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    Our city /correction

    Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais : Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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    Our city /correction
    Message de fannyb posté le 29-04-2021 à 19:58:04 (S | E | F)
    Bonjour,
    Je dois faire un projet qui consiste à réaménager une ville selon différentes tâches. Pourriez-vous m’indiquer si vous constatez quelques incohérences dans mon texte s’il vous plaît. Merci pour vos réponses.

    We had several tasks to complete and these are our proposals :

    First ad foremost, the streets are jammed of residents’ and visitors’ vehicles. That’s why, we are proposing to build an underground car park in the south west, which will not change the appearance of the area. However, we want this car park to be ecologically responsible, so we have come up with the idea of building wind turbines to supply the underground car park with electricity.

    Moreover, we can notice that the canal is derelict. Thus, to give it back all its colours why not introduce frogs after cleaning it, this will allow a new ecosystem to develop. In addition, we had the idea to create a beautiful avenue around the canal with a lot of tree to have a less polluted atmosphere.

    Concerning the abandoned swimming pool, what better way to add attraction to the area than a brand new pool with slides.
    Besides, let’s talk about the industrial buildings, we have chosen to demolish a majority of them and renovate three of them, two will be covered with solar panels and the other one will be a Green building, covered with plants.

    On the other hand, the place is densely built with a number of uninhabited dwellings so we decided to destroy these dwellings and rebuild more eco-responsible ones in the east of the area. These houses would have solar panels on their roofs.

    As well, because of the ring road and inner urban ring suffer from traffic congestion we decided to widen all the roads to add new lanes.

    By the way, we will be refurbished the front of the Warwick Bar but keeping its historic facade so that it remains authentic.

    However, here are some other ideas we have to propose you to make this area lively. Indeed, in order to attract a young population we have set up a kindergarten in the south next to the habitations and a primary school in the north. You can see that we put a library next to the kindergarten for educational purposes. Furthermore, we needed a dynamic neighbourhood, therefore, a shopping centre will create jobs and promote a certain commercial power. Nevertheless, in order to prioritise small businesses, we have set up a space in the south for these businesses close to the habitation, which will create more activity in the city centre. On top of that, we want to preserve the health of our residents and make the area safe, thus we have built a hospital and a police station.


    ------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 29-04-2021 21:08
    gris



    Réponse : Our city /correction de gerondif, postée le 29-04-2021 à 23:44:36 (S | E)
    Bonjour
    Erreurs en bleu

    We had several tasks to complete and these are our proposals :

    First ad(and) foremost, the streets are jammed of residents’ and visitors’ vehicles. That’s why, we are proposing to build an underground car park in the south west, which will not change the appearance of the area. However, we want this car park to be ecologically responsible, so we have come up with the idea of building wind turbines to supply the underground car park with electricity.

    Moreover, we can notice that the canal is derelict. Thus, to give it back all its colours(virgule) why not introduce frogs after cleaning it, this will allow a new ecosystem to develop. In addition, we had the idea to create a beautiful avenue around the canal with a lot of trees(pluriel) to have a less polluted atmosphere.

    Concerning the abandoned swimming pool, what better way to add attraction to the area than a brand new pool with slides.
    Besides, let’s talk about the industrial buildings, we have chosen to demolish a majority of them and renovate three of them, two will be covered with solar panels and the other one (the last one) will be a Green building, covered with plants. je suppose que le G majuscule est intentionnel.

    On the other hand, the place is densely built with a number of uninhabited dwellings so we decided to destroy these dwellings and rebuild more eco-responsible ones in the east of the area. These houses would have solar panels on their roofs.

    As well(Morever, de même au sens de de plus), because of(à supprimer, vous voulez dire parce que, pas à cause de) the ring road and inner urban ring suffer from traffic congestion (virgule) we decided to widen all the roads to add new lanes.

    By the way, we will be refurbished(participe présent) the front of the Warwick Bar but keeping its historic facade so that it remains authentic.

    However, here are some other ideas we have to propose to you to make this area (more) lively. Indeed, in order to attract a young population (virgule) we have set up a kindergarten in the South next to the habitations and a primary school in the North. You can see that we put a library next to the kindergarten for educational purposes. Furthermore, we needed a dynamic neighbourhood, therefore, a shopping centre will create jobs and promote a certain commercial power. Nevertheless, in order to prioritise small businesses, we have set up a space in the south for these businesses close to the habitation(pluriel), which will create more activity in the city centre. On top of that, we want to preserve the health of our residents and make the area safe, thus we have built a hospital and a police station.



