pouvant m'aider. C'est pour cela que je me tourne vers vous.
    Voici ma synthèse :
    Space, a disappointing dream

    How many children wanted to become astronauts after seeing Star Wars, Star Trek, or any other science fiction? Too many. Yet, besides the dream, space does not seem to be that interesting. Three articles, two from the Observer and the other from a physics professor, both published in the last decade, come complete the Nasa budget history. These four documents tackle some aspects of the space issue, trying to explain lack of interest about space.
    In everyone minds, space has always been an area of dream and mystery. Space shuttle is the result of the devastating technology of the world war II and its V2 rockets. The end of the war leads to a massive recruit of scientists from this technology. Thanks to various science fiction and the excitement of the space race, the latter began with many supporters. Yet, it was dreadfully engaged for America, until the creation of the NASA. America, fearing of a political disrepute, invested heavily on the NASA budget. In the end, with a bit of luck, they finally won the space race with the Apollo moon landing. Later, Europe, America, Russia, and every other country involves in the space domain launched the ISS station, whose primarily goal was to be a first international base on space. The collaboration helped make a new boom in space advancement, launching satellites, and it allows to create the ESA, the NASA equivalent for Europe. Space become rapidly useful, at least for the military sector, with satellite, Earth observation and a first foothold with the stars.

    Nevertheless, space agencies are not lucrative, they even are a true money pit for the country. The American agency suffer a lot of failures before landing a man on the moon: explosion and ignitions failures were the daily life of the engineers, without forgetting that the moon landing took to many risks revealed only later. In truth, NASA has its batch of failure with an enormous annual budget for too little success. It is certain that the politics are not too fond of expensive danger. In addition, the space agency has made no advancements worthy of its budgets: in fifty years, there was no achievements further the moon landing. Nowadays, NASA can no longer launch space shuttle due to the the fear of another space incident such as Challenger, leading the American agency to be dependent upon other countries or private enterprises. The Nasa budgets tend to stabilize itself over time due to the lack of new projects: the many proposals made by special agencies do not have results as high as its costs. Making a moon base, for what purpose? New Martian missions, for what advance? Lack of extraordinary let to a disinterest of the population.

    Yet, some entrepreneurs are enthusiastic with space opportunities. Mainly because politics seems to need them for launching space shuttles: SpaceX is supplying the ISS. Moreover, there are plenty ideas or projects that could make their businesses lucrative. As an example, libration points could be used as a huge storage in space. In fact, privates' businesses are beginning to shapeshift the space domain. By the way, Nasa continues to be deviated in his purposes by different White house Administrators. Company are giving a second wind to the space sector with new ideas like a reusable spacecraft that uses oxygen from Earth made by Reaction Engines or the plans of Mars One. All of that will lead to the commercialisation of space which will improve it the same way that it does with the computer or the telephone.

    As a conclusion, space has always been interesting, yet, with time, it loses his brightness due to political expectations. Currently, private companies could make a new leap on the space sector. [625 words]

    Un grand merci pour votre aide.
    MaKnox


    ------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 22-05-2020 17:14
    Mise en forme standard + gris



    Réponse : Synthèse/correction de gerondif, postée le 22-05-2020 à 19:54:10 (S | E)
    Bonjour
    Erreurs en bleu.
    Space, a disappointing dream

    How many children wanted to become astronauts after seeing Star Wars, Star Trek, or any other science fiction movies? Too many. Yet, besides(apart from) the dream, space does not seem to be that interesting. Three articles, two from the Observer and the another from a physics professor, both published in the last decade, come and/to complete the Nasa budget history. These four documents tackle some aspects of the space issue, trying to explain lack of interest about space.
    In everyone's minds(singulier), space has always been an area of dream and mystery. The space shuttle is the result of the devastating technology of the world war II and its V2 rockets. The end of the war leads(prétérit) to a massive recruit of scientists from this technology. Thanks to various science fiction(je ne comprends pas cet usage de science fiction, je l'aurais compris si adjectival comme science fiction plans, scenarios) and the excitement of the space race, the latter(maladroit, mieux vaudrait directement mettre : the excitement of the space race began with..) began with many supporters. Yet, it was dreadfully engaged(me parait mal dit pour exprimer l'idée que c'était mal barré au départ) for America, until the creation of the NASA. America, fearing of a political disrepute, invested heavily on the NASA budget. In the end, with a bit of luck, they finally won the space race with the Apollo moon landing. Later, Europe, America, Russia, and every other country involves(participe passé) in the space domain launched the ISS station, whose primarily(est un adverbe. primary) goal was to be a first international base on space. The collaboration helped make a new boom in space advancement, launching satellites, and it allows(prétérit) to create the ESA, the NASA equivalent for Europe. Space become(prétérit) rapidly(mettez l'adverbe avant le verbe) useful, at least for the military sector, with satellite, Earth observation and a first foothold with the stars.

    Nevertheless, space agencies are(prétérit) not lucrative, they even are(prétérit) a true money pit for the country. The American agency suffer(prétérit) a lot of failures before landing a man on the moon: explosion and ignitions failures were the daily life of the engineers, without forgetting that the moon landing took too many risks revealed only later. In truth, NASA has(prétérit) its batch of failures with an enormous annual budget for too little success. It is certain that the politics(ne convient pas pour parler des hommes politiques, politics, c'est la politique en général) are not too fond of expensive danger. In addition, the space agency has made no advancements worthy of its budgets: in fifty years, there was(pluriel) no achievements further(after) the moon landing. Nowadays, NASA can no longer launch space shuttles due to the fear of another space incident such as Challenger, leading the American agency to be dependent upon other countries or private enterprises. The Nasa budgets tend to stabilize itself(pluriel) over time due to the lack of new projects: the many proposals made by special agencies do not have results as high as its(pluriel) costs. Making a moon base, for what purpose? New Martian missions, for what advance? Lack of extraordinary(est un adjectif, pas un nom) let to a disinterest of the population.

    Yet, some entrepreneurs are enthusiastic with space opportunities. Mainly because politics seems to need them for launching(to launch) space shuttles: SpaceX is supplying the ISS. Moreover, there are plenty of ideas or projects that could make their businesses lucrative. As an example, libration points could be used as a huge storage in space. In fact, private businesses are beginning to shapeshift the space domain. By the way, Nasa continues to be deviated in his purposes by different White house Administrators. Company(pluriel) are giving a second wind to the space sector with new ideas like a reusable spacecraft that uses oxygen from Earth made by Reaction Engines or the plans of Mars One. All of that will lead to the commercialisation of space which will improve it the same way that it does with the computer or the telephone.

    As a conclusion, space has always been interesting, yet, with time, it loses his its brightness due to political expectations. Currently, private companies could make a new leap onin the space sector.




    Réponse : Synthèse/correction de maknox, postée le 23-05-2020 à 15:40:56 (S | E)
    Un grand merci pour votre réponse, cela m'aide beaucoup.




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