    Réponse : Our city /correction de fannyb, postée le 30-04-2021 à 10:49:24 (S | E)
    Bonjour,

    We had several tasks to complete and these are our proposals :

    First and foremost, the streets are jammed of residents’ and visitors’ vehicles. That’s why, we are proposing to build an underground car park in the south west, which will not change the appearance of the area. However, we want this car park to be ecologically responsible, so we have come up with the idea of building wind turbines to supply the underground car park with electricity.

    Moreover, we can notice that the canal is derelict. Thus, to give it back all its colours, why not introduce frogs after cleaning it, this will allow a new ecosystem to develop. In addition, we had the idea to create a beautiful avenue around the canal with a lot of trees to have a less polluted atmosphere.

    Concerning the abandoned swimming pool, what better way to add attraction to the area than a brand new pool with slides.
    Besides, let’s talk about the industrial buildings, we have chosen to demolish a majority of them and renovate three of them, two will be covered with solar panels and the last one will be a green building, covered with plants.

    On the other hand, the place is densely built with a number of uninhabited dwellings so we decided to destroy these dwellings and rebuild more eco-responsible ones in the east of the area. These houses would have solar panels on their roofs.

    What’s more, because the ring road and inner urban ring suffer from traffic congestion, we decided to widen all the roads to add new lanes.

    By the way, we will be refurbished the front of the Warwick Bar but keeping its historic facade so that it remains authentic.

    However, here are some other ideas we have to propose to you to make this area more lively. Indeed, in order to attract a young population, we have set up a kindergarten south next to the habitations and a primary school north (je n’ai pas compris pourquoi on ne peut dire "in the north" ? 😅) . You can see that we put a library next to the kindergarten for educational purposes. Furthermore, we needed a dynamic neighbourhood, therefore, a shopping centre will create jobs and promote a certain commercial power. Nevertheless, in order to prioritise small businesses, we have set up a space south for these businesses close to the habitations, which will create more activity in the city centre. On top of that, we want to preserve the health of our residents and make the area safe, thus we have built a hospital and a police station.



    Réponse : Our city /correction de gerondif, postée le 30-04-2021 à 17:38:12 (S | E)
    Bonjour
    First and foremost, the streets are jammed of with (crammed with) residents’ and visitors’ vehicles. That’s why, we are proposing to build an underground car park in the south west, which will not change the appearance of the area. However, we want this car park to be ecologically responsible, so we have come up with the idea of building wind turbines to supply the underground car park with electricity.

    Moreover, we can notice that the canal is derelict. Thus, to give it back all its colours, why not introduce frogs after cleaning it, this will allow a new ecosystem to develop. In addition, we had the idea to create a beautiful avenue around the canal with a lot of trees to have a less polluted atmosphere.

    Concerning the abandoned swimming-pool, what better way to add attraction to the area than a brand new pool with slides ?
    Besides, let’s talk about the industrial buildings, we have chosen to demolish a majority of them and renovate three of them, two will be covered with solar panels and the last one will be a green building, covered with plants.

    On the other hand, the place is densely built with a number of uninhabited dwellings so we decided to destroy these dwellings and rebuild more eco-responsible ones in the east of the area. These houses would have solar panels on their roofs.

    What’s more, because the ring road and inner urban ring suffer from traffic congestion, we decided to widen all the roads to add new lanes.

    By the way, we will be refurbishedING the front of the Warwick Bar but keeping its historic facade so that it remains authentic.

    However, here are some other ideas we have to (pourquoi mettre cet auxilaire, être obligé de) propose to you to make this area more lively. Indeed, in order to attract a young population, we have set up a kindergarten south next to the habitations (signifie en anglais le fait d'ahbiter quelque part et non le bâtiment) and a primary school north (je n’ai pas compris pourquoi on ne peut dire "in the north" ? j'aurais gardé in the north of + un certain endroit, mais si vous voulez le garder, ça passera) . You can see that we put a library next to the kindergarten for educational purposes. Furthermore, we needed a dynamic neighbourhood, therefore, a shopping centre will create jobs and promote a certain commercial power. Nevertheless, in order to prioritise small businesses, we have set up a space south for these businesses close to the habitations, which will create more activity in the city centre. On top of that, we want to preserve the health of our residents and make the area safe, thus we have built a hospital and a police station.



    Réponse : Our city /correction de fannyb, postée le 30-04-2021 à 19:13:58 (S | E)
    Bonjour,
    First and foremost, the streets are jammed with residents’ and visitors’ vehicles. That’s why, we are suggesting to build an underground car park in the south west, which will not change the appearance of the area. However, we want this car park to be ecologically responsible, so we have come up with the idea of building wind turbines to supply the underground car park with electricity.

    Moreover, we can notice that the canal is derelict. Thus, to give it back all its colours, why not introduce frogs after cleaning it, this will allow a new ecosystem to develop. In addition, we had the idea to create a beautiful avenue around the canal with a lot of trees to have a less polluted atmosphere.

    Concerning the abandoned swimming-pool, what better way to add attraction to the area than a brand new pool with slides ?
    Besides, let’s talk about the industrial buildings, we have chosen to demolish a majority of them and renovate three of them, two will be covered with solar panels and the last one will be a green building, covered with plants.

    On the other hand, the place is densely built with a number of uninhabited dwellings so we decided to destroy these dwellings and rebuild more eco-responsible ones in the east of the area. These houses would have solar panels on their roofs.

    What’s more, because the ring road and inner urban ring suffer from traffic congestion, we decided to widen all the roads to add new lanes.

    By the way, we will be refurbishing the front of the Warwick Bar but keeping its historic facade so that it remains authentic.

    However, here are some other ideas we suggest you to make this area more lively. Indeed, in order to attract a young population, we have set up a kindergarten south next to the houses and a primary school north. You can see that we put a library next to the kindergarten for educational purposes. Furthermore, we needed a dynamic neighbourhood, therefore, a shopping centre will create jobs and promote a certain commercial power. Nevertheless, in order to prioritise small businesses, we have set up a space south for these businesses close to the houses, which will create more activity in the city centre. On top of that, we want to preserve the health of our residents and make the area safe, thus we have built a hospital and a police station.



    Réponse : Our city /correction de gerondif, postée le 30-04-2021 à 19:20:27 (S | E)
    However, here are some other ideas we suggest to you /submit to you/ to make this area more lively.



    Réponse : Our city /correction de fannyb, postée le 30-04-2021 à 23:40:24 (S | E)
    Bonsoir,

    First and foremost, the streets are jammed with residents’ and visitors’ vehicles. That’s why, we are suggesting to build an underground car park in the south west, which will not change the appearance of the area. However, we want this car park to be ecologically responsible, so we have come up with the idea of building wind turbines to supply the underground car park with electricity.

    Moreover, we can notice that the canal is derelict. Thus, to give it back all its colours, why not introduce frogs after cleaning it, this will allow a new ecosystem to develop. In addition, we had the idea to create a beautiful avenue around the canal with a lot of trees to have a less polluted atmosphere.

    Concerning the abandoned swimming-pool, what better way to add attraction to the area than a brand new pool with slides ?
    Besides, let’s talk about the industrial buildings, we have chosen to demolish a majority of them and renovate three of them, two will be covered with solar panels and the last one will be a green building, covered with plants.

    On the other hand, the place is densely built with a number of uninhabited dwellings so we decided to destroy these dwellings and rebuild more eco-responsible ones in the east of the area. These houses would have solar panels on their roofs.

    What’s more, because the ring road and inner urban ring suffer from traffic congestion, we decided to widen all the roads to add new lanes.

    By the way, we will be refurbishing the front of the Warwick Bar but keeping its historic facade so that it remains authentic.

    However, here are some other ideas we suggest to you to make this area more lively. Indeed, in order to attract a young population, we have set up a kindergarten south next to the houses and a primary school north. You can see that we put a library next to the kindergarten for educational purposes. Furthermore, we needed a dynamic neighbourhood, therefore, a shopping centre will create jobs and promote a certain commercial power. Nevertheless, in order to prioritise small businesses, we have set up a space south for these businesses close to the houses, which will create more activity in the city centre. On top of that, we want to preserve the health of our residents and make the area safe, thus we have built a hospital and a police station.




